Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222
Hey Bees! Jennifer Aniston got secret married last night over a decade after ending her first marriage to Brad Pitt. It got me wondering…
Have you ever been remarried?
How was your wedding different the second time around; did you feel like there were certain traditions you couldn’t participate in because it was your second time around?
Were people judgy about your second marriage, or were the supportive?
Post # 2
I am now remarried after a previous divorce. My second wedding was different because DH and I paid for it and did exactly what we wanted to do (have a big party). There were NO “traditions” or things that I felt I couldn’t participate in because it was my second wedding. There were plenty that I had absolutely no desire to participate in, because they didn’t appeal to us. No one was judgy about a second marriage (or second wedding). Why wouldn’t my friends and family want me to be happy, which is exactly what my DH makes me?
Post # 3
Good for her!
I’ve been married before, so now that everyone knows I’m planning a second wedding (and that it’s my FI’s second marriage too) I get a lot of comments like, “Oh, so you don’t need to make a big deal out of it” or “You don’t need to spend a lot or do anything special.” Grrr. I hate those comments, especially since I didn’t have all of the fanfare the first time around. My first wedding was simple and no frills. I wore a short prom dress to the courthouse, we got married in the sheriff’s office in front of her dusty bookshelf with an equally dusty fake plant, and we took maybe ten pictures afterwards. Since then, I regretted not having a bouquet, a long dress that made me feel like a bride, cake, and quality pictures I’d actually want to display. Of course I also regretted the choice of groom, so I see this wedding as my second chance in a lot of ways. I’ll make sure to have those elements I missed, and I plan to make much more of a fuss about things. I plan to have my dad walk me down the aisle, I’ll wear a veil, and do the traditional dance with my dad since I didn’t do any of that last time. I imagine my Fiance will want to dance with his mom even though I’m sure he did that last time since his wedding was much more elaborate and traditional. He wants me to have all of the fun wedding experiences I never had before, and who am I to argue? My Fiance and I have talked about this and think that having gone through failed marriages, we actually appreciate each other all the more and want to celebrate having found the right person this time around after both struggling in unhappy relationships. Not to mention that we feel much more prepared for marriage than we did before. I’m as excited and happy about this wedding as I would be if it were my first. I know not everyone shares that opinion, so I’m trying not to let the comments get to me.
Post # 4
I was divorced, and am currently engaged and wedding planning. It has been a different feel across the board. My family was supportive of the divorce and they adore my FH, so they are still excited. It’s his first wedding, so I didn’t want to take the specialness of it away. However, I must say that now that the planning isstarted, I’m estatic that we aren’t planning to keep it low key like I imagined my second wedding would be. We’re paying for it ourselves, so we’re incorporating all of our favorite things. We’re breaking a few rules, but are adding even more tradition than my first wedding. I think I’m more excited than the first time because he’s more involved, the details are more personalized, and honestly, I just think this relationship is better all around.
Anyone who has an issue with being happy or supportive of us can stay home.
Post # 5
Having been married before (and now waiting for a proposal from my SO) I am definitely more excited about the prospect of a second marriage and second wedding. I know myself way better know. I know what aspects I enjoyed and what bits weren’t worth the hassle.
I also agree with CakeSniffer:
– I feel like I will appreciate everything so much more now.
If anyone ever insinuated that I couldn’t have or do certain things for a second wedding, I think I’d punch them in the face
Post # 6
I was married previously. We had a traditional, but small (about 40-50 people) wedding. Marriage lasted about 16 years.
This time, we eloped. Huband had been previously married as well, so we just wanted to go do it alone and have a fun little secret! Plus, we didn’t feel the need to go through the entire hoopla again, or spend that kind of money. This time, it was ONLY about us and noone else.
As far as judging…it’s hard to say. My dad made a crack once when talking to my husband and me saying “well I already did such-and-such for one of GFERG’s husbands…” I might have just take it the wrong way. I don’t know. Most people are happy for us, because we both were married to people who had affairs. So people seem pretty happy that we found each other. But honestly, I don’t care what other people think. They aren’t living my life. They didn’t have to be married to a cheater.
Post # 7
My DH is my second marriage and I’m his second marriage. We both still believed in marriage- we just didn’t get it right the first time around. I wish Jennifer and Justin all the best- good for them!
We both had the big wedding the first time around, this time we opted for a small destination wedding- 18 people in Los Cabos, Mexico- it was literally a 5 day party with our closest friends and family. Best time ever- I wouldn’t change anything!
I didn’t feel like we couldn’t have certain things since it was a 2nd marriage- I still wore a wedding dress- it was very plain and no veil. We did a sand ceremony to incorporate my daughter in to the ceremony, and we wrote our own vows.
No one was judgy- pretty much everyone in my family is divorced and remarried- and all of them have great marriages now- so they are all great stories of happiness after divorce.
Post # 8
I was married young, and was married for 5 years and I recently remarried. My now DH was never married or engaged. I never feltl like I couldn’t partake in certain traditions, because I never really had any of the traditions with my first marriage. My first marriage was planned in a week, and it was a completey different ceremony/event than what happened this time around! My now husband and I took our time planning everything together and made it into a big party. It was an amazing bonding experience with him in all honesty, something that I definitely did not have with my first marriage.
As far as family and friends, all were fully supportive. Especially since they all knew the crap that I went through with my ex (cheating, physical and emotional abuse, the whole 9 yards). They were happy I was in a stable, loving relationship that made me happy and wanted to come together to celebrate that.
I’d say the biggest difference I felt between the two weddings were within myself. With my first, I knew that it was a HUGE mistake. I wanted to wait to get married, but I let myself get pushed into it. Not only that, I remember on my wedding day leaning over the sink in the church bathroom all alone, wondering if I should run for it. But, I felt too guilty calling it off because his parents had already bought the rings and our families were there (looking back I realize how immature this was!). I only managed to get down the aisle by telling myself “Well, there is always divorce”.
With my husband now, I could not WAIT to be married to him! The day of the wedding, and all the days leading up to it, I had no nerves whatsoever and could not contain my excitement. Walking down the aisle is one of my best memories. I was so happy, he was so happy and it just felt so right. Such a huge difference!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222
I love your last statement! I agree so much.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222
Gosh, I am so sorry for what you went through. That had to be awful! I’m glad you found your husband. 🙂
Post # 11
I was married for 3 looong years. I’ve been divorced for almost 3 and I’m getting married next month! YAY!! Fiance was married before and has been divorced for about 6 years. Everything is completely different. My first marriage was planned in like 2 weeks, we went to the mountains with like 20 friends and family. Fiance and I have been engaged for a year and have planned for a year. We are having a small laid back wedding. We want something very intimate. My Fiance is amazing and I’m much more excited this time, last time I was stressed and wasn’t sure if it was right. This time I have absolutely no doubts!
Post # 12
Post # 13
I like this thread, it’s an interesting subject.
I haven’t been married before. My other half has. He was married for 6 months in his early twenties before he found out she’d cheated and was pregnant by someone else. He was broken, but admitted that her cheating wasn’t the only mistake, them getting married in the first place was a terrible mistake too.
His ex wife and him married in jeans and Tshirts and he had no wedding ring. He hates jewellery and he wouldn’t wear one then. I told him we could just rock up at the town hall and sign some papers and he doesn’t have to wear a wedding ring. But he wants a party this time. He wants to get all dressed up, say his vows, and he wants to wear a wedding ring so badly. He feels like this time it’s real, it’s proper, it’s the last time, and he wants a big deal. It won’t be a big wedding, but it will be our ideal one, and with no holds barred. Just us, on a beach in tropical paradise at sunset. Perfect. There is going to be a much happier ending for him this time, and for us both.
Post # 14
I am a really big fan of Jennifer. I think she’s a great role model of what it is to be a celebrity and a human being all at once. I think her first marriage was kind of tricky. You could tell that she really wanted it to work and loved Brad, but things didn’t work. Reading some responses from above, it seems like 2nd marriages are better than the first and much happier, so I think this will be the case for her as well. They seem so in love and have actually dated, waited, and planned for their wedding. So excited for the two of them. As for me, I am in my first marriage and loving it!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222
I agree. I was getting really tired of the “oh no, she’s going to die alone” narrative because she never seemed like she was in a huge rush to get re-married. I think she’s spent enough time with him now that they are probably in a good place.