Post # 1
Im recently engaged and we picked out a lovely venue. I’m from England where weddings are a formal affair, everyone makes a big effort to dress up the women wear their dresses and some with their formal hats and all the men are suited and booted. Which I love! Because it’s not every day you have a reason to dress up and it’s the couples special day, they have spent thousands to make sure you have a great day the main wedding party all dressed up – but some guest decide to wear jeans? As you would if you were just going to the grocery store?
My point it my fiancé is from the mid west here in the US (we live in South Carolina) from a small country town and it seems to be the norm there. I saw photos of his buddies wedding and almost 90% of the guys had regular old jeans and tshirt some button up shirts. He’s already agreed that him and his groomsmen will wear suits. And I’m trying to be fair, even if they wear cream long khaki and a nice buttoned up shirt or simply put on a pair of slacks and shirt, not even a tie – just not jeans!!! I was thinking of writing “semi-formal” on the invite to drop the hint but I’m so afraid I’ll come off snobby or pretentious to his family and friends or insult them? I’m far from snobby but just want them to meet me on half way point and look back on my wedding photos and not think I’m at the annual BBQ.
– Rant over!!!
Post # 2
I may be biased because i’m also from the Midwest, but I don’t think jeans at a wedding are so horrible as long as their shirts are formal. Trust me, no one wears button-up shirts to a BBQ. Those are much less formal.
My wedding is planned for May 2018 and my fiancé and all of our groomsmen will be wearing Stetson jeans, “cowboy” boots, button-up shirts, vests, and ties. They’re not plain old beat up work jeans, they’re typically a little nicer than that. Given our theme is pretty rustic, i don’t see a problem with the guests wearing jeans and boots as well.
I understand the culture gap, but i think it should be accommodated for both sides. Maybe people in his family don’t have slacks but they have “nice jeans”? That’s very common in the rural midwest
Post # 3
I think it is fine to put “semi-formal” on the invitation, although someone might still wear jeans.
I’m going to a wedding soon in the Midwest and the dress is “formal.” I’m going to have to go shopping because I don’t own anything formal.
I would think that most people would at least be able to afford a pair of khakis and a decent shirt.
Post # 4
Maybe something like “cocktail attire” would get the point across?
Post # 5
This is definitely a cultural gap. I have only gone to weddings in coastal cities and novody wears jeans; it’d be a faux pas. Nobody I know is allowed to wear jeans to work, and you generally dress better for a wedding than you do for work.
Guys around here wear button-up shirts and nice jeans if we are going for a picnic at the park or a family BBQ.
Post # 6
IMO jeans at a wedding is one small step from ‘dress hoodie’ lol
unless it’s a truly casual wedding (like a backyard BBQ) and the bride and groom have specifically said they’re fine with jeans, otherwise I don’t think it’s asking too much to dress up (and this can be done within any budget, it’s more about effort than cost)
Post # 7
Semi-formal is fine. It honestly depends more on the venue than anything. There’s a popular venue in my area on a horse farm, you’d have a hard time convincing some of our friend’s and SOs to come out in slacks or suits.
Post # 8
I live in the midwest, and I have recurring nightmares about people showing up to my wedding in jeans. I CANNOT EVEN with jeans at weddings. For PP, it seems to fit her and her fiance’s vision and venue so that’s fine…but if it’s not your vision, then that’s what matters.
What’s the venue like? Mine is at a ballroom, so I hope that that gives people the hint. I’ll probably also mention a dress code on the website, but the people I’m worried about wearing jeans aren’t the type to make a connection between the type of venue and what to wear, or to check a website lol.
Post # 9
Where I’m from, jeans are very unusual at a wedding. I would specify in the invitation the level of formality you would like – black tie/cocktail, whichever. It wouldn’t guarantee no jeans, but it might help.
Post # 10
I love dressing up, too, and would never wear jeans to a wedding. That being said, you can’t control what people wear, even to your wedding, nor should you try to. Wear a fabulous dress, throw a wonderful reception and let people be who they are — even if that means jeans. It will be a lot less stressful for everyone.
Post # 11
I’m in the midwest as well (Minneapolis), and jeans are a huge no-no amongst my group. I think it’s a social circle thing. I couldn’t fathom seeing people in denim at weddings. Most of us ladies wear long gowns and men suits.
Post # 12
I think it’s fine to put semi formal. Also, if your invites are fancy, the guests will take note.
Post # 13
Honestly?This whole thing is a waste of your energy and time. Besides the fact that it is not appropriate to put a dress code other than “black tie” on an invitation, I guarantee that anyone who would wear jeans to a wedding, thinks that their good or dress jeans are semi-formal.
You need to accept that cultures are different and that people aren’t going to live up to your vision.
Post # 14
I’ve only attended one wedding where guests wore jeans and I felt incredibly overdressed. Can’t your Fiance and his family subtly spread the word about dress code? Don’t put it on the invitation and don’t judge if some people who help you celebrate your day aren’t dressed exactly as you’d like.
Post # 15
I’m in Northern California and I’ve seen plenty of men in jeans at weddings. Women seem to know better.