Post # 1
Sorry for the long rant, just frustrated…
So I was working full time at a job for about 4 years in a very toxic work environment. I would come home crying daily, especially over the last year as things were getting even worse. My SO and my mom would always listen to my rants and emotional breakdowns and give me advice (I live with my SO). They knew everything and continued to tell me to leave there and go find something else. It was also so so hard to interview for other jobs because I worked such long hours – there was just no time. Not to mention barely any vacation/ sick days and everyone was always in everyones business so it was difficult to lie about coming in late or leaving early to go interview places. I always heard the old saying “don’t leave a job without another one lined up” and I tried to stick it out as much as possible but eventually I hit a breaking point and resigned. It felt so good to be out of there finally but It was the toughest decision of my life. SO fully supported my decision (even demanded that I resign at one point) and my family totally had my back knowing what I was going through. I’ve been interviewing for about a month and a half and I can’t tell you how hard it is to find something out there. I started interviewing immediately after leaving my previous job, as in I left on a Thursday and my first interview was on the following Monday. I have good experience, I have good references, I’m professional, I’m friendly and warm and kind and answer questions in detail and give good examples. Recruiters contact me daily and get me great interviews with cool companies. I typically get good feedback and am always asked to come back to interview with more ppl, But in the end another candidate is always chosen instead of me. Most places make you come back to interview 3-4 times (or more- so draining) with multiple different HR people, different execs, different managers, only to narrow it down to you and 1 or 2 other people and then you find you weren’t chosen. My thing is: not everyone is going to love you. If the first two interviews went well with the first two people, but then the 3rd person didn’t “click” with you, why is it ok to just disqualify someone? Especially when they have all the experience required and gave great interviews numerous times? The competition is so stiff out there folks. I am starting to feel so defeated. Not that I thought this would be a piece of cake, but being rejected numerous times after traveling and spending hours researching a company and going back and forth multiple times only to find that you didn’t get the job is so extremely draining and depressing and you start feeling like you just aren’t good enough. I’m starting to question myself – is it ME? Is there something wrong with me?? Especially when you know you are qualified and would be a great fit. I’m feeling so down on myself lately, but I know I cannot give up. Every morning I pick myself up and put on that suit and head to the next interview. Sometimes 2 in one day, sometimes 3. But it’s just so hard to keep going. It does help to have a SO who is so supportive and tells me everyday that he’s proud of me and that I’ll be fine and will find something amazing, but it’s hard when you keep trying only to keep failing. Has anyone been in this situation? I imagine I’m not the only one. Please do not tell me that I am lazy or that I shouldn’t of left my previous job, because if I could have continued to stay there I would have. It was a very toxic work environment, that i dealt with for 4 years, that affected my professional and personal life on an emotional and physical level. I won’t get into the nitty gritty. Please do not judge until you’ve been in my shoes. (On another note – any NY bees that are hiring feel free to reach out! Lol. Jk. But really… Lol)
Post # 2
I searched for 13 months for a job in my field. In the mean time I questioned all my life choices as well as did temp work and nannied in the mean time. Five years ago TODAY I got the job that changed my life. And I am so happy I stuck it out. I wish you luck, Bee! You sound great and I’m sure the perfect position is right around your life corner!
Post # 3
I feel you. We relocated earlier this year, when it was a million and a half degrees, and the experience, as short as it ended up being, was horrible. I felt like an insecure ball of panic the entire time, from start to finish. It’s a terrible, complicated game you have to play just right to get anywhere. It took a lot of stress, tears, and frantically reading Ask A Manager to get through it.
Since you asked, my department in NY is hiring… Haha.
Post # 4
I’m currently looking to change roles so interviewing at the moment too and with previous roles I’ve been on so many interviews. There always seems to be a block that you hit when nobody will hire you. It sucks at the time and your confidence dwindles more and more but something will eventually come along and that job will be something that is suited to you and what you need at that moment.
It’s so hard not to get discouraged but try to stay positive. If you need a little help staying positive, try posing like a superhero for two minutes before the interview (obviously in a cubicle in the ladies, I don’t know how well a superman pose would go down at the beginning of the actual interview), as it leads to positive effects. The article explains it better than I do – http://www.creativitypost.com/psychology/power_posing_like_a_super_hero_transforms_you_into_one
Post # 5
I just got a job offer, but I had been job searching everyday for 5 months, and everyone I know tells me how quickly I got a job (not trying to brag or anything), but it felt like FOREVER to me, because I’ve never not had a job before.
I can’t tell you how many interviews I had where I was final two and the other person was chosen, and it was so frustrating.
The thing is, you’re getting interviews, and eventually you’ll be final two and you’ll be the final pick!
That doesn’t mean you won’t be frustrated in the meantime, but there’s a job out there for you.
Post # 6
I strongly believe job hunting is a cycle or process. Usually right after leaving our previous gig we have momentum and we have fire, then as time rolls on we lose our confidence and become more emotional in the process. At some point we start caring a little less or get our groove back. Maybe it is something else in your life distracting you, a part time gig etc. Two years ago when I found a new gig it took me 8 months (but that was while working full time and trying to relocate to a new city), seeing a life coach ultimately helped me achieve my goals. I wa fully qualified but at first my confidence was zilch. I would highly recommend seeing one to help you achieve your goals. The girl I saw was getting certified so it cost me very little. Good luck bee!
Post # 7
Thanks so much bees. I know I can always come here for words of encouragement! I’ll keep ya posted – fingers crossed something comes through soon. What is meant for you will not pass you by!!! Staying positive!
Post # 8
Just chiming in to say hang in there! It is really daunting, defeating, and often soul-sucking to get the job offer, but it will come. My SO has been job searching for about 8 weeks now, and he’s facing the same challenges as you are. He’s gone on third and fourth interviews several times and then been passed over. Its so discouraging! I keep reminding him that the perfect job is out there, he just needs to be patient and dilligent.
Obviously since you’re getting the interviews, you’re a good candidate! Stay strong!
Post # 9
hang in there Bee. I was in a similar situation except my toxic work place was doing restructuring and I got laid off in October. I was so happy to leave but my ego was so bruised. I was applying for jobs like crazy and putting so much pressure on myself bc I wanted to find my dream job. Recruiters contacted me too and I went on a good number or interviews and the same thing kept happening. That is until I got offered an amazing position two weeks ago. I’m not saying that to brag, but to let you know that you’re not the only one making it to the final two and not getting “picked”. The right job/fit will come along, just keep doing your part and it’ll happen. You’re getting the interviews, that’s the hardest part. Something will come along soon, just stay positive!
Post # 10
I’m in the same boat. I will have been at my current job for almost 5 years. It’s been horrible. This summer my DH and I agreed to let me take the summer off to spend with our daughter. We will be moving as well so once we relocate I wiill get a new position but it scares the daylights out of me. I know we cant wait forever for me to find a job either. Good luck bee!
Post # 12
did you turn down any offers because it wasn’t your dream job? Or did the first offer you got turn out to be amazing and you accepted?