Post # 1
If you lost your job, had enough saved for the wedding without debt, had enough in emergency funds to get you through, but all parents involved (none of whom paid) are telling you to cancel, and you’ve got 14k in deposits with 35k to go on the wedding, and you still have long term savings.
do you cancel or keep planning on it just cutting back where you can while looking for work?
Post # 2
What field are you in? How realistically can you get a job with a similar pay grade as you used to have? People change jobs all the time, I wouldn’t lose 14k when I could have a new job in a month or two (assuming that is realistic in your shoes)!
Post # 3
I would be forging ahead, but looking into cutting back on the outstanding 35k. I’m assuming, only one of you were downsized.
Post # 4
This is a tough situation bee 🙁
Personally I wouldn’t cancel. Losing 14k in deposits is an insane amount, especially if you could theoretically get another job fairly soon. I would rather take something part time or not in my field than cancel.
Post # 5
sunworshipbride : Cut back where you can but proceed and job hunt. 14k in deposits is a lot to lose, especially if you have emergency savings AND savings for the wedding already.
Post # 6
What field? Can you pick up temp or contract work while you look for a f/t job? When I got laid off, I started picking up clients and eventually had more income in contract work than I had had being employed by someone else. Do you have any severance to get you through until you land something f/t again?
In any case, I would not cancel, but as PPs have said, I might cut out non-essentials to bring down the balance.
Post # 7
Only one was downsized. Probably same pay grade within 4 months. Have emergency fund without touching long term savings. And other has job which cover expenses.
Parents just raining Down on us hard – because we were supposed to pump our wedding, first mortgage, 2 babies, fruitful Careers in next 2.5 years.
Just reeling because had this parh all set out and I’m not young. Doesn’t feel like we have time for this set back.
Post # 8
All great answers thank you. Yes it shouldn’t take long to find a new position and I’m signed up for temp/contract already.
Just freaked out.
Post # 9
Aboslutely cut back. If you had no savings, then I’d be saying to cancel. Just because you put 14k into something doesnt mean you HAVE to put another 35k in. But if you can pay for the wedding and still have savings, I’d continue. But still, look at cutting out the extras and downgrading if you can.
Shitty circumstances, but you can get through it!
Post # 10
I wouldn’t walk away from $14k in deposits. I would start slashing that $35k remainder. If the parents are so unsupportive their guests can get cut first. ; ) And stop talking to them about it. When they bring it up just tell them you’re working through all your options and change the subject.
Just scale back everywhere you can. Pick up any work available until you land another position. It can always be worse. You’ve set yourself up to weather this storm, you’ll get through this.
Post # 11
I’m with you. Feel free to vent to me.
Post # 12
Can you throw a smaller party for the cost of the deposits paid?
im so sorry bee, this is very stressful.
Post # 13
A variation of this happened to me, actually. Our wedding was in March, and I was laid off in January. Our wedding was small and cost considerably less than yours, but we (I) still had a fair number of people try to convince us that postponing was a good idea.
I *did not* want to postpone, and yes, we would have lost out on a good chunk of money. Ultimately, we forged ahead. Luckily, I found work fairly quickly, so it would have been a pretty big blow emotionally if we had postponed and lost those deposits. Problem is, of course, you don’t know when that money will start coming in again. It’s definitely a gamble.
If you feel pretty confident that you will find work soon, personally, I’d continue as planned (while trying to cut back wherever you can).
Good luck. This is not a fun position to be in, and I hope things get straightened out soon for you.