(Closed) jealousy….ugh

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow does he happen to have problems with depression?  The comment about not caring about if he dies and you wouldn’t either are worrisome.  Anyway, I think you two need to have a talk, he completely overreacted but if you talk to him maybe he has a reason for that from his past.

Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant

That sounds pretty extreme.  It sounds like he may be holding onto something.  It worries me to hear that he throws things when he’s upset and talks about death.  Is this new behavior or pretty common?

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@rlsh86:

You aren’t wrong to be worried. The throwing things, the unreasonable and baseless jealousy, and the “i wouldn’t have even cared if i did die, and i doubt you would too,” are all classic signs of abusive behavior. He’s trying to manipulate and control you, and that is NOT RIGHT.

Especially the unreasonable overreaction to the fact that you were TALKING to a FRIEND.  That is a normal thing to do. People talk to people at parties.  Jesus.

If he won’t see a counselor with you, please consider going on your own. This is not normal or healthy behavior on his part.

Here is a number you can call, just to talk about what’s been going on:

http://www.thehotline.org/

Post # 7
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

This sounds like a pretty major problem. He needs to work our these trust issues with you. Has he been cheated on before? 

Also, throwing things around the room and saying you probably wouldn’t care if he died are big red flags to me. I think maybe you should consider counselling.

Post # 8
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

It seems like there may be some underlying jealousy issues. This isn’t something people normally develope overnight. My SO has a temper issue sometimes to and we have had COUNTLESS talks about it. He cannot be walking away from you like that and he should not be walking home 8 miles. It is about the two of you now and he can’t throw a temper tantrum and endanger himself recklessly that way.

Ask him to explain why he flew off the handle that way and why he didn’t trust you. Figure out what caused him to lose it and ask him to rectify the situation. Throwing things is also not healthy or normal and if I were you I would be having him quit that NOW! What if something he thew hit you? How would that make you feel?

Post # 10
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@rlsh86: it happening over and over again with him promising it’ll never happen again is a classic pattern of abuse! I would be scared to be with someone who can’t trust me enough to have basic human friendships that don’t threaten anything. Just…wow. I have 100% blind trust in my husband, and he in me, and I can’t envision staying in a relationship where this happened. Mutual respect is the #1 core foundation of a healthy relationship.

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@rlsh86:

His actions are speaking louder than his words, unfortunately. 

Sending you huge hugs.  You have done nothing wrong.  You do not deserve to be treated this way.  Good luck finding your path.

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