(Closed) Jeweler ruined surprise- UPDATE

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee

mordoria: She initially didn’t know what setting she’d be getting. She had chosen two styles that she would have been happy with and one of the differences between them was that one had 4 prongs and the other had 6. Her SO ultimately chose the one she will be getting but the surprise would have been that although she knew it would be one of the two, she didn’t know exactly which one. The guy setting the diamond knew they wanted it to be a surprise for her but he mentioned quite a few times that it had 6 prongs so now she knows which setting her SO chose.

Post # 32
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee

cherryiice: I feel your pain. My OH was paying off the ring in instalments because he didn’t want to fully pay it until it was finished and he could see if he was happy with the outcome. I, like you, chose two settings with the final decision being SO’s so it’ll be a surprise for me. I like surprises but because we already did the whole ring shopping thing together, the jig is up, I know it’s coming so I wanted the ring to at least be surprise. SO is insisting on a special proposal so a little while ago I mentioned that the ring would be done soon so he should probably start thinking of ideas so he can do it very soon after he picks up the ring. Well homeboy decided to wait until AFTER he had the ring and apparently the proposal he’s planning was hard to organise so it’s taking a little longer than we expected. I’m so irritated that if he had started planning BEFORE he picked up the ring, he would have known it was going to take longer to get the proposal done and most of that time would have passed already. Ugh. Men!! I’m now at a ppint where I just want him to give me the damn ring already. I don’t want a proposal, we already consider ourselves engaged. I just want my ring lol!! But nooooo, he wants the big proposal. I swear I think he just likes getting to torture me because any other time he’s the sweetest guy ever and would do anything for me.

Do you have any siblings? If so, could they maybe mention something to your dad?

Post # 33
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

cherryiice:  

i understand why your upset but here in the UK we don’t pick our own ring. My Fiance took my mum to help him choose the most beautiful ring and there was no waiting – because I didn’t know it was coming.

why do u choose ur own ring?

Post # 36
Hostess
3846 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

cherryiice:  I feel ya.  I know a lot of brides say to plan the wedding you can afford, but Fiance and I are in the same situation as you where my parents had always said they would give us a wedding budget.  Both Fiance and I have a lot of private graduate school debt, so we’d either have to have a courthouse wedding or a 2020+ wedding if we were to pay for it ourselves.  My Dad also knew the proposal was coming (FI proposed in May, had been waiting since August for the custom reset) and did not give us an actual number for the budget until a week after the proposal, though I think he had a number in mind beforehand, and I hadn’t asked until after.  We booked our Fall 2016 venue last month in an area where you have to book well over a year in advance and there were still Saturdays open, though not for Spring 2016 if that’s the season you’re aiming for.  If your Dad is willing to give you an estimate/range of what he’s willing to contribute, you could always put the deposit on a credit card and pay it off after the engagement (assuming the engagement is happening within the next month or so).  I got a CC specifically for wedding related deposits/purchases to build up miles for the honeymoon, but my Dad also gave me the money pretty soon after so I knew I wouldn’t have to carry a balance, which is really important to me because I’m hell bent on not messing up my credit.  Maybe that could work for you?  

Post # 38
Member
8831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

cherryiice:  until he “asks”, its just not final. — Then all the waiting is on you and your SO. It’s annoying that the ring is taking longer than the jeweler initially estimated, but you’re acting like that is the root of your anguish, and it’s not. That’s what some bees are confused and irritated with. You’re blaming it all on the jeweler and not accepting that it’s your decision (multi-person “your” — you and/or your SO) not to be engaged. If you (again, plural “you”) WANTED to be engaged you could be and the ring not being ready would be a minor annoyance. You and your SO are the reason you’re not engaged.

Post # 39
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Daisy_Mae:  +1 exactly. It’s not the jeweler’s fault, or her dad’s fault. If OP wanted to plan a wedding and be engaged, she and her boyfriend. Pull be doing that. 

Post # 40
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How many threads are you going to make on the same ridiculous topic? You are engaged, no one had ruined anything but possibly you because you can’t just stop already and let it happen. 

Post # 42
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

cherryiice:  

I also told my hubs (back in the day) that he better put a ring on my finger to seal the deal. Could we have been engaged without it? Yes. But we both agreed on having an e-ring.

 

 

eta: What would also bother me is that if the level of customer service to obtain the ring is this poor, how will they act over the years as you have it serviced?

 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  NFLwidow.
Post # 43
Member
8831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

cherryiice:  “I’m wondering whether the bees saying we should just be engaged without a ring would say the same to a bride who was looking at not having a ring for the ceremony.” — I can’t speak for everyone but for me, yes, my answer would be exactly the same. If someone said “my wedding band isn’t back from the jeweler yet so I’m postponing my wedding” I would most definitely say “you’re nuts!” Are you saying you WOULD call off your wedding if your wedding band wasn’t ready that day? To me, that is petty beyond belief. It’s inconceivable to me that you would refuse to get married — take a solemn legal and, to many, holy vow — because there wasn’t a shiny trinket to put on your finger. It’s utterly bizarre to me. And your graduation example isn’t the same. A comparable example would be, if the diplomas weren’t back from the printer, would you tell the dean “I refuse to graduate without that diploma. Consider me still enrolled until I have that symbolic piece of paper in hand.” You said yourself, it’s a symbol. The symbol isn’t the thing. You can still have the thing and NEVER have the symbol, although in your case, you would get the symbol, just a little bit later. So, yeah… I don’t get it. And apparently a lot of other people on here also don’t get it. You could have one now and one later, but you’re needlessly choosing to have both later. (again, plural “you”)

Post # 44
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Looking at your other threads, you went through several different jewelers and were confused about what you wanted in a ring as recently as two months ago. I wonder how you are going to make it through the wedding planning process when you are getting this worked up before you even have a ring. 

Post # 45
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I didn’t walk with my first degree, and I’m still deciding about the second. That doesn’t mean earning them was anticlimactic. That’s a strange example to me.

The topic ‘Jeweler ruined surprise- UPDATE’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors