Etiquette Snob here… lol
Ok the guy hasn’t got a clue…
OR he does and has decided he wishes to INTENTIONALLY ANNOY YOU AS A COUPLE
Jealous perhaps that you two are getting married, happy (spending money on a Wedding)… whatever
The issue(s) are clearly his.
And so therefore he’d be making a very obvious CHOICE to mess with Your Plans… and that is indeed RUDE & disrespectful
More so if your Fiance (his Brother) has spoken to him about the issue and what would be “the right thing to do” in this situation.
So at this point… he’s been told. Whatever he does now is very much a CONSCIOUS CHOICE
What you do next is YOUR CHOICE…
You could do precisely what he’s put out there (what a moochy / passive agressive way to manage to get a pair of dress pants, BTW):
“Feel free to go shopping for me. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you”
In truth it wouldn’t be the first time that a Couple has had to ante up for clothing for someone coming to a Wedding
As I see it you can do THAT… OR
You limit the photos he is in. Nothing wrong with that, afterall YOU ARE PAYING THE FREIGHT on those.
So ONE Family Photo with him… and then you are done (with as few or as many people in it as you decide)**
Just organize the rest of your Family Photos to feature others, without him.
To be totally honest, most of your other Family Members will NEVER notice that you are having Photos taken without him
(ie Couple & Bride’s Parents – Couple & Groom’s Parents – Couple with Both Parents etc)
Hope this helps,
** IF you go this route, you’ll want to give some thought to WHICH Photo you’ll do… and WHO ELSE will be in it. Will it be ALL Your Guests at the Wedding ? Just the Groom’s Immediate Family… Just the Groom & his Brother… or something else ?