(Closed) Job Nightmares, continued…

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am a bit confused as to why, if you can adjust the budget and manage on a bit lower paying job, it is up to your Fiance for YOU to stay in a job that is costing you emotionally and mentally. What reason does he want you to stay?

It would be one thing if taking it meant you were going into debt or becoming financially unstable, then you might need to stick it out a bit longer until you find something else to replace the income (or take this job and work part time somewhere else) but if not, well, the lower paying job can have other benefits aside from salary…like quality of life. Is there room for growth in the new job as well?

I don’t know. My husband has been in the same position, and seeing how the higher paying job was costing him mentally, emotionally, physically, it was a no-brainer for him to go for a lower paying job that came with a better quality of life for him. We made it work.

Post # 3
Member
13904 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not stay in a job I was miserable at given the opportunity for something new with a manageable salary.  Does your Fiance want you to stay only because of money?

Post # 5
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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jkat84:  you could switch jobs to the lower paying one and still keep searching, no? 

Post # 6
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If benefits aren’t included you’re losing a potentially large amount of total compensation.  If you’re moving in just a few months, why not stay where you are?

Post # 8
Member
13904 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Losing benefits is a big hit.  Have you looked into seeing how much private insurance will cost?  I understand that it’s not cheap. 

If you took the new one, could you still afford to save for emergencies?  Would a car accident put you in bankruptcy?  If an unexpected expense could have catastropic consequences, maybe it is worth staying where you are, knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Why are you so miserable?  Are there steps you can take to make things better at your current job?

Post # 9
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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jkat84:  I agree with 
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Kikibear: I worked at a place that started to implement more rules/ micro management… I knew eventually I would be making the move from fl to la where my fiancé had moved the mth previous for his job. Just stick it out…. It’s more money and your going to need to save  every cent you have For this move and for when you are job searching. I got here in la mid November and got an interview 1.5wk at the local hospital..i knew they were very interested in me, but had to submit my info to the HR board bc the person I would be replacing was transferring to another location and then right before Christmas I got the call they were indeed offering the job, but the pay from fl to la differs majorly … Like $4hr… Great benefits but I will be taking  huge pay cut and a blow to my ego aswell, they do not take any of my education into consideration as that particular position doesn’t require it…. But I took it bc I don’t know anyone here nor anything about the area so I feel even though pay sucks it’s a great way to network, i am very lucky to have my Fiance as he is the bread winner and has floated me for this mth of being out of work. 

Post # 10
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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jkat84:  is he going to work FFA? 

Post # 12
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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jkat84:  federal flight association ? 

Post # 14
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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jkat84: sometimes being an adult means sticking out a miserable situation. 

I made the switch because we could afford it at once point. Then the job after that wanted to tie my offer to that wage, not what I was actually worth. I’m currently $25k/ underpaid, which adds up. 

My now Dh encouraged me to take the lower paying job at the time. But then he quit his fancy job and the math didn’t work anymore. 

I had to take a new job that pays better but nowhere near what I’m worth. I can’t switch again for awhile because job hopping millenial you know. 

Dh quitting his fancy job cost him six figures of lost income for the new job he thought he’d be happier at? Turns out it was more miserable than he thought was possible. He’s having a hard time getting back to the previous situation he was in. Which makes him miserable  

Money doesnt buy happiness but it does make a lot of bullshit easier to swallow. 

Being an adult and keeping long term view was an expensive lesson for us as a couple. and we’re more miserable than if either of us had sucked up the temporary pain and acted like adults earlier in our careers. 

Post # 15
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

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jkat84:  DO not stay in  job that makes you this unhappy. I was under the same stress and in a similar situation. I walked out of my job one day because I couldn’t take it anymore. I took a lower paying position and am happier than ever. It is only improving my relationship and overall demeanor. If you can still pay the bills, happiness comes first.

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