Post # 1
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
My husband and I were married last year in a civil ceremony. I’m Catholic, he’s Jewish. We’re both committed to our faiths, but because of college, moving around, etc, do not have any ties to a church or synagogue. Initially, we made an effort to find a priest and rabbi to co-officiate our ceremony, but this proved impossible, so we went the civil route.
Now, I am working to arrange a Catholic convalidation ceremony for us – basically a small private ceremony officiated by a priest which makes our marriage recognized and blessed by the Catholic church. My question is, does such an option exist in the Jewish faith as well? As I mentioned, we do not belong to a synagogue and neither does his family, so I’m not sure what (if anything) we can do. I would love to show my husband that I am committed to honoring both of our faiths and having our marriage blessed by the Jewish faith as well as mine. If anyone has any experience/advice, please let me know!
Post # 3
Member
4136 posts
Honey bee
what branch of judaism is your husband? there’s no equivalent of the convalidation, but if he’s reform no such thing is necessary. you would just need a simple ceremony with a ketubah and a chuppah, the only requirements for a jewish marriage. most conservative and orthodox rabbis would not consider what you have a jewish marriage or a jewish family, even if you have a ketubah or chuppah. they’re not usually keen on interfaith marriages. you need to talk to a rabbi (reform) to see what he/she thinks.
Post # 4
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
Would the Catholic church even recognize a marriage between a Catholic and a Jew? I don’t see that happening. There’s not really a ceremony like that in Judaism that I know of. There’s just the wedding and the auf ruf the Shabbat before.
However, I don’t know how I would feel, as a Jew, having my marriage blessed in the way that you’re wanting. As strict as the Catholic church is about this stuff, it’s a little…hmm…I don’t wanna say “anti-Judaism”….but it’s definitely not Kosher. There are plenty of Reform synagogues that welcome inter-faith couples, though, if that’s what you guys are wanting!
Post # 5
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
@kitzy: He’s reform, so we could do a reform jewish ceremony with a rabbi, but I wasn’t sure if that’s something couples do when they’re already married. I’m not sure how I feel about having a whole new wedding ceremony, but if that’s the only option I might look into it.
@MissHoneyBun: It’s actually pretty common in the Catholic church. They differentiate between sacramental marriage (2 catholics) and non-sacramental marriage (mixed couples), but they certainly recognize mixed marriages. Do you mean that as a Jew you wouldn’t want your marriage blessed in the Catholic church or in a synagogue? Or either? DH isn’t excited for the convalidation, but he definitely understands why it’s important and supports me. This is why I wanted to do a Jewish ceremony as well, so we can honor his traditions as well as mine.
Post # 6
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
@GirlWithARing: Ahh…I didn’t know there were non-sacramental convalidations. I meant I wouldn’t want my marriage blessed in a Catholic church. Then again I wouldn’t marry a non-Jew, so that takes care of that. I can understand why he isn’t excited about it. I would compare it to a baptism. Not Kosher. BUT–if it’s your church recognizing it as an interfaith marriage, then that eases it up a little.
And no, I don’t think a rabbi would want to do a chuppah ceremony with a couple that’s already married. Jews don’t even have rehearsals (traditionally) because time under the chuppah together is sacred. You do that ceremony once (well, you’re supposed to). You could ask, but I’ve never heard of that happening.