Post # 1
My Fi’s best man’s wife is pregnant. We found out tonight. Initally I was really excited. After 2 hours…i’m feeling awful. They started trying 3 months ago and got pregnant asap. She’s a little older than me. 2 years ago I had a miscarriage. It was the most painful thing i’ve ever been through. I have no idea why I miscarried. We weren’t trying and aren’t now but i’ve never been overly cautious about contraception. I don’t even know why this woman’s pregnancy makes me feel so bad. I feel like a bad person for feeling….jealous? Annoyed at her for being pregnant? I know Fiance knows something’s up now but I don’t want to talk to him about it. What is up with me? I should just be happy for this couple but it’s turned into what I can only assume is jealousy….and I don’t think I even know if I want kids yet. I don’t even know why i’m posting. Just need to say this to someone :/
Post # 3
Im so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I know that when my sister anounced she is ahving a baby 1 month before my wedding i was a little peeved!! But i didnt let on to her that i was. Eventually i got over it and realized how awesome it is she is having a baby! so maybe you will not be so upset eventually. i am always a little jealous when someones pregnant! and i dont know if im ready yet. maybe its a natural woman thing!
Post # 4
I’ve never been in your situation, so I can’t say for sure, but here are my thoughts:
1) You’re not an awful person. You’re a woman with motherly instincts who has had a traumatic experience. There is stuff to deal with there, and just when you think it’s all dealt with, something like this might remind you that there’s more work to do.
2) Do you think maybe you’re ready to start trying again, but didn’t realize it until now?
Either way, I don’t think you’re a bad person.
Post # 5
Don’t feel like a bad person. I have had miscarriages, and there are so many on this site that have as well. I think it’s common to have a little bit of a stinging feeling when someone else is doing something that you wanted to be doing. Big hugs.
Post # 6
Thank you. I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with her being pregnant at my wedding. I’m genuinely happy for her. But i’m pissed at the situation. I just don’t get why :/ I think maybe it is a female thing ….?
Thanks, I appreciate this. I never look back at the miscarriage and feel it was a big thing. In fact after the night it happened, we’ve never said a word to each other about it. I do think i’m jealous of this woman though. I’m jealous it happened so easy for her and I feel jealous of her life now. I just don’t get why. I like my life….I’m really shocked at me feeling so weird now :/
Post # 7
I think this must be it 🙂 I think i’m terrified it won’t happen for me easily and I’m almost sad it did for her. I know that’s not nice.
Post # 8
@ticatica: It can be a tough thing to get over. I had 3 miscarriages and after the last one it took another 8 months to get pregnant again. During the same time frame 3 of my friends got pregnant. One was an oopsie, the 2nd tried for 2 months, and the other had more struggles than I. I was really hard on myself. I felt like a failure. I was happy for them, but my own problems made me feel so sad. You’ll get through it. I promise.
Post # 9
I just wanted to say that you shouldn’t beat yourself up about feeling this way. I think it is a lot more normal than one would think, especially after having gone through a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago. My miscarriage was very emotionally trying for me…I was so hurt, and confused, and angry (though we hadn’t been trying to get pregnant at the time, I instantly fell in love with my baby-to-be when I got the pregnancy test results). It was awful.
Seven months later, I finally got married. My cousin (who is ten years younger than me…I’m 30) got married about two months after I did. She was promptly pregnant (like, a month later…). I was SO upset when I found out. We, like you, weren’t trying yet…and I was still on the fence about if I was even ready to start trying. Then to hear that this girl…who JUST got married, who was SO much younger than me, had already gone onto the “next big stage” in life…I just felt tormented. I wanted to be happy for her, but it was so hard. I cried (a lot). I got angry. I got jealous. I never mentioned it to this cousin, but instead congratulated her and kept my feelings to myself.
Eventually…I DID start to genuinely feel happy for her. The negative feelings will subside. Just take a deep breath and know that this is HER life, her path…you just need to concentrate on your life and your path, and do what is right for YOU when it is right for you. *Hugs to you my dear*
Post # 10
Thanks for sharing this. It’s good to know i’m not just being a bitch 🙂