(Closed) Jealousy over long hair?

posted 8 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Coud you just do the extensions for the wedding day? That way you don’t have long hair in “normal” life.

Did you tell him you wanted long hair for the wedding or just that you wanted long hair in general?

If its a huge deal that causes lots of problems than I would probably just wear it short to make your FH happy but if it were my hair I’d do whatever the hell I wanted to it, its just hair.

Post # 4
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m am SO sorry, but I don’t understand. Your fiance is jealous of what/who when you have long hair?

Are you trying to say that because it was long with your ex’s he’s reminded of them and is jealous of them?

 

Post # 5
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t know that having long hair necessarily gives you more options.  There are so many short and medium length styles and variations.  Add in the veil/flower/hairpiece, and you have tons of ideas to choose from! 

I had long hair most of my life, but I chopped it short right before my fiance and I met.  For our wedding, I briefly considered growing it out because I had this view of the traditional long-haired bride and was also considering options.  When I mentioned it, he said that I look so different with long hair in pictures that sometimes he barely recognizes me.  He loves what he’s used to – short hair.  I realized it makes more sense to look like me now than me 5 years ago or some idealized “bride” vision in my head.

Post # 6
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have really long hair, but when I first met my Fiance it was shoulder length.  He has mentioned a few times that he really liked it when we first met and it was shorter, but I love it long and thats how I am going to keep it!  If you want long hair for your wedding then you should have long hair for your wedding….and everyday for that matter if thats what you want.  he will come around and get used to it!

Post # 8
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m with ItalianLady. I don’t really get what he’s jealous of, nor why it matters? Does this mean you can never grow your hair out at any point in your life if you marry him? I’m not trying to be harsh, but really this makes no sense to me.

Fiance has seen me with short hair, long hair, medium length hair, and he is fine with all of them. It’s not his hair, it’s mine. Just like this is your hair. If you WANT it long, then by all means grow it out. If you DON’T want it long, then do extensions or pick a different hairstyle.

Post # 9
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: I actually have the opposite problem! My fiance likes my hair longer and I’ve been growing it out to have options for my wedding. But I keep watching as friends and co-workers chop their hair off and I’m super jealous of their cute haircuts!

I hate keeping my hair long because it’s very fine/thin so unless it’s short with lots of layers, I feel like it just hangs there limply and looks disgusting. 🙁

 

ETA: Probably should have read the whole post before replying. It’s a little weird that HE’s jealous but we all have our issues.

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@SweetRose2011:

Is he in counselling? Everyone gets twinges of jealousy but this is kinda extreme. I’m sorry, I know that’s not the point of your post but it’s just so bizzare for him to be jealous of your hair.

And why just your hair? That’s the bizzare part. Anyway, I’m sorry.

Post # 11
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

First, the Fiance obviously loves you but has a lot of maturing to do. I used to do things like that when I was about 18. “Let’s not go that restaurant because you went there with your ex”. Was silly and I grew out of it. Although I’ve never heard of hair jealousy. You also looked at other people with your eyes, kissed them with your lips…Do you have to change all of them? Please don’t let him dictate your looks with this nonsense and talk some sense into him. Sometimes people have to be called out for how ridiculous and immature they’re being for them to just shake it off.

For the wedding I think extensions are a great idea. I wore them and loved them. You can check out the beauty threads for other suggestions and pics.

Post # 12
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I say grow it out and just wear it in a ponytail once it starts to get long. Honestly he isnt going to break up with you for having long hair so that you can have an updo for your wedding day! And if he does then he is not the right person for you!

Post # 14
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Why don’t you just grow it out a little bit? Not sure how short it is now, but that may be a good way to compromise. I want to wear my hair up for the wedding but my Fiance loves my hair down, so I will wear it that way for him. After all, he doesn’t see my dress or really have any other decisions on what I wear, I figured I would do this for him!

Post # 15
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am soooo confused… 🙁

I say just grow it out for the wedding since that is what YOU want and then after cut it if it is such a big deal!

Post # 16
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I agree with seeing if there is a compromise that can be reached, like length or style that would make him more comfortable.

Jealousy is something that has to be worked through, and maybe you can make him see that none of your exes/people from your past have seen you looking like a beautiful bride with long hair.

In the end, you have to decide what you feel best doing. I know that when my boyfriend and I disagree about appearance things, there are dealbreakers and then there are things that I don’t mind letting him have. My boyfriend really likes long hair, and I love both long and short, so I let him have me with long hair. If having short hair on your wedding day is going to make you uncomfortable, explain that to him. Or are you going to be spending a lot of time worrying that he’s not enjoying you on your day together?

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