(Closed) Job stuff – Is it normal to feel guilty?

posted 10 years ago in Career
Post # 3
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Think of it this way, you will leave your position behind for someone even more qualified than you. That is in the sense that the next person might love the idea of having a cushy job with little to no competition to them and have no goals of advancement whatsoever. (Yes, these people do exist, though mostly in the Canadian Public Service, but nevertheless!)

You spent all this time, money, and effort obtaining a Masters degree which is no small feat. The least you can do after having done that is to stretch it to its fullest potential.

You yourself has also stated that your boss’s money mgmt is not the best. What if one day he has to fold? He will have no choice but to let you go. In a bigger place, there is a chance that if your own dept is not performing well, then you can move into another one, etc. And it goes without saying that the larger, more known companies will look very good on your resume for future endeavors.

Post # 5
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

I can definitely relate! I actually just applied for another position yesterday, and I totally feel guilty about it! I’ve been with my current company for 8 1/2 years. I love it here…and the benefits are absolutely amazing. My downfall is that it’s 1 1/2 hours of commuting one way. That’s 3 hours of my day spent JUST on commuting. It really stinks.

The new job wouldn’t have as great of benefits, but I’d be able to work from home, and get paid more. And with us starting a family, that’s so key. If I’m working FT, what better commute than being at home already?? Not to mention, no more Philly city wage tax or train fare. We’d be able to save so much more money!

But do I feel guilty? Totally…and I work for a large company! I actually did end up mentioning it to my boss. Mainly b/c it’s a vendor who forwarded the job to me and they wanted to be sure that it was ok that they sort of sought me out. He couldn’t have been more supportive. He knows the commuting is getting to me after 8 1/2 years and that I want to start a family…so while he’s sad that I potentially might be leaving, he’s very cool with me being upfront with him about it and is trying to help me any way possible.

Post # 7
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m in the midst of this same dilemma. I accepted my current job because I thought it would lead to bigger and better things. But I’ve found that there is nowhere in this company that I WANT to advance, and my current position is something I could have done right out of high school. I am not interested in this job as a CAREER, and I also need to make more money.

I just applied for another job YESTERDAY and got a call for an interview TODAY! I’m excited but it is very very bittersweet. I absolutely LOVE my current coworkers and boss. They have all become my friends. I know we can still remain friends afterwards, it’s just like I feel guilty “leaving” them. I am sure you feel the same because you work for such a small company. Even if you’re not “friends” with everyone you work with, you are a close-knit group and it makes you feel like you’re betraying them.

My only advice to you in your situation is that really, no one can blame you for looking elsewhere. You need a job where you can advance with your degree. No one can say you are a bad person for wanting to better yourself. That’s what I’m trying to focus on, too.

Post # 8
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You shouldn’t feel guilty. Rare is the company that would ever give your feelings the time of day – why should you then feel guilty about doing what you need to do to be successful and make a decent living?

Post # 9
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Brigadoon303: “I found it’s rather common for people not to say anything until they have another offer. “

That is true and it makes sense. Why tell him now and this new job doesn’t pan out. You have to be sure. Think “don’t count your chickens before they hatch”.

Post # 11
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

For my last job, I loved my bosses, my coworkers, and my clients. The only problem was that they had budget issues so people kept getting laid off. And then I had to do those people’s work. It was just too much, I was stressed out to the point where my migraines went crazy and I would cry every day to, from, and at work. One of my boss’s was pregnant, so she was about to take maternity leave which left even one less person there.

I decided I just had to think about myself and what is right for me. As much as I hated to leave them at such a hard time in the company, my health and sanity comes first. If you find a job you like better and it’s better for you, you should take it.

Post # 12
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

While it’s totally normal to feel some guilt, you definitely don’t have anything that you should feel bad about!  If you are in a job that doesn’t meet your needs, you almost have no choice but to consider other alternatives.  Commute time is important, but far more important are advancement/growth opportunity, salary, benefits, etc.

Post # 13
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It’s a tough situation to be in.  I wouldn’t say anything until you are planning on leaving since the company may retaliate.

It’s hard knowing that you want to leave but you need to do what is best for you and your career.  They can find someone else.

Post # 14
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think what you’re feeling is normal, but you shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to advance your career. Unless this is your dream job and you think your boss will offer you ownership stake in the company (since you can’t advance any further), then I think what you’re doing is smart. Think of it this way also, as much as your boss likes you the company is severly in debt which means you could be laid off tomorrow. You don’t own the company so you are expendable. It looks like all signs are pointing towards you moving on, so go for it.

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