Post # 1
Im desperately seeking a new job at the mo. Currently a dispatcher for the ambulance service which is super stressful and horrible shift work hours!
Darling Husband and I recently decided I needed a change of environment in order to be healthier for pregnancy as im high risk. I decided a nice office job was the way to go. I had a job interview today for an administration/reception role at a construction company.The interview went really well and it actually turned out I knew the interviewers daughter. However during the wedding she said to me “So since your a newlywed, do you have intentions of starting a family”. This really put me on the spot and I had no idea how to answer. We are actively TTC (cycle 4). I told a bit of white lie and said “Well I wouldnt say no because its always a possibility, however I dont imagine it will be in the near future).
Now that the chances of getting the job are pretty favourable I feel super guilty and wonder if it would be a horrible thing to do to a company – get the job then 3months later tell them im pregnant! Anyone been in this situation before?
Post # 3
I’m not sure of the laws where you live, but where I am, it is illegal for an employer to discriminate based on age, gender, sexual orientation, marital status or pregnancy. I also don’t think employers are allowed to ask you if you’re TTC. I’m worried about getting this question myself- I think your response was the best way to go about it. Don’t feel guilty, if it happens, it happens and they can work around it!
Post # 4
Post # 5
I was just about to say the same as previous posters. They’re not allowed to ask. It doesn’t help you now but if you’re offered the job, take it and say no more.
Post # 6
Nevermind! Gave advice for the US accidentally.
Post # 7
@MeeShell: “Well I wouldnt say no because its always a possibility, however I dont imagine it will be in the near future.”
You said “imagine” you didn’t say “plan.”
Plans change. Take the job if/when they offer it to you. It’s not something you can 100% control anyway!
Post # 8
@MeeShell: I’ve had the opposite, I have had an interviewer chew me out for being 28 and not settled down! She literally got a disgusted look in her face and said: ‘well how do know you’ll stay for longer than 12 months considering you are not even settled yet!’
I was so shocked, I got home and emailed her back saying: lose my CV, I would never be comfortable working for you.
It’s a tough one OP; sometimes it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Post # 9
Uh. Yea. That would be illegal but at the same time what can you do? I image this is a small operation without an HR dept. If they were any type of sizable company I’d be emailing HR as soon as I got home. I also wouldn’t choose to work from someone like that anyways. If you still really want the job, keep your mouth shut until you know.
Post # 10
In the US, they are NOT allowed to ask you that nor are you required to answer! I wouldn’t want to work for a company like that to begin with! I definitely wouldn’t feel guilty. What assholes!
Post # 11
I’m in the US, but I agree with PPs. NOT okay to ask. Even if it’s not the law, it’s a touchy subject as far as discrimination goes.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t tell them a thing, it’s not their business. I’m currently 10w3d pregnant and interviewing for jobs and I’m not telling them at all.
Post # 13
That IS an illegal question. Unfortunately, it’s one that I’ve been asked as well.
Post # 14
Thanks for all the feedback ladies! The job actually came to me via a recruitment company, I rang the advisor I have been dealing with and told her about our conversation and she actually “OMG she cant ask you that im so sorry”. So I think if I get offered the job I probably will take it and then if it happens that I get pregnant shortly after (FX) then so be it!
Post # 15
@MeeShell: Seems like a good attitude! I actually had this debate with my friend today, he thinks if I am in the early stages of pregnancy when interviewing for a new job, I should tell my employer. He doesn’t know this, but I recently had a MC at 9 weeks of pregnancy, so NO, I will not be telling any potential/current employer that I am pregnant until it becomes so obvious from looking that I can’t avoid it any more. You just never know what would happen–why add to the pain of a potential MC by also losing out on a job and/or having to explain to your employer what happened?
Post # 16
I think it’s all been covered here I just wanted to add that I thought you replied perfectly!! well done!