Post # 1
So my best friend for the past couple of years whom I met through mutual friend’s of my SO has recently become very difficult. When my SO told her that he was going to propose she tried to talk him out of it, and now ever since that day things between her and I have been… just off. My best friend has been dating her SO for about 6 months longer than me, so I’m not sure if she is being different because she is envious? The past couple of times that I have hung out with my best friend and the rest of our group of friends my best friend has done nothing but talk about what kind of engagement ring she wants or what her future wedding will be like (in extreme detail) and she’s not even engaged yet. But she has no desire to ever talk to me about my wedding.
Is this jealousy? Or does she maybe just have wedding fever herself? I just want her to be supportive of me but I don’t know how to talk to her about this without making it sound like I’m already being a bridezilla!!
Post # 2
Sounds like jealousy, but maybe you should try talking to her? Don’t make it about the wedding — just mention that things are off, and you were wondering if something was off. Maybe she’ll bring up whatever her issues are.
Post # 3
Could be jealousy. You say that she’s been discussing weddings incessantly… Maybe she and her SO were planning to get engaged soon and she feels like you’ve just stolen her thunder.
Post # 4
Without knowing any of you or anything about the relationship, we don’t know why your friend would have tried to talk SO out of proposing. It could be anything from she thinks you are too young, doesn’t think the two of you are in a good time or place in your lives, to not thinking you are a good match. It could be jealousy. If that had ever happened to me, you’d better believe I would say something to her.
Post # 5
weddingmaven: My SO and I have been together for 2 years and lived together with our two dogs for a year and a half. I am 24 and my SO is 25. When she tried to talk him out of proposing she said that “she didn’t want him to make this decision just to make me happy” when he told her that he was proposing because it would make him happy and because he couldn’t imagine his future without me in it she just responded “ok it’s your decision”. Not how I expected her to respond at all 🙁
Post # 6
Caseyjean5248: When my SO told her that he was going to propose she tried to talk him out of it<br /><br />
When she tried to talk him out of proposing she said that “she didn’t want him to make this decision just to make me happy” <br /><br /><br />
Seriously?! I’m thinking the problem here is NOT that you need to figure out whether she’s jealous vs. whether you’re overreacting.
The problem is that you are referring to her as your “best friend” in your opening sentence.
EX-best friend, dear. EX!
Post # 7
Wow, sounds really jealous to me. I wouldn’t ask her to be in your bridal party if I were you if she’s going to treat your wedding like that, even if she is your “best friend.”
Post # 8
Caseyjean5248: I’m always an advocate of focusing on things you can change rather than things you can’t. In this case, you can control your own feelings and actions, and you can’t control the things your best friends say/does.
Don’t take it personal. Her actions say everything about her, and nothing about you. Don’t let her negativity bother you. Even if she’s jealous, it’s not like you’re going to call off the engagement to make her feel better. So focus your time/energy elsewhere 😀
Post # 9
Caseyjean5248: It sounds to me like there may be something more to this story. Either way, your friend crossed a big line.