(Closed) Jewish Bride/Non-Jewish Groom – Jewish Traditions to Include in our Ceremony?!

posted 3 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 2
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Galleria Marchetti

We just attended a wedding of a couple in a similar situation. (although he may have converted). They signed a ketubah (just in English), were married under a chuppah and had various family members read the seven blessings in English after the rabbi read them in Hebrew. Then the groom broke the glass. 

I think you can incorporate whatever you really like! I love the symbolism of the seven blessings and the chuppah. It’s a beautiful way to include your culture into your wedding.

Post # 3
Member
386 posts
Helper bee

I went to a wedding where the groom was jewish (not practicing) and the bride wasn’t. They had a secular ceremony performed by a friend instead of a rabbi or justice of the peace. 

At the end of the ceremony, he broke the glass and during the reception they were both lifted on chairs and had the traditional Hora. 

Post # 4
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Catholic bride who married a Jewish groom here and we tried to include a bit of both but only in a secular way. 

We had a “chuppah” like arch above us when getting married (but it was made from my mom wedding veil and no one held it up) 

we broke a glass and everyone said mazel tov after we were pronounced husband and wife. 

My uncle said a non denominational prayer before the meal 

and we included an Irish blessing since my uncle who performed our ceremony is Irish and he wrote it in. 

We didn’t do a ketubah or dance the hora or have any religious officiants of either faith there 

Post # 5
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Non-religious bride with culturally jewish groom here! 

We are having a mostly culturally Jewish ceremony.  Chuppah and family standing up with us.  Wine and candle lighting ceremony with 7 blessings, all only in english, and with no mention of God in them.  We have an Engish only Ketubah that we will sign DURING the ceremony in everyone’s presence (my culture).  We will BOTH break a glass at the end of the ceremony – at which point the bagpipes will start (my culture again!). 

Our wedding will look and feel like a Jewish wedding (but without reference to any specific Religion), we are being married by a humanist who speciaizes in interfaith weddings, but we are getting married on a Saturday (GASP!).

 

Post # 8
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

napabride17 :  In the reverse situation – my husband was raised Jewish, and I was raised Catholic, but neither of us are particularly religious (my Darling Husband considers himself an atheist, but culturally Jewish). We each chose two traditions to incorporate – he stepped on the glass, and we did a version of the traditional seven benedictions. Instead of just reading the prayers, we had seven close family members write out something they wish for our future and had our officiant read those aloud. For the Catholic side of things, we had a reading and did the sign of the peace at the beginning of the ceremony. I think it was well-balanced, and our families appreciated the respective nods to our upbringings.

Post # 9
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m a Jewish bride and he’s a Presbyterian groom. Neither of us is religious, but we do each want to honor our heritage.  In my case, I asked if would break the glass. And we’re going to incorporate an updated, modern version of the 7 Jewish wedding blessings. 

<h4>Modern Seven Blessings:</h4>

  1. May your mar­riage enrich your lives and the lives of every­one around you.
  2. May you work together to build a rela­tion­ship of sub­stance and qual­ity.
  3. May the hon­esty of your com­mu­ni­ca­tion build a foun­da­tion of under­stand­ing, con­nec­tion, and trust.
  4. May you respect each other’s indi­vid­ual per­son­al­ity and phi­los­o­phy, and give each other room to grow and ful­fill each other’s dreams.
  5. May your sense of humor and play­ful spirit con­tinue to enliven your rela­tion­ship.
  6. May you under­stand that nei­ther of you is per­fect: you are both sub­ject to human frail­ties: and may your love strengthen when you fall short of each other’s expec­ta­tions.
  7. May you be “best friends”, bet­ter together than either of you are apart.

(I apologize if this is a repeat. I posted a comment and it immediately disappeared. Just my luck it’ll show up again!)

Post # 11
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

My daughter, at the time a Unitarian Universalist, and Jewish son-in-law were married by a UU minister in their reception space. Both bride and groom went down the aisle with both parents, were married under a chuppah held by members of both families, broke the glass, danced the Hora and were lifted on chairs. Now that she has converted, they would like to renew vows in a Jewish service.

Post # 12
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Hi, Bee! Fiance and I are both Jewish and having a Jewish wedding (but in many ways more modern than traditional), but an idea that might be relevant to you — instead of just breaking the glass, you can do something that relates to the meaning of it and speaks to both of you. 

Traditionally, the glass is broken to remember the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem – basically, making a statement that even in our happiest moments, we need to remember the past, including things that aren’t as joyful. What our rabbi is having us do is for the groom to say the traditional line, which looks towards the past – “If I forget you, Jerusalem…”, and then I choose a quote or sentence that is forward-looking, and expresses our hopes for the future. It’s a good way of being connected to tradition while still adding our own “twist”… and in general, the idea of being connected to the past while looking towards the future is something that by no means has to be expressed Jewishly or religiously. And in my view makes breaking the glass a lot more meaningful!

Post # 14
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Hello, we had an interfaith wedding (I’m Jewish, he’s Christian). We had co-officiants of his pastor father and my rabbinical school friend. We had a great mix of everything and wrote the entire ceremony ourselves. 

Jewish elements: 

1. Meaning of and recitation of the shehechehyanu

2. Acknowledging combining two different religions, and their similarities

3. Chuppah (technically any structure with four posts and a roof)

4. Wine ceremony (as the unity ceremony, talked about Jewish connection to wine)

5. Ketubah (we had a beautiful interfaith ketubah made with inkwithintent.com)

6. 7 Wedding Blessings 

7. Threefold benediction

8. Breaking of the glass. 

Here’s what we wrote for the glass- 

    <li style=”font-weight: 400;”>___ will now break a glass which in the Jewish tradition has many explanations. It is believed that traditionally a glass was broken at the end of the wedding ceremony to remind those present of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Others believed that one broke the glass in order to scare off evil spirits from the happy wedding couple. Today, we acknowledge that even in this moment of joy, we recognize that there is sadness in our history and in our world. It is inevitable that the two of you will face moments of difficulty in your life together. Like the Jewish people, may you overcome the challenges that you will face and may you carry the joy of this moment with you forever.
Post # 15
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

I am a non-Jewish female marrying a Jewish male, and we are incorporating MANY Jewish traditions into our ceremony (including having the wedding on a Sunday and seving Kosher food). We are both being walked down the aisle by both of our parents, will be married under a chuppah held by the groomsmen, will do the kiddush blessing over wine, have incorporated the seven blessings, bought (and will sign) a secular ketubah, and will both be breaking glass at the end of the ceremony. We are also planning on dancing the horrah, and have bought kippahs for our male guests to wear. Our officiant is Jewish but not a Rabbi or aCanter. I’m hoping it doesn’t offend anyone that we are participating in these rituals in a non-religious way, but we wanted to honour the culture and heritage of the groom’s family, and we plan to pass Jewish traditions onto our children (with the opinion that they can convert later in life if they so choose). Mazels!!

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