- 1 year ago
- Wedding: May 2017
I know that some of you thought I was trolling last year when I posted about my husband and his work colleague, but for those who believe that I was telling the truth, I wanted to provide you with a brief update. I’m not asking for comments on whether I did the wrong or right thing, but I see that there was a whole other thread that resulted from this. Here is the information I can provide:
For the past year, things were going so-so. I eventually changed my attitude about everything, and maybe one could say I sort of numbed myself to the situation as a whole. Husband got rid of Facebook and Facebook messenger off his phone, but he does still chat with her almost daily in the evenings. I know how bad that sounds still, but compared to what he was doing (which was in the mornings and up until as late as midnight, this is improvement. He probably stops his chats with her around 9:00/9:30 now. They are going to another conference about 2 1/2 hours away from where we live, but they’ll be presenting with another woman (I trust this other woman.) They’re carpooling together in June. Am I happy about them doing another conference presentation? No, but having the third person there helps to ease my mind on the topic. He has gone out in group settings with her a few times over the past year, but never 1:1 unless it was during the day for a work-related lunch meeting or something.
In the last year, I’ve been focusing on myself a lot more. There was a set-back in October when I tore my ACL and my meniscus playing soccer, but I’m back to running and have had a really good exercise partner and just a fun friend that I’ve become close to who I can talk to about a lot of this stuff. It’s helped a lot, honestly, as they’re able to understand and, to some degree, relate. I’m down to a weight I’m extremely happy with, I have definition in my muscles, I’ve never felt healthier. I’m not saying I’m ignoring my husband while doing this, but I’ve decided to put myself (and of course, our daughter, who is almost 3) first. I also got a lot of flack for wanting to celebrate Mother’s Day just as a couples’ day with my husband. Since I worked on Mother’s Day (Sunday….which I have to work again this year,) I took the following day off. I am going to be doing the same thing this year, but I’ll be taking it a step further and booked myself a hotel room for Friday-Saturday. Then I’ll spend most of Saturday with my husband and our girl. It’s kind of a sweeping it under the rug approach, but I rarely, if ever, hear about this colleague anymore. I honestly don’t hear a lot about my husband’s work days anymore. We have our happy moments, and I’d say overall, I’m content-happy in our marriage, but it’s taken a lot of work for me to get to this point. When we’re in the presence of our girl, she sees us holding hands, cuddling, and kissing. It is not all for show, either, as we do those things genuinely. Jen is still a sore spot for me, and I believe that’s why my husband no longer talks about work. She’s such an integral part of his day (they office right next to one another, they have many meetings each week together, they have joint projects,) it would probably only make me feel worse to hear about his days most of the time.
That is the gist of the update. I’m happy to answer any questions about any of this. I know it’s not the update a lot of you were probably wanting to hear, but hopefully you’ll at least appreciate the update.
(I’m not sure why it says “Wedding Date May 2017.” I was married in 2011.)