(Closed) Jealousy

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 19
246 posts
Helper bee

“When we first started dating, he made me delete all the men from my facebook friends.”

– Nope. Sounds like this guy is still too immature for a real relationship.

My Fiance and I have been together for 8++ years and we were friends before that. He knew getting into the relationship with me that I had more guy friends (still do) than girl friends (less drama) and he is fine with that. He is comfortable with me hanging out with them even without him because we still keep a life outside of each other. Having you delete your male friends is making him sound so insecure.


ETA: Your relationship sounds similar to what my dad did to my mum, but of course back then there was no Facebook, so he just forced her to stay out of touch with her male friends. And forced her to become a Stay-At-Home Mom. And then eventually all her friends. Then he cheated on her eventually (multiple times) and finally left her because she “didn’t have her own personality anymore, and where was the girl he met all those years ago?”.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  CorpseBride88.
Post # 20
1011 posts
Bumble bee

My ex was like that… wouldn’t let me talk to other guys but it was ok if he talked to other girls because “I don’t trust guys and know what they’re like… but I know me”. Huge hypocrit… and he was extremely controlling and alienated me from people which made it very difficult to finally leave. 

Post # 21
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

He shames you for your past too? No no no. That is NOT okay. This guy is bad news. Being young and immature does not explain his disrespect, posessiveness, and controlling behaviour. “Making” you delete all men from your Facebook was a bit glaring flag, and he certainly has only added to them.

Post # 22
1299 posts
Bumble bee

Why’d you have a kid with this guy? I would get a job, give yourself some financial freedom, and get the hell out of there.

Post # 23
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Why did you marry this guy?!

edit: oh man, you have a kid? Do you have family you can stay with? 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Kaymar.
Post # 24
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your husband sounds like my ex boyfriend. I don’t really have advise to give apart from running far away lol jk. Honestly, jealousy is very unattractive, especially when you haven’t done anything wrong. I would try talking to him about it and if nothing changes, decide if you can deal with this for the rest of your life.

Post # 25
350 posts
Helper bee

What I get from your post is that he is worried you may find the friend more attractive. Otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned him posting half naked photos. Men have physical insecurities to 🙂

Post # 26
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

“My husband has said three words to me since he found out.”
“a man can’t even look my way without him getting jealous that his wife may be attractive to other people.”
“he made me delete all the men from my facebook friends.”
“I have caught him in many a lie and i can always tell.”
“I also was studying in college with my girlfriends “boyfriend” type guy and he flipped shit.”
“i told him he needed individual counseling and we need to go to marriage counseling. He told me he would find one and we would go. Months later I just let it go”
“he tells me i should be ashamed.”

Nope nope nope. Why did you accept this from the beginning? This is very controlling and I’m worried it might escalate in the future. Leave, or insist on counselling at the very least. Do you have any family you could stay with or anything? Taking a break would be a good idea and would show him that his controlling behaviour is driving you away instead of keeping you under his thumb where he wants you. I would also suggest getting a job, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with SAHMs but in cases like this is it keeping you utterly dependent on him with no resources of your own should you need to get away.

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