(Closed) Jealousy…. regular bee undercover

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow. That sounds really immature on her part. I sure hope they are both prepared to be grown ups, because marriage won’t be a walk in the park….I’m not sure how you can get over it…I guess just do your best to vent and then suck it up and know that you are being the more mature one?

Post # 4
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Couple #1 is broke, doesnt have a stable job, may be rushing into things.

Couple #2 has been together for 6 years, responsibily saving for their wedding.

Who sounds like the one “winning” the game of life here….?

Post # 6
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

At least she didn’t choose to get married the same month, since it’s supposedly her dream month!

Post # 8
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@pinkshoes:  I agree!

 

I had my Maid/Matron of Honor of 18 years do something like this. (way to long of story and most have read it on the BEE LOL)  You just have to realize any marriage for the wrong reasons does not last and the ones that do last are not real.  I would not expect this kind of behavior to stop to be honest. It could go beyond your weddings so that is something to sink in considering you will be part of this family. 

 

My advice:

Don’t tell her one thing about your wedding plans…this is grave advise I assure you! LOL

Don’t let her anything from dress, dress type, themes, colors, NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO wedding band info either.

These type people will still every aspect of what you want to do it first to one up you.  This is the most vital info I can give you with his kind of girl. 

Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Be happy with your wedding, hers may not last…

Post # 10
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think four months is enough time in between but it’s pretty clear that she’s a silly girl and has some growing up to do.

Post # 11
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just be happy that she will also be the first to get divorced 😉

 

Man… I even FELT mean writing that. But seriously… she seems so immature. If you are getting married to “win” you are going to have serious problems, especially since they are not stable in any way. Maybe she will recognize this closer to her day.

Post # 12
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When someone is clearly being competitive and a bit of a BEE-Word it’s hard to to feel annoyed/jealous/angry etc. She’s obviously immature and I would just ignore her.

I’ve been with my Fiance for 5 1/2 years, engaged for 6 months. My brother and his girlfriend of 1 year just got engaged on Saturday and I am so excited for them, even though they are racing to Vegas to get married this June I don’t care. I can’t wait!

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i totally agree with pinkshoes on this one.  You’re already ahead in life.  If she wants to be a child, all the power to her.  Don’t let it bother you, or you are giving away your personal power!

Post # 14
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When I have thoughts like that, I just think about how I probably won’t even remember any of these things years from now. My friends who have been married 3 years before me will have gotten “married around the same time” as me when I look back 25 or 50 years from now. The only thing that matters is that your union has staying power. If being the first to get married means something to her…ok she can have that. In the end, it’s so small of a feat, actually not even a feat at all.

Post # 15
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think the best thing that you can do is ignore her. Turn it into an inside joke with your Fiance and carry on.

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I completely understand!  My sister got engaged to her boyfriend 3 months after I got engaged, even though she had been having a rocky relationship with him and got married 6 months after getting engaged.  My Fiance and I are having a 16 month engagement so that we could have time to plan and save.  

At first, I was really upset and jealous because I felt like she was “stealing my thunder”, but then I realized that I just had to be happy for her because it was what she wanted.  In the end, I was so happy that she got married before mine because then I could see things that I didn’t like, or see things that I wanted.  

In your case, I would look at it the same way, even though your weddings are going to be extremely different, think of it as everyone can go to her wedding as a “warm up” and go to yours as the “grand finale”!! 🙂 

She sounds extremely immature, selfish and jealous (I deal with a Future Sister-In-Law just like her), so just let it roll off your back.  Try to be kind, because in the end, no one can say anything about you except for how nice you have been.

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