(Closed) Jeans at a wedding – no.

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’d put it on the invitation. I always find it helpful to know what the expectation is. And I suggest, I would find this very helpful.

Post # 17
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

I am from the midwest and I have never seen jeans at a wedding, except for once, but it WAS literally a backyard barbacue and they put causal on the invites.

I don’t think it would be wrong to put semi formal on the invitations but I do think that people would think it was okay to wear nice jeans based off of that. So I am not sure that would really fix the problem.

If you want everyone to look nice I would suggest cocktail attire, instead of semi formal.

Post # 18
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m gonna agree with the pp who said this isn’t worth your time to try and fight it. You can put whatever you want on the invitation, but it doesn’t mean your guests are going to understand you mean it as “no jeans.” 

Maybe come to terms with the fact that some guests will be in jeans, and since that doesn’t directly effect anything at your wedding, let it go. 

Post # 19
Member
3593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think it’s a good idea to put “attire” on the invitation or website. I prefer being able to look up what the attire is rather than trying to guess or ask around. I’d never wear jeans at a wedding (and I lived in the Midwest for 10 years). 

Post # 20
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

People who wear jeans to weddings think ‘semi formal’ means jeans LOL. Good luck with that one. 

Post # 21
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

If you write semi-formal they will definitely wear jeans. I would suggest writing Formal or Black Tie Optional. You will never know what people are going to wear. If you have a web site put a link on there that explains what to wear. You can add some pictures. Or you can send an email one or two months before the wedding that includes this information.

We told our guests that our wedding would be black tie optional but there was still a guest with a plaid shirt. 

Post # 22
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m in the south, my dad literally wore starched black jeans to walk me down the aisle. Hahaha

I’d say maybe cocktail attire? Usually I would say Sunday best but in the south where i’m from that might still get you jeans.

Post # 23
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee

I would be so horrified if I saw jeans at a wedding. What. 

Post # 24
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

I’m from the midwest and have never seen jeans at a wedding… I think specifying that its semi formal or cocktail attire is no big deal.

Post # 25
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Put it on the invitation, but then let it go. People will dress how they want, and no amount of stress on your part is gonna change it.

Post # 26
Member
843 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
julies1949 :  I have to agree with this poster. While I get why it is upsetting, worrying about it is not going to change the way people are. My sister’s wedding was a black-tie affair at the nicest resort in our southwestern city. Half of our family are ranchers, and they showed up in jeans and nice button down shirts and their boots. Our dad did not go the rancher route, so my immediate family’s style is not that way at all (ie no cowgirl boots for my sister under her dress or any DIY burlap touches), but luckily my sister was busy enjoying everything else that I don’t know if she even noticed.

Post # 27
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2020 - Hampton, VA

Girl, I’d write that it is semi-formal smack dab in the middle of my invitation! It also depends on your venue and the time of the event. My friend recently got married at a vineyard at 5pm so I wore a chiffon gown. I was one of the more formal guests, but I didn’t see one pair of jeans on anyone. 

Post # 28
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

You can indicate it in your invitation but I realized that most people don’t actually read the invitation in great detail.  I had people asking me basic questions about the wedding that were easily and clearly laid out.  Anywho, I indicated cocktail attire on my invitation and I still had a few individuals who showed up in jeans and I’m on the west coast.  Also had a cousin show up half naked like she was going to a night club.  Fix it, Jesus.

Post # 29
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

My biggest issue would be if my groom wanted to wed me wearing Jeans (and trust me, he tried and got nixed!) But I do get where you are coming from. That would be perfectly acceptable to me for a rustic cowboy theme, or a barn wedding, but you would think most people would get the hint of the attire by the location of the event. A grand ballroom or historic hotel screams anything but jeans.

On that same note – we recently went to a wedding, and it was at a VERY nice event center, with a gorgeous outdoor pavilion and garden for the wedding. Total cost was approx. 20k and the groom, best man, groomsmen AND father of the bride wore jeans! It did look a little off to me because everyone else was wearing dress clothes, gowns and slacks. 

My vote is for “cocktail attire” on the invitations and hope for the best. 

 

Post # 30
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do people really think semi-formal includes denim? Genuinely curious. Without looking it up, I take semi-formal as involving a cocktail dress for the ladies, and for the men, jacket and matching slacks, maybe no tie, or a more fun button down shirt under the jacket but still a tie. 

Maybe I’m wrong though?

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