Post # 16
Im a stay at home mother with no money because I don’t work. And have nowhere to go. None of his family members are like this. Im friends with his male cousins…. I just don’t get it. I think i may set up a counseling session myself so I know it gets done.
Post # 17
And now here we are having a conversation on causal sex because I commented on something on faceboik. I think it is great to explore your sexuality. It’s your body. Have at it. But my husband says, well honestly I don’t even know because I was so mad at what he was saying. Something like I should be ashamed of why i had sex with my exes. I had serious daddy issues growing 8ul because of a lot of things he did to me. So I thought finding love was through sex and I had sex A LOT. and many of the guy’s my husband doesn’t know about because honestly it is the past and none of his business. But i said i do regret it but i am not ashamed of it. It is the past and i dont live there anymore. He says it is basically the same thing and I should be ashamed of it.
He knows all of the shit that went down with my father. And how i suffer from OCD, anxiety and complex ptsd because of it. I don’t so much as suffer anymore since going to therapy and having a regular meditation and yoga session. And yet he tells me i should be ashamed. Therefore making my mental illness light of a situation. While i may not have handled my situation great, I won’t be ashamed of my past. It made made me who I am.
My husband was a virgin when we met. Said he saved hinself for the perfect person. In his past relationship( the longest being i months) he was NEVER jealous about her. Said she hung out with her gay bestfriend. But turns out he wasn’t gay and they had sex a lot. Cause he wasn’t “givimg it up”. So maybe now he thinks i am like her, especially since i am sexually experienced.
Post # 18
And now he is saying that this guy isn’t really a “friend” because he is moving away anyway. Lol. So people that aren’t friends just buy tickets for anyone?
Post # 19
“When we first started dating, he made me delete all the men from my facebook friends.”
– Nope. Sounds like this guy is still too immature for a real relationship.
My Fiance and I have been together for 8++ years and we were friends before that. He knew getting into the relationship with me that I had more guy friends (still do) than girl friends (less drama) and he is fine with that. He is comfortable with me hanging out with them even without him because we still keep a life outside of each other. Having you delete your male friends is making him sound so insecure.
ETA: Your relationship sounds similar to what my dad did to my mum, but of course back then there was no Facebook, so he just forced her to stay out of touch with her male friends. And forced her to become a Stay-At-Home Mom. And then eventually all her friends. Then he cheated on her eventually (multiple times) and finally left her because she “didn’t have her own personality anymore, and where was the girl he met all those years ago?”.
Post # 20
My ex was like that… wouldn’t let me talk to other guys but it was ok if he talked to other girls because “I don’t trust guys and know what they’re like… but I know me”. Huge hypocrit… and he was extremely controlling and alienated me from people which made it very difficult to finally leave.
Post # 21
He shames you for your past too? No no no. That is NOT okay. This guy is bad news. Being young and immature does not explain his disrespect, posessiveness, and controlling behaviour. “Making” you delete all men from your Facebook was a bit glaring flag, and he certainly has only added to them.
Post # 22
Why’d you have a kid with this guy? I would get a job, give yourself some financial freedom, and get the hell out of there.
Post # 23
Why did you marry this guy?!
edit: oh man, you have a kid? Do you have family you can stay with?
Post # 24
Your husband sounds like my ex boyfriend. I don’t really have advise to give apart from running far away lol jk. Honestly, jealousy is very unattractive, especially when you haven’t done anything wrong. I would try talking to him about it and if nothing changes, decide if you can deal with this for the rest of your life.
Post # 25
What I get from your post is that he is worried you may find the friend more attractive. Otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned him posting half naked photos. Men have physical insecurities to 🙂
Post # 26
“My husband has said three words to me since he found out.”
“a man can’t even look my way without him getting jealous that his wife may be attractive to other people.”
“he made me delete all the men from my facebook friends.”
“I have caught him in many a lie and i can always tell.”
“I also was studying in college with my girlfriends “boyfriend” type guy and he flipped shit.”
“i told him he needed individual counseling and we need to go to marriage counseling. He told me he would find one and we would go. Months later I just let it go”
“he tells me i should be ashamed.”
Nope nope nope. Why did you accept this from the beginning? This is very controlling and I’m worried it might escalate in the future. Leave, or insist on counselling at the very least. Do you have any family you could stay with or anything? Taking a break would be a good idea and would show him that his controlling behaviour is driving you away instead of keeping you under his thumb where he wants you. I would also suggest getting a job, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with SAHMs but in cases like this is it keeping you utterly dependent on him with no resources of your own should you need to get away.