(Closed) Jewish Brides- Parents under chuppah?

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
  • poll: Will parents stand under the chuppah with you and SO?
    Yes : (14 votes)
    56 %
    No : (11 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My parents will be standing under the chuppah with us as will finance’s mom (his dad passed away recently but if he were still alive, he would be there too )-:

    My fiancé isn’t Jewish but he’s not anything, and neither is his mom so there’s not really an issue. He’s Korean and his mom will be wearing a hanbok so she will bring in some of Korean traditions next to the jewish ones (also, our ketubah will be in Korean, English and Hebrew). Can you tell your in laws that it’s about having them there next to you, and being surrounded by family as opposed to telliing them they have to stand under a chuppah? Not sure why a chuppah would make anyone uncomfortable as its trendy to get married under a canopy of some kind anyways these days, but maybe explaining it a different way would help them feel comfortable. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Our parents didn’t.  We just thought they would enjoy the ceremony more sitting down and not having to stand for 30 minutes.  Plus we didn’t want it all crowded up there.

    For what it’s worth, I’m Jewish and Darling Husband is not.

    Post # 7
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My parents and his parents held the poles. I voted “no” because it wasn’t really “yes”

    I’m Jewish, my husband is not.

    Post # 8
    Bee
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    Our chuppah was really only big enough for the two of us and the rabbi, and at times, a speaker, but our families stood up there with us basically under the chuppah but really on either side of us.  It was wonderful having our families up there with us.

    Post # 9
    Member
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Both my Fiance and I are Jewish.  My dad is getting hip surgery so he specifically told us he didn’t want to stand up for the service; that made our decision easy!! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My husband is Jewish.  Our parents were supposed to stand under the huppah.  Mine did, but my husband’s parents sort of partially stood under it, closer to the bridal party along the sides.

    Why would his parents be uncomfortable standing under it?  It’s not like you have to renounce Jesus to stand under it 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    1625 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Mine will.

    The reason they stand all under is to represent the families being joined. Although the chuppah is at nearly every Jewish wedding, it is actually a tradition and cultural…not religious, so if that is a concern to the in-laws perhaps explaining it a bit more will help.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’ve been to one Jewish wedding and both sets of parents stood under with the bride/groom for the duration of the ceremony.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    At my second wedding, none of the parents were present.  However, at my first wedding, both sets of parents were under the chuppah.  Mine (who are not Jewish) actually appreciated the custom more than the groom’s parents did.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We all stood under the chuppah together. My parents are Jewish, but his are not. They actually really liked being so involved:

    PS we made our chuppah out of a coverlet my great grandmother made. I guess it wasn’t very traditional, but we also did not have a traditional Jewish wedding.

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