Post # 331
wifeconflicted : If you can’t recall what you wrote last year about your husband’s reaction to couple’s counseling, I strongly suggest you go back and read every word of your old thread. I think it’s a very good idea in any case. My guess is you’ve since forgotten some of the really outrageous things he said and did back then.
Short version. He refused couple’s counseling for fear it would unfairly place all the blame on him. He was uncomfortable for the same reason when you told him you wanted to pursue individual counseling and had the nerve to ask you to first get checked out by a GP, as if this is all in your head or a manifestation of a physical or brain illness. Classic gaslighting.
And unbelievably your original individual counselor was the same as Jen’s. Maybe it’s just me, but did that have anything to do with your discomfort or difficulty in opening up? Did you ever switch?
Post # 332
wifeconflicted : OP what uuup?!?!
Has this situation been put to rest??? How is everyone?
Please give us an update ^-^
Post # 333
Update: I continue to attend the monthly gaming events and have seen him there, but contact has been minimal. I wrote to him in early January with an easy opt out to not reply, and he must have taken that because he didn’t respond. We haven’t actively hung out since last September. Half a year later, I really miss the friendship. A ton. I wonder if he misses it, too, or if he’s glad to have the space and has moved on with no problem. When we see each other at the gaming events, we’re cordial and everything, but I think the friendship is gone, which has been really hard for me. I actually did reach out to him last month to let him know that I wasn’t going to make it to the game night, and he let me know he wasn’t going because of a family birthday event, but that was it. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to make it to March’s game group, so we’ll see.
As far as home life, things are going well for the most part. I still go to the gym regularly and am slowly getting back into sports. The one unknown for me is how often hubs chats with Jen still while away from work–and if it’s in a 1:1 setting, group setting, or almost none at all. I am feeling pretty down even though I feel like I’ve had ample time to move past the loss of a good friendship, but it’s been hard, to say the least.
Post # 334
You’re feeling so down about it because it wasn’t “just a friend” as you kept trying to claim. I’m glad he walked away, because you certainly weren’t going to.
Post # 335
wifeconflicted : You’re still married?!?!
Post # 336
You can say all you want that things are going well at home, but you’re lying to yourself. That’s why you feel so down. If you want to be happy, you need to dump your ridiculous cheating husband so that you can finally be available to pursue a relationship with someone who loves and respects you. Stop choosing to waste your life with a guy who forces you to compete for attention with his coworker.
As much as I’ve enjoyed the “work wife” saga, this is ridiculous. It should have ended years ago. You should have divorced him years ago. Forget about your gym friend. There are loads of available men who would make you feel this same way. Problem is you have to be proactive and get out of this Jen triangle first.
Post # 337
Have you and your husband been to counseling since your last post?
If the two of you put half the energy into your relationship that you put into other relationships you’d be doing just fine.
Post # 338
mrsaime : +1, for both their sakes (and their spouses) I’m glad that he finally got his shit together and realized that relationship wasn’t platonic. Good for him.
Post # 339
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
This thread is like every show from the 90s: it just won’t die.
Post # 341
I’m rooting for the gym dude now y’all, who’s with me? 🍿
Post # 342
Not even after our elite world class thread killers have gone at it with blowtorches.