Post # 1
So, to preface this story, my Fiance and I both live in Orlando and work in tourism in pretty low-paying jobs (hourly, just-above-minimum wage). He has a full-time job and I only work part-time. In December my work area is getting rid of the benefits package for part-timers and there are currently no full-time positions in my department.
The other day I was on the phone with my mom and she mentioned that our church secretary back in New Jersey would be retiring. My mom and I were very involved in our church when I was growing up and I would usually volunteer in the office over my summer and Christmas breaks. So when she told me she was retiring I said, “haha I’ll take her job!” in a kind of half-joking, but half-serious way, but I didn’t think anything of it, so I didn’t say anything to Fiance. My mom had lunch with our priest today and said “You, know, LuluVohn said she would take the secretary job.” to which our priest responded, “Really? She’s so well-spoken, she has the experience, and I wouldn’t need to interview her. I’d give her the job.” To which is wife added, “Yeah, but in the church, people don’t make much. The salary is probably only about $30k-40k plus benefits.” (which is more than twice what I make now). Then this afternoon his wife texted my mom and said “You know [Priest’s name] was serious, he’d give her the job.”
So my mom called me and told me all of the following, which I told Fiance. He knows that I’ve been unhappy in Florida for awhile. My family is in New Jersey, his family is in Connecticut, this would move us closer to both of them. I would be making probably more than our current combined salaries and I’d have other perks like consistent days off and vacation time that I don’t have now. But Fiance is dragging his feet and saying that he thought we’d decided to stay here another year (we hadn’t, he’d suggested it, but it wasn’t my favorite plan) and he’s afraid he won’t be able to get a job up there. I don’t want to move and make him unhappy, but I don’t really want to stay here and be unhappy myself. I also don’t really want to do a LDR. I need some help from the Bees!
Post # 3
How long are they willing to hold the job? can your Fiance apply for jobs and see if he gets any response? Being in a relationship is always about compromise and sometimes you compromise and sometimes he does. I can’t tell you what to do, but if you feel like you need to take this job for yourself have a serious talk with your Fiance. He may not realize how much you need this. Good luck!!
Post # 4
It makes financial sense for you to take the job. Is your Fiance giving you any solid reasons for wanting to stay? You hadn’t mentioned any of them here.
Post # 5
@luluvohn: I 100% agree with @prettyinpink11:
. It sounds as though they know you well, so I’d definitely see how long they’d be willing to hold the position. Since you do
know the priest fairly well, you should be very upfront and explain the situation … Let him know that while you’re very interested in the job and think it could be a great move for you, you want to make sure your fiance is also able to find a job in the area before making the commitment to move that far from where you are now. Who knows? He may even have some suggestions of local places in need of help!
You’ll also have to have a serious conversation with your fiance. It’s important to let him know how unhappy you are in your current job situation and how concerned you are about the benefits being cut in December.
I hope things work out for you both!
Post # 6
I think his biggesr fear is that he wouldn’t be able to find a job there. He is also pretty typically resistant to change in general. He moved down here on a whim 13 years ago and hasn’t left since even though he’s not happy with his current job either and complains about it just about every day.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2021 - Wyckoff, NJ
Something to think about though – even though the salary is double your current, the cost of living in NJ is probably (in some areas) double that of parts of Florida.
Post # 8
Sometimes change is a good thing… a new environment, new people, etc. will lead to new opportunities. Summer in FL is brutal. I would tell him to try out NJ for a year (this would be a good time to get out of FL anyway) and if life is still sucking for him a year after the move, you can try something else.
Sounds like you guys have nothing to lose, so why not take the chance.
Post # 9
You need to take it. I would DEFINITELY take it!!! He’s not making enough money to make up for the salary increase and honestly, if he’s making minimum wage or just above it, he will be able to find a job up there because he doesn’t have a minimum salary requirement. It might just be in a different field.
made a good point though.How does COL in NJ comparable to here? (I live in Orlando lol) I’ve heard NJ is very expensive. But at the same time, I can’t imagine it’s double…Orlando is fairly expensive. We pay almost $1200 in rent just for a 2/2.
It sounds like a great opportunity and I couldn’t imagine passing it up! Plus it moves you home & close to your family, closer to his, and he doesn’t like his job now. I don’t know what reason he could possibly come up with to stay. It sounds like it’s just stubborness
Post # 10
I would say the job market is much better in the NJ area than FL – there are probably as many hospitality type jobs available (in NYC or the shore for summer work) and a lot more “professional” jobs
but its true about cost of living…. depending on where you live it could be double or more (for instance I currently live in Jersey City and a 2bed/2bath would be about $2500) but if you are more in the ‘burbs then its probably more like $1500 ish which isn’t terrible.
Also if kids are in your future then this might be a good chance to get closer to your families bc it makes it a lot easier
Post # 11
We would be in South Jersey, so our cost of living would be pretty comparable to what it is here. The area I’m looking at right now, we could move from a 2/2 apartment to a 3/3 townhome for a couple hundred more.
I think Fiance is also worried because he’s comfortable here. He doesn’t drive and has managed to make that work for him here, just walking everywhere. But he’s worried that he won’t be able to get around as easily somewhere new. That’s why the townhouse I’m looking at is right next to a light rail station that goes from Camden to Trenton with connections to Philadelphia and New York on either end.
I feel I should also mention that this isn’t something completely new. We’ve been talking about moving from Florida for about a year and a half, this is just the first time something has come up to actually give us the opportunity. It would make all of our wedding planning easier, since we’re getting married in New Jersey and we had both said we wanted to move up North before we had kids, because typically the schools in Florida are not the best. He just seems so unhappy with the idea now that it might actually happen.
Post # 12
Okay, just got off the phone with the priest. He confirmed the salary is $35,000 plus a benefits package that covers 100% of all premiums including spouse, two weeks paid vacation, and weekends and holidays off. The current secretary is leaving July 1st. I calculated roughly what I make right now and it varies depending on the hours I work (sometimes I only work one day, sometimes I work 5) but it’s ballpark $10,000 a year. It would be a minimum of a five-year commitment (the priest is retiring in five years and I can’t guarantee the new one would want to keep me).
Post # 13
That just solidifies my “do it” stance lol