(Closed) Jealousy of those who went before me…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was the first out of my friends and family (I’m the oldest out of this generation of cousins), so I didn’t feel any wedding related jelousy towards anyone.  I have to say, though, that my YOUNGER sister is pregnant with her second child and that puts me at a 3 or 4 because I wanted to be the first to give my grandma a great-grandchild 🙁  She has 2 boys, so maybe I’ll give her a girl (except I don’t want a girl, lol). 

Post # 4
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I can totally relate with this! My Fiance and I had been together for quite a while before he proposed.  Before we got engaged there were quite a few of our friends that had been dating for much less time than we had that got engaged and I was extremely jealous of this.  I almost felt like we had “put in our time” and they were jumping the gun.  Funny how the engagement thing can make us all a little crazy!

Post # 5
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception

I was very bitter when people who started dating after us got engaged before us.  I have to admit that I was even jealous of a good friend of mine who got engaged about 6 months after meeting her now husband.  I wasn’t really jealous of people who were even a tiny bit older than me, or dating for around the same time (or longer).

Post # 6
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I can’t relate either, as my husband proposed after dating 6 mos.  But Penguin, I think your rating system is dead on.  I would be the same way, if I was faced with that situation.

Post # 7
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I can relate!  DH and I were together for 7.5 years when we got married!!! You can’t even imagine how many “Category 4” weddings we attended during that time!

Post # 8
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m the first of my friends to get engaged. But I do get jealous when I hear about someone I know who got engaged after me but is getting married before me.

And I got jealous of FI’s friends who got married before us and they’ve been together significantly less than we have. That was probably a 3 on your rating scale.

Post # 9
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am not engaged yet, so I’m kind of at that point. So many people around me are getting engaged, it is to the point where I am glad I’m not quite ready yet (within the next year I think, we are only 21/22). I sorta judge them more than get jealous. I just get annoyed. Here would be my scale:

0- Not annoyed. His friends who I really don’t know well, so I know nothing about their relationship mostly. 

1- Slightly annoyed. They have been together less time than we have (3 years in January)

2- Annoyed. They don’t have their sh*t together (finances, jobs, life in general)
**also I have to add, if I was happy for them but then they went a little bit overboard about the engagement and it made them seem like a different person, that would go here too**

3- Pretty annoyed. They aren’t a good couple (bring out the worst in each other)

4- Really annoyed. They have been together for less than a year.

Post # 10
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m the first to get married out of my best friends.  I don’t feel jealous of people getting engaged, rather it makes me upset if they get engaged after us (last December) and did/will marry before us!  Mainly because if it was possible we would have a short engagement, we totally would have done it!  So far we’ve had 3 of our close friends get engaged/married before us!

Post # 11
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… I haven’t really been jealous of other people getting engaged or married… but I have been a little jealous of their weddings! I have some well-to-do aunts and uncles who just bankrolled their kids’ weddings and I am envious of how easy it was for them. I definitely do NOT want my parents to go into debt for my wedding (or myself)… but its hard not to play the “wouldn’t it be nice if” game. 

Post # 12
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Oh wait!! I totally lied haha. I was jealous once. I had been waiting for a proposal since about May of this year. The path looked clear that I would get engaged soon and we could get married in Fall 2010. Then in June, out of NOWHERE my brother proposed to his girlfriend (of 6 months who no one likes), shocking us all. And he set his date for August 2010. 

I wasn’t jealous that he was getting married before me (he is 8 years older… he couldve gotten married forever ago), but I was jealous that he did it RIGHT before me and kind of stole my thunder there. But, such is life. 

Post # 13
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CorgiTales: Good point about getting jealous over weddings!  We just had one on Saturday in our family and it made my whole day when several people said it was a nice wedding, but ours was at the top of their list for most favorite EVER!  Hopefully we’ll never attend one that makes us jealous, lol 😉

Post # 14
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@lillindy- that is so nice to hear I am sure! I really hope we can throw a nice fun wedding that people enjoy. 

Post # 15
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

my brother and sister had very short courtships – my brother married his wife after 15 months of meeting her, and my sister married her husband after 16 months.  I started dating my Fiance before my sister, and she’s now celebrating her 2 year wedding anniversary. 

I don’t know that i was necessarily jealous but I think they felt they were more serious about getting married then I was – and that bugged me.  Its been 4 years since we started dating and we’ll be getting married in six months, but our priorities were a bit different – we wanted to buy a house, get out of debt and get established before we got married.  My siblings didn’t do that.  I wouldnt do it any other way, but I don’t like that they viewed our relationship as “not serious” because we had different priorities

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