(Closed) Jealousy and Anger over sister’s wedding.

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
14445 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so sorry this is happening!!  I would be so angry at her too if I were you, but from reading your post, I almost feel bad for her!  It doesn’t really sound like she’s making very smart choices with her life… and maybe because she is jealous of you, which means she probably did it on purpose, not that it would excuse her from her behavior.  You’ve already said some of the family has been harsh, its a totally different situation from your steady and good relationship.  They probably see that difference so I think your day will still be yours and your marriage, a put together and thought out choice, will be seen differently from hers… a rather crazy whim. At least that what I gather from what you’ve said

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Am I reading this correctly that your wedding is in November and you wanted your reply card back in June?

Post # 5
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

I agree. I know it’s hard to be dealing with this but at least when you get married it won’t be because you’ve HAD to. It will be a well planned, beautiful event.

Post # 6
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Moose1209: probably because its a destination wedding

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@Moose1209:  I’m assuming she wanted it back early enough to make arrangements for the event.  Hotel and reception…

Anyways, I’m sorry this happened.  Just try to give her the benefit of the doubt regarding her family planning.  I know it sucks but just remember you’re being more wise about these things than she is and you’re with a great guy!

Post # 9
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry, you’re absolutely appalled and hurt that your sister is looking for churches to get married in?  And you think she decided to have a child to one-up you?  All I can say is, let it go.  Her decisions have absolutely nothing to do with you, and it’s not your job to decide when the right time is for her to do things.  She can get married when she wants, she can have a baby when she wants.  Maybe they’re not the most responsible decisions for her to make, but they’re her decisions to make and they probably have very little to do with you.

I think you need to get over whatever feelings you have against your sister living her life, and realize that a little baby is about to come into the world into what sounds like an unstable household.  I think you should maintain your relationship with your sister as well as you can because that baby is going to need all the love and support it can get from more stable relatives – like yourself. 

Post # 10
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Although it really sucks that youre going through this, I agree with pinkshoes:  your wedding, i believe will be seen in a very different light than hers.  Especially if she’s taking heat from the family.  She is most likely jealous of what you have and because of that made some unwise decisions.  Just focus on your day πŸ™‚ I’m sure it’s going to be beautiful.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with all this drama though, maybe you can explain to her and how you are feeling.  If she doesnt respond well or seem to care, maybe you can find someone else to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. It will probably make it a whole lot less stressful on you.

Post # 11
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Tell her that shes not Maid/Matron of Honor anymore.  Tell her that she should focus on herself-pregnancy & own wedding.  

i wouldn’t worry about the reply card..that seems silly to me to be mad about.  

Post # 12
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would relieve your sister of her Maid/Matron of Honor duties, put it nicely and let her know you’re excited about her upcoming wedding and baby, but you don’t want to add the stress of your wedding on top of what she has going on. I know it’ll be hard to get out nicely when you’re upset, but you’ll save yourself a lot of grief.

Just remember like @pinkshoes said, your wedding is going to have a totally different meaning to your family and that should make it feel extra special on your special day.

Post # 13
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re over-reacting.  They’ve been together for 3 years…why is it so cruel that they decided to have a baby?  Unless they decide they want to get married on your wedding day and put your entire family in a tough spot, odds are she’s just living her life how she sees fit and not doing this to steal the spotlight from you.

I do agree with PP that you should tell her she doesn’t have to be your Maid/Matron of Honor anymore since she hasn’t been helping you out

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m probably the odd one out, but I’d say Ziggletk was dead on about her sister.  I’ve known A LOT of people like this who think they have to be the center of attention ALL the time and will do anything to keep it on them.  Which is what it sounds like to me. 

I do, however, agree with the others.  Tell her she’s out as your Maid/Matron of Honor (sorry, but I’d have been furious with HER deciding she’d be my MOH) and explain it the way you think best.  Either so she can focus on the baby and her own wedding or because you’re angry with how she’s treating you.  I just wouldn’t do it when you’re wanting to rip her throat out πŸ˜‰ (joking! just joking!!!) 

As for the card, give her a set deadline: if she doesn’t send the card back by then, she won’t have a reservation waiting for her at YOUR wedding.  Then, either ignore her or support her as you feel best.

good luck, and hope things calm down for you. πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I say it’s time to find a new MOH! It’s not even because of the pregnancy, she just sounds like a brat!

Post # 16
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Shey has too much going on to be your MOH! Just remember, though, if you replace her, she may FREAK and try to make things worse!

I don’t understand people…grr.

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