I feel that a lot of those things in the list don’t apply. We are not in frequent contact when we’re not together. Like I said, the last time I talked to him, which was very brief, was last Saturday (almost a week ago,) but that’s pretty typical for us to go a week or more without touching base.
As far as personal relationship topics, I haven’t complained about my husband to him, nor has he about his wife in a very long time. We haven’t brought up negative things about our relationships for months, literally. I think I’ve mentioned in the past that the most we ask about each other’s spouses is just how are things going, but our answers are always pretty matter-of-fact.
We don’t spend a lot of time together by any means.
He does not occupy my thoughts, and it’s doubtful that I occupy his. We both have families and are relatively busy with work and home stuff. The only reason I know that neither of us would leave our marriages is because early on when we were first talking (this was back in September, I think,) I just wanted him to be completely clear where I stood with regards to our then-new friendship and didn’t get the wrong idea. I was the one who brought it up, and he said he was the same–just a platonic friendship was the interest.
As far as comparing my spouse to him, I don’t find myself doing that, either. I am well aware that when I am with him or talking to him, I see his best side, and the same for him. I don’t feel I’ve idealized him in any way since I know he has his flaws, as I have mine. My husband and I make a better pair overall, so if I were single and comparing them side by side, I would still choose my husband. This guy is admittedly really hot, but that’s the main thing he has going over my hubs. My husband is pretty good looking, though, too.
I also don’t feel that my husband is getting less while he’s getting more. I think that my husband has sometimes gotten less but not because of gym buddy….it was sometimes because I’d just want to have a bath after putting our girl to bed, or I’d want to just read, or <insert alone time activity.> I’m more of an introvert and relish in alone time a couple times a week.
Food incentives= going out to get a burger and ice cream. A date has romantic intentions. This would be to try a burger (that I’ve never had before) and an ice cream that he’s never had before.