- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013 - UK
This is a bit of a “food for thought post”. Fiance has many female friends whom he is very close to, just as I have many male friends. He even has one whom he used to date, briefly, as a teenager, and whom he had a bit of a “Dawson and Joey” thing with during secondary school. This doesn’t bother me in the slightest. In the past, he has gone on holiday with his female friends, gone for drinks with them without me, and even stayed over at theirs if he was unable to get back home, for whatever reason. When other people have heard about this, they are scandalised, and even more so when I say I don’t mind. Likewise, I have put up male friends in our spare room (both whilst Fiance was away, and when he wasn’t), if they needed a place to crash.
My reasoning is this: if Fiance wanted to have a sexual or romantic relationship with any of these women, he would have started it a long time ago. If he was having sex with any of them, he would tell me that he was working late and sneak out with them… he wouldn’t simply say “do you mind if I go out for drinks with X and Y tonight? I haven’t seen them in ages”. If he decided he wanted to be with them, I believe he has enough honour to end things with me first, before moving on. Also, there is nothing less attractive in a relationship than jealousy. Even on the most basic level, I think jealousy is a sign of insecurity, and that’s not good news.
The thing I find a little odd is that if anything like this comes up in conversation, a lot of people seem to think that Fiance and I are very odd as a couple. Perhaps I’m missing the point here, but it strikes me that a lot of people are very suspicious of their partner… and the older I get, the more I realise that a lot of people are right to be suspicious! I simply couldn’t live like that.
Anyway. Over to the hive. Thoughts, bees?