"Jen" the Work Wife Update — one year later (brief update)

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 137
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

[comment removed for violating TOS]

 

Post # 138
Member
11647 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Hey everyone,

getting alerts on this thread. 

Do not call OP a troll or post cute troll pictures or reference bridges. Yes, that is in the TOS you agreed to when you started posting here. 

Just STAHHHHPPPP. 

Post # 139
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

 

Well, well… this thread has been a Godsend for me for totally different reasons. I am the one who initiated the thread about ‘SO getting ready to cheat?’

I just read every single post on this thread and it has given me valuable insight on to how my life could potentially turn out should I continue to stay with SO. I don’t want to be in OPs shoes. Just reading the update and getting to know the story made my spine shiver and I got so sad! I feel that if I try to talk myself out of breaking up, then I will very likely get more and more weak because I would start losing self-esteem at an alarming rate. And once it’s gone, that’s it… SO can say/do anything he wants to me and there will be none the wiser. I’ll be like OP… the walking dead[wife]. THANK GOD, I am not married to this guy yet! 

Thank you OP for making this thread. I know the ‘thanks’ doesn’t sound genuine, but believe me, it is. You have opened my eyes EVEN MORE to what the bees have been telling me.

I feel scared of not being able to find someone as ‘good’ (haha…) as my current SO in terms of a man who takes care of my son well, can provide us financial and emotional stability, etc. without being a ‘lite-cheater’ or a full blown cheater. But after reading this scary thread, I am willing to take my chances.

Post # 140
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee

you know what, not every marriage is a fairytale. not every marriage is an epic romance. some are more businesslike, some are more friendships, some involve willfull ignorance. everything is a choice and as long as you’ve made yours with eyes wide open, who am i to judge? 

Post # 141
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee

queenie8119 :  aww, I’m so happy for you that you’ve had this realization! Just when I thought that no good could *possibly* come out of this clusterfuck in which OP is now a willing participant…I truly wish you the best moving forward ❤️

Post # 143
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

wifeconflicted :  Re-read your original thread on here. https://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/husband-and-work-wife/

Maybe if you re-visit the torment you went through you’ll grow a conscience and stop hurting this poor woman whose husband you’re using as a substitute for your own. 

You’re feeling pretty good about yourself now- your weight is down, you’re feeling fit and enjoying the company of your new friend. Only his wife isn’t feeling so good about herself, she’s in ill health, she’s in pain, she’s depressed, she’s put on weight. And her husband is in the company of someone fitter and healthier, someone in a position to be more ‘fun’ and do things she can’t do with him. 

Every time you look forward to being with him, his wife is undoubtedly upset/worried/insecure about it, much the same way you used to be when you knew your husband wouid be with Jen. How the FUCK can you turn around and blithely do it to someone else?!?! You KNOW how awful this feels. Imagine if, when you wrote your thread last year, in addition to what you went through, you had to deal with being disabled and depressed and in pain on top of it? 

You actually ended up  in therapy over this. Can you really turn a blind eye to putting a vulnerable woman through what you went through? For being the cause of her pain? You seem terribly good at sweeping things under the carpet. 

Your actions aren’t just selfish, they’re downright cruel. Shame on you. 

Post # 144
Member
10695 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

RobbieAndJuliahaha :  

Once again, Bee, I salute both your intestinal fortitude for slogging through all of OP’s muck and your remarkable ability to distill it down to a few concise, yet perfectly accurate sentences.  It’s a gift.  Promise you’ll use it only for good.

Post # 145
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2019

wifeconflicted :  this is crazy. Just get a divorce and find a man who will love you and be loyal. And maybe consider therapy! Takes pretty low self esteem to put up with what you’ve put up with. 

Post # 146
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

go find a single/available man who to fill your emotional void – i really don’t care if you do that to your current husband, but to be using a married man who’s wife isnt aware of this process is a NO GO. Seriously, each relationship can make their own rules – yall want to open it up then go for it. but just dont hurt another person in the process. 

makes you just as bad as him. 

PS: your poor daughter is going to end up in shitty relationships bc she’ll grow up watching her mother accept being treated that way.

 

Post # 147
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

wifeconflicted :  uuuuugh. Breaks my heart. & yes, as some have said, I’d be careful not to turn into the JEN you previously posted about. It just baffles me that some women think its ok to carry on with another woman’s husband/bf/SO. Not judging at all, I know it’s totally a bro relationship with you & Mr. Workout, & I know you’ve been thru sooo much, & I feel for you but, man. If everyone would just keep their hands to themselves, we’d ALL be happy. You should meet his wife, otherwise… you’re basically Jen at this point. Also… not mentioning he was a man to begin with kiiiiiiinda hints that you yourself know it’s “inappropriate”… ya know?

Post # 148
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

slomotion :  Omg i laughed so hard at this gif lmaoooo. I’m dead… for your gif, & this update 🙁

Post # 150
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee

Unfortunately what you’re proposing is what I’ve seen people in affairs do that I like to call “gaslighting their partners”. 

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