(Closed) Jealousy issues…please help

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sheila804:  well first of all, how old is your husband? I definitely wouldn’t have caused such a public argument over a 60 yr old women with fake breasts, let alone one of your mother’s friends. It sounds like your Darling Husband loves you just the way you are, and this jealousy is really your insecurity that only you can fix. Unless you feel neglected by your Darling Husband or he is constantly ogling other women, I would let this specific incident go. I’ve seen women obviously flaunting their impressive implants, and honestly, it would be hard for anyone to not take notice. It sounds like counseling may be beneficial to you and your relationship, because these insecurities in yourself will ruin your marriage. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Sheila804:  I would have been staring at them too. LOl! Give him a break. he’s a guy…most of em like boobs. He probably loves yours just the way they are! He told you so Didn’t he? 

Post # 6
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Sheila804:  I’m not sure how I would have reacted but, in my case, I’ve never caught my husband checking out other women when we’ve been together so he either doesn’t do it, or does it very discreetly.  So if this happened to us, I would have to think that he was looking more because they were “out there” and freakish and not because he was hot for them. 

Unless your husband is a known oggler or has a fetish for big, fake boobs, I’d give him a pass. 

Also, don’t get a boob job. 

Post # 7
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Birdi:  +1 I would have been staring too!

 

It’s never appropriate to cause such a scene at someone else’s party.  And I don’t think getting breast implants will solve your confidence issues.

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sure I would have looked, too – LOL. It’s not like he was hitting on her, etc, right in front of your face. Then I could see you being upset. We all have flaws, or things we would like to change about ourselves. I don’t think getting implants would make you feel any better about yourself, though. Confidence really has to come from a deeper place, I think.

Post # 9
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think it’s weird to feel jealous at times. But she is a 60 year old woman, I’m sure attractive, but it sounds like she displays her “assets” in a way over the top manner. Dare I say tacky?

I got a beautiful push up bra from Victoria’s after years of thinking it was a silly thing to do. It has boosted my confidence, makes me feel sexy. Boyfriend or Best Friend loves my “girls” just the way they are too.

 

Kind of nice to see strange men checking out my ladies though, it has done wonders for my self esteem.

 

Get a push up girl!

Post # 10
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I would stare too…. O_O

Post # 11
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

PS, most people look at things they find attractive, beautiful or things that are just plain freakish….

 

I think it’s safe to say all men check out other women when we aren’t around, but women do it too, let’s be fair!

Just a few months back A gf and myself were shopping, we spotted some hot guy on the front of People magazine and had a few things to say about him, lol


Doesn’t mean we are going to stray or leave our men. My guy is handsome in many ways, not movie star material though, but I love him the way he is and wouldn’t trade him in for Gerald Butler or Ryan Gosling any day of the week.

Your guy feels the same for you!

Post # 12
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Sheila804:  I catch my boyfriend checking out breast implants *ALL* the time…and I usually am, too! It’s hard NOT to notice them around here. We live in Dallas and when I say ALL of my friends have implants, I mean ALL, and they all have had wonderful experiences and say it changed their outlook on themselves.

 

 Listen, I understand you’re insecure, I think everyone is about something to a degree. The problem is when it starts causing issues in your relationships, and it sounds like it has. 

 

 When I ask my Boyfriend or Best Friend (a WONDEFUL guy) what he’d think about me getting implants, he’s very honest “I’ll love you with or without them, but I’m not going to complain if you get them, I think they’d look great. What do YOU want?”  He’s right: at the end of the day, it’s YOUR choice. If it really bugs you that much, it’s certainly something you could look into. Since I’ve lost SOOOO much weight, my boobs arent what they used to be and look pretty awful…so I’m getting something done about it. Because *I* want to.

 

 The only cautionary disclaimer I’ll give you is that before undergoing any surgical procedures, I’d encourage you to talk to a counselour and see if they think you may be suffering from Body Dismorphic Disorder.  Plastic surgery should be an elective procedure, not one you feel you cant live without.

 

 

ETA: I should add I’ve had several cosmetic procedures and get injections in pretty much every corner of my face.

Post # 13
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mchitt329:  Ditto to staring. I would be staring with him because they are so obviously fake i would be amazed. Same with how i stare at a chick with a super short skirt, not that i find her attractive, but i cant help but stare at hoes. 

 

LOL he sounds like he loves you the way you are and you have self esteem issues you need to address. Getting breast implants wont make it any better. 

 

Post # 14
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

OP, I feel for you. Unless someone else has jelousy issues they dont get it.  you were not jelouse of a 60 year old women, you were jelouse your husband noticed her breasts. I totally get it, I get jelouse over the most random of things. and you cant always help where you get upset, regardless of if its a party or what not. Everyones had that happen at some point. Honestly I would totally get implants. Its your body, your life and everyone deserve happiness with themselves. I recently had smart lipo on my belly because Its had a pooch no matter what I did and I am so glad I did. It was a constant source of insecurity and unhappiness for me. you can also have your own fat injected into your breasts if your husband wants a more natural option. Jelousy is hard but if you gain your own confidence it gets better 🙂 

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