- 5 years ago
Hey I wanted to see if I could get some input on this, because this topic has already caused fights, pressure from both families, and it’s become a general annoyance to deal with.
So anyway, I am Jewish, and she is Catholic, but neither of us are that religious- we don’t regularly go to church or temple. We originally we both were content on finding neutral ground and having one ceremony, but the ceremony spot where our reception is doesn’t look so great. So we set out to find a neutral ceremony place (which proved incredibly hard- we live in the philadelphia/south jersey area). After the few places we found available were not up to snuff, she is insisting that I get married in her Catholic church. She always tells me thats where she got everything done like communion, etc, and it’s where she’d always want to have it. I obviously want her to have it the way she wants, but I like her grew up somewhat religious (I even visted Israel), got my Bar-Mitzvah, etc. And I could not see my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, all going into a Church to see me get married.
We then came up with the idea of having two ceremonies, but when I called the temple, even know it was reform they would not perform a wedding until after sundown on a Saturday because of the Sabbath.
I would be fine with just a random officiant, but definately not in a church with a priest. I also think it would be pretty rediculous to have her walk down the isle twice, put on rings twice (do we then take them off after the first one???), etc.
Also, she would like the church to recognize the wedding (yes, even tho she is not very religious at all). I don’t mean to be offensive to anyone- but if the Catholic church really won’t recognize that we are meant for each other and won’t recognize our marriage I don’t even give a crap. If my synagogue said that if I marry a Catholic that they wouldn’t recognize the marriage, I would tell them to f-off also. I think all these rules are insane especially in 2013…
She has pretty insistant (but does understand my feelings) on the church and I feel this situation is getting worse and worse, and could really use some advice.