(Closed) Jealousy of those who went before me…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CorgiTales: I’m sure you will!  I think part of the reason people didn’t love with wedding as much was because everyone was cramped in a small space, and more importantly, we were part of the grooms family and our tables were in a far, dark corner of the room where we couldn’t see anything that was happening.  Everyone got to pick their own seats, but somehow by the time we got there everything was full.  And to top it off, the tables only seated 7, what a random number!

Post # 18
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I didn’t have too many opportunities to be jealous since most of his married friends were married already when I met him, and we didn’t have any friend engagements. But I definitely reacted when my step-sister got engaged after six months. I was happy for her for sure, but I definitely had a moment where I was wondering why Fiance wasn’t stepping it up a little more ;).

Post # 19
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I didn’t really get jealous at all…granted, we’re both pretty young so I knew that we would have to wait longer than our older friends.

I think that if we had been a few years older and out of college I would have been wildly jealous of all of my friends getting engaged!!

Post # 20
16 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

I dont know if I would call it jealousy as I tend it turn all that emotion aganist my fiancee. Seems more like anger. Healthy, right? ๐Ÿ™

His sister got engaged and married before us, and met her hubby after we met. And I lost it for a few days! But then I realized we had diferent priorities and wanted to live our lives differently than them, and for that, we had to have a later wedding. It still took a couple of days. But I even admitted to myself, that I wouldnt even had said yes if he had asked at that time!! Emotions!! Arent they streange?? With a life of their own.. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 21
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@Lillindy – oh the joys of comparative weddings. We’re all so sick, aren’t we? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not gonna lie — I had a really hard time when a friend from school got engaged before we did and had been dating her Fiance less time.  I knew the boy was saving up for a ring but at that time it was like ohmygodwhatareyouwaitingfor??!?!??!?!?!  I’m not real proud of my behavior but oh well.  My only REAL regret is that I wish I’d found weddingbee sooner because I could have vented my frustrations to a community of supporters, instead of my mom, my single BFF, or –aaak!– the boy. 

Post # 23
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We had bit of a rival. His cousin and her bf started dating 2 DAYS after we did. It was August when we started dating and LAbor day weekend rolled around and I went to go meet his family down the beach for the first time. Well his cousin also brought her bf to meet the family. We bought our first apartment, they went and bought a house one week later. He proposed on their 1yr anniversary, I got nothing. I didnt even go to the wedding, I was so jealous and angry lol.Then we bought a house and they got pregnant. Its always been a competition. They are now married with 2 babies. We still arent married and have no babies. We have completely different lives and yet we started dating at the same exact time.

I wouldnt change anything though. Seems like they never really got to enjoy their relationship as a couple. They dated for 1 yr, got married, had a baby, had another baby. I am selfish with my FH, I want to spend all the time I can with him before babies and everything else comes along.

I am slightly jealous that she has a family and I dont, but I am grateful for my relationship with my FH.

Post # 24
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh wow, I feel like I’m on a different boat over here.  I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous and that’s saying a lot because all the weddings we’ve been to are of couples who started dating after us.  Part of me thinks it’s because I wasn’t ready to get married yet-I was in school and really wanted a career before settling down. 

@Corgi: I’m with you.  I think most of my jealousy results in those who have their weddings all bankrolled by family.  Fiance and I are paying for the whole shebang and sometimes I too like the play the ‘what if’ game and imagine how much easier life would be.

Post # 25
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Not necessarily jealousy, but i was kind of bitter about the fact that some people flaunted their new/wonderfu/fabulous relationships in front of my face a little intensely while my husband was deployed. It made me feel worse….not only did i not have a ring on my finger, but he wasn’t even around. So yeah maybe a lot jealous…of a lot of things. Insensitivity definitely.

I remember once, i invited a friend and her SO over for dinner and when I turned my back, they were on the couch, and when I turned to face them, they were making out on MY COUCH in MY HOUSE. i was like, “really?” It was supposed to be girls’ night and he just tagged along I guess. Talk about REALLY kicking me when I was down, eH?

Post # 26
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House

Wow, yes!  I had a jealousy scheme, but it only had two levels.

1. Slightly annoyed – the couple had been toegether longer than we had.

2. Ridiculously annoyed – the couple had been together for a shorter time period than we had.

I wanted it so badly, I could taste it.  The jealousy didn’t always result in anger, a lot of times I was just really sad that I could live the wedding planning with them!

Post # 27
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Once we were engaged, it didn’t bother me as much when people got married before us.  I would always feel a little twinge of “I can’t wait for our turn,” but it was more excitement than jealousy.  That said, I did tend to get jealous when people I knew that had been dating a lot shorter of a time than us got engaged/married BEFORE the Dude proposed.  There were times when I just felt like he was moving SO SLOWLY that we were never gonna get there.  What’s funny now is that I can’t really remember any specific instances of jealousy, just a general feeling of impatience.

Post # 28
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@lamb, I’m LOL about being sad about not being able to be a part of the planning…. I feel that way now that I’m married and my wedding is over! ๐Ÿ™‚

Mr. Duff and I were together a long time (8 years) before were were engaged, in that time I had 3 really close friends meet their significant others and then get married (I had 2 children in that time span). We also saw about 10 other couples who had been together a shorter amount of time get married.

I was never really jealous per se, but there were a couple of times when I wondered, “is there something wrong with me or with us?”

Post # 29
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Catholic ceremony, reception at local armory

I definitely felt a little jealous when people who were dating for less time than we were got engaged or married, and with 7 years of us being together at that point, I was basically jealous of every couple we knew who were engaged or married!  I didn’t understand why I was feeling jealous though because I didn’t feel ready to be engaged!  Not that I didn’t want to marry Mr. M, I just felt that we were only 24 and didn’t need to get married yet.  So why the jealousy?  I still don’t know why I felt that way!

Post # 30
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Oh, I was more than a little jealous, although I will say I didn’t expect to be!

When one of FH’s friends got engaged, even though they’d been dating longer than us (but the girl was a year younger), I was so ticked I refused to go to their engagement celebration that night! Talk about a spoiled crazy brat…

Oh well, live and learn, I suppose…

Post # 31
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

i’m still not engaged after 5.5 years (i know it’s coming soon, like really soon) and i’ve been upset, annoyed, and just plain poed over the last year and a half whenever i hear about people i know getting engaged. i agree that the degree of annoyed-ness depends on the circumstances of the engagement or wedding. when my best college friend got engaged last month out of the blue after only being with her boyfriend for 3 years, i cried, especially since she was the one who set my boyfriend and i up. i got pissed when i heard of people who had been with their boyfriends for a year getting married. i got really irked when someone i knew who’s boyfriend is 3 years YOUNGER than her and they’ve only been dating for 3 years got engaged this summer. i realize that my time will come, but all those thoughts of why her and not me run through your head and the longer my boyfriend waits the more depressed i feel about it.

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