(Closed) Jeans at a wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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sparkles1986:  It really depends on the atmosphere of the wedding and the tastes of the couple.  For example, if I had guests NOT wearing jeans or sundresses at my wedding they would have looked out of place.  

My SIL actually wore a white and gold tanktop and white shorts and my older brother was super offended by it, becuase she was “wearing white” to a wedding.  Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about it! I’m pretty sure no one mistook her for the bride, so we’re all good in my opinion.  But it just depends, I know not everyone feels the way I do about such things. 

Post # 77
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

One guy wore jeans to our wedding.  Didn’t bring a gift either.  We had him forcibly removed before cake.  …I wish we lived in a world where I didn’t have to specify that last part is a joke.

But in all seriousness, if he’d been in a situation that made him unable to buy a suit (or gift for that matter) I’d have not thought twice about it.  The fact that he brags constantly about how much money he makes made it a little WTF-ish.  I look forward to wearing my nicest pair of yoga pants to his wedding.

Post # 78
2738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

Wearing jeans to a wedding is extremely tacky and it shows a lack of class.

Post # 79
200 posts
Helper bee

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rosesandpeonies:  Well… actually I don’t think so :-/  Your explanation seemeded to focus a lot on why it is respectful to not dress in revealing outfits. I do actually see that as being distasteful, but it still doesn’t really bother me to see on others..maybe I haven’t been around it as much?   Idk. All I know is I dont’ feel comfortable dressing in revealing clothing, for whatever reason.

When I asked the question, I was more picturing jeans and a tshirt. I wear jeans because they’re what I’m most comfortable in and they’re practical.  But I still put effort into my look, even in jeans! So the perception that I don’t care lies in the mind of the person judging. But even if I didn’t care about my look, I might still care a lot about the bride’s wedding, and find other ways to show her. I do wear a dress to a wedding but I don’t associate it with respect.

I know some places of worship accept casual clothing without judgement. I probably wouldn’t belong to one that asked me to dress a certain way because it would make me question the values.  Again, why is it respectful to put extra effort into making it *appear* that you care…why not put that effort into other things, like actually caring and helping and loving?

In work places many years ago, dress codes were a lot more strict, and they’ve gradually become looser and looser. I’m not advocating wearing revealing clothing- I’m just saying women don’t have to wear dresses anymore, and even nice looking jeans are acceptable in some respectable workplaces. Women used to have to get dressed up just to leave the house…We follow “rules” that society puts in place but then we slowly question why we were ever following them to begin with.  To me, this (that it’s acceptable for us to become more relaxed in the way we dress) is a sign that many people aren’t as offended anymore by the way people dress. To me it’s progress because it shows that we are beginning to focus on more important things.

Also,I don’t associate men with being pigs..?

I DO think it’s fun to dress up sometimes, though! And I do for weddings. I enjoy trying to look nice and clean and polished even if only in jeans and a t-shirt. People have different ways of expressing their own best version of themselves. It’s nice if other people want to dress up, but it seems vain to judge others for your outward appearance. If you think that the way I dress means that I don’t care, that is just all in your head. I think dressing up is something that’s fun, but I don’t associate it with respect.  

Just as a side note, I don’t even remember what the original poster posted about because it was a while ago. This is just a response to you 🙂

Post # 80
2381 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ


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rosesandpeonies:  I so agree with your statement that how we dress is a form of behavior, a way of expressing who we are.

But if society is going to go the way of jeans & a T shirt being acceptable dress anywhere, so be it. It reminds me of the Dystopian type of society where everyone wears the same thing, like the Mao coat in Communist China.

I will be looking for a job someday, so I guess I can just roll out of bed and grab the first thing out of the floor of the closet.

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