Post # 1
I’m new here. So…hello! My SO and I are/were planning on getting married late next spring. We have talked about it and he was so excited and told me he couldn’t wait for me to be his wife. (FYI: He’s the one who initially brought up getting engaged/married and when and we have a great relationship too). I am/was so excited and he even told me he bought the ring back in October (I never knew he was looking and have not seen it either). Well….
After all the excitement and talking he told me a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to cease all talk of engagement/wedding stuff. What??? He said he just wanted to enjoy our bf/gf time together and just have fun right now. He also said that he didn’t want any pressure (I promise I have not pressured him) and he wasn’t going to plan anything (proposing) and “let it just happen when it feels right”. He wants it to be a complete surprise for me but also says things like it could be 2 years or 25 years. This being said AFTER we agreed to get married next spring out of state and have already planned it. He says we’re still going on the trip even if it’s just a vacation.
I understand his feelings. I really do, but it’s so difficult to go back and NOT think about the fact that he has the ring and not talk about it. I’m really trying though. (When we did talk about it, it was him bringing him up. I didn’t want to put any pressure on him.) He will joke about us getting married to our friends and say “in 25 years when we’re married…”.
I guess I want to know if this behavior is normal for some guys? Do some guys act different when they possess the ring or suddenly decide to cease all talk of engagements/weddings? AAAHHHH!!!!
Post # 3
I know it’s hard not to think about it but it might be the best thing. Guys like the proposal to be a surprise and they feel like that can’t happen if you are thinking about it and talking about it together. I had to completely stop about getting engaged to get my husband to propose, he even had the ring too. You should check out Mr. Bee’s Three Step Plan. He explains it so well!
Post # 4
Yeah, it sounds like he has something up his sleeve but wants to catch you when he thinks you’re not thinking about it (even though I know there is hardly a moment when us waiting bees are NOT thinking about it, lol!). I’d say just be patient, try to keep quiet about it for a while, and enjoy the relationship. If you feel like you can’t go without talking about it, find a hobby to keep you busy for a while. Good luck!
Post # 5
I agree with MissAsB, I think he wants you to cool down the engagement talk so that he can surprise you. So take this time to enjoy your relationship and relish in the fact that its coming soon. Hey join the Christmas challenge, it couldn’t hurt!
Goodluck and welcome to the hive!
Post # 6
I’m doing a very good job at not talking about it since he said we shouldn’t. I was never the one who talked about it alot…it was him! When he does bring it up now, I just change the subject. It’s very hard to do buy I’m hanging in there! I just joined the Christmas challenge too!
Post # 7
Am I not reading this right? Is he saying he doesn’t want to get married in the spring anymore, or just that he doesn’t want to talk about the engagement right now? Either way….next spring is pretty close, if he isn’t planning on proposing, like, now, you’re not going to have any time to plan. While I’m all for not harping on it and letting him plan the engagement in his time, I think it’s important that you’re on the same page about things and are able to talk openly about something as important as your marriage plans. What would bother me are the “it could be 2 or 25 years” comments – if he’s sure he wants to be with you, he shouldn’t have to make those comments, and if he’s not sure you need to have a bigger conversation.