(Closed) Jeans at a wedding – no.

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
131 posts
Blushing bee

I may be biased because i’m also from the Midwest, but I don’t think jeans at a wedding are so horrible as long as their shirts are formal. Trust me, no one wears button-up shirts to a BBQ. Those are much less formal. 

My wedding is planned for May 2018 and my fiancé and all of our groomsmen will be wearing Stetson jeans, “cowboy” boots, button-up shirts, vests, and ties. They’re not plain old beat up work jeans, they’re typically a little nicer than that. Given our theme is pretty rustic, i don’t see a problem with the guests wearing jeans and boots as well. 

I understand the culture gap, but i think it should be accommodated for both sides. Maybe people in his family don’t have slacks but they have “nice jeans”? That’s very common in the rural midwest 

Post # 3
3503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think it is fine to put “semi-formal” on the invitation, although someone might still wear jeans. 

I’m going to a wedding soon in the Midwest and the dress is “formal.” I’m going to have to go shopping because I don’t own anything formal. 

I would think that most people would at least be able to afford a pair of khakis and a decent shirt. 

Post # 4
311 posts
Helper bee

Maybe something like “cocktail attire” would get the point across?

Post # 5
1506 posts
Bumble bee

This is definitely a cultural gap. I have only gone to weddings in coastal cities and novody wears jeans; it’d be a faux pas. Nobody I know is allowed to wear jeans to work, and you generally dress better for a wedding than you do for work. 

Guys around here wear button-up shirts and nice jeans if we are going for a picnic at the park or a family BBQ. 

Post # 6
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

IMO jeans at a wedding is one small step from ‘dress hoodie’ lol

unless it’s a truly casual wedding (like a backyard BBQ) and the bride and groom have specifically said they’re fine with jeans, otherwise I don’t think it’s asking too much to dress up (and this can be done within any budget, it’s more about effort than cost)

Post # 7
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Semi-formal is fine. It honestly depends more on the venue than anything. There’s a popular venue in my area on a horse farm, you’d have a hard time convincing some of our friend’s and SOs to come out in slacks or suits. 

Post # 8
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I live in the midwest, and I have recurring nightmares about people showing up to my wedding in jeans. I CANNOT EVEN with jeans at weddings. For PP, it seems to fit her and her fiance’s vision and venue so that’s fine…but if it’s not your vision, then that’s what matters. 

What’s the venue like? Mine is at a ballroom, so I hope that that gives people the hint. I’ll probably also mention a dress code on the website, but the people I’m worried about wearing jeans aren’t the type to make a connection between the type of venue and what to wear, or to check a website lol. 


Post # 9
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Where I’m from, jeans are very unusual at a wedding. I would specify in the invitation the level of formality you would like – black tie/cocktail, whichever. It wouldn’t guarantee no jeans, but it might help.

Post # 10
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I love dressing up, too, and would never wear jeans to a wedding. That being said, you can’t control what people wear, even to your wedding, nor should you try to. Wear a fabulous dress, throw a wonderful reception and let people be who they are — even if that means jeans. It will be a lot less stressful for everyone.

Post # 11
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in the midwest as well (Minneapolis), and jeans are a huge no-no amongst my group. I think it’s a social circle thing. I couldn’t fathom seeing people in denim at weddings. Most of us ladies wear long gowns and men suits.

Post # 12
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think it’s fine to put semi formal. Also, if your invites are fancy, the guests will take note.

Post # 13
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly?This whole thing is a waste of your energy and time. Besides the fact that it is not appropriate to put a dress code other than “black tie” on an invitation, I guarantee that anyone who would wear jeans to a wedding, thinks that their good or dress jeans are semi-formal.
You need to accept that cultures are different and that people aren’t going to live up to your vision.

Post # 14
7903 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’ve only attended one wedding where guests wore jeans and I felt incredibly overdressed. Can’t your Fiance and his family subtly spread the word about dress code? Don’t put it on the invitation and don’t judge if some people who help you celebrate your day aren’t dressed exactly as you’d like. 

Post # 15
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m in Northern California and I’ve seen plenty of men in jeans at weddings. Women seem to know better. 

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