(Closed) Jobless Bride Wants to Postpone Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I Postpone My Wedding?
    Yes. It sounds like it may be a smart idea to postpone it, even though it will make people upset. : (24 votes)
    44 %
    No. If you don't keep up the planning it may ruin your relationship. : (8 votes)
    15 %
    Wait a little longer to decide. Something may come through. : (19 votes)
    35 %
    I have no idea. This is too difficult of a decision for me to offer advice. : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    1446 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @ElbieKay:  The OP stated she has even applied for jobs waiting tables, so I’m not sure why you would think she isn’t looking for a job.

    Post # 18
    Member
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Family meeting pronto.  It sounds like your FH doesn’t want to disappoint his family but it also seems like he hasn’t given them the entire story in regards to your finances.  I would draw up your current household budget and potential wedding budgets to show them the actual numbers and put it all in perspective.  MAybe together you all can work out a smaller budget and/or a smaller guest list or ultimately decide that postponing the wedding is the best idea.

    Either way it’s a bit concerning that your FH doesn’t feel comfortable having an adult discussion about this and instead chooses to avoid it completely; it’s natural to be disappointed but he needs to grow up and deal with having a conversation he may not like.

    Post # 19
    Member
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    She could qualify for unemployment depending on the situation that caused her to quit.

    Post # 20
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Are your student loans federal loans?  When I was unemployed I was able to defer them due to economic hardship.  Maybe that is an option?

     

    *hugs*

    Post # 23
    Member
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @jillybeanrose:  I hope it all works out, maybe do as other bees suggest and cut costs where you can, then once you get a job and are able to catch up with bills etc you can always add extra things back into your wedding if you are comfortable enough to do that.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2776 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @jillybeanrose:  I am on unemployment  but they didn’t send me paperwork, I know that there is an option A on the unemployment that allows you to defer for 6 months without the paperwork did you try that option?  

    Also there is an income based option and currently your income is zero so I would try that as well, and since your not married they won’t inquire about your spouse.  

    Of course this is me assuming you have federal loans and not private ones.

    And finally if what you are doing isn’t working I would try a temp company if you have one in the area.  (And even if you don’t some work nationally.) My field is science but I have found great temp jobs (in my field) that have brought in cash for a few months at least and when your contract is over your loans will go into deferment and you can collect unemployment like I am right now.  

    This time I am looking for an actual hire as I have been a temp for the last two years and I’m getting tired of it.  The economy being what it was and my experience being what it was coupled with the fact I had no contacts or networks to use made it the best option but right now I think I could land a “real” job.  If I was offered another decent paying temp job I would take it though depending on how long it lasted.

    Do you have an almuni office you can contact or anything like groups you were in in college or professional organizations that you are a part of.  Or if you did any internships would they be open to taking you back as an employee?

    I am having a ceremony anyway even though I am unemployed because we will  be spending very little on it.  If you get creative I’m sure you can find a way to pull off the ceremony, it would just be nice if your Fiance and the family was more understanding.  Would they be terribly upset if you changed the venue to a park or something and did cheaper food options like a ceremony at a park, then all go to a restaurant after or something. (Rent out a room there kind of thing.)

    Post # 25
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I don’t understand why you can’t postpone if that’s what you want to do? I wouldn’t feel comfortable getting married if I had no money either, it will take the joy out of planning a wedding if you are stressing about money. How much will you lose by canceling the venue? Is that all the money you have put down already? 

    Post # 26
    Member
    862 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Can you re-book the venue for a later date?  That is, they’d keep your deposit and you would still have the wedding at that venue, just at a later date?  Maybe you should push the wedding back by a few months or a year, depending on how long it takes you to find a good job.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1331 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @jillybeanrose:  If you post your resume on monster.com, that’s enough to get deferment. They just want to know you’re making a reasonable effore, and posting a resume online counts. I promise. That’s what I did. I have been looking for over a year, so I know it’s hard.

    Convince him to downsize the wedding, and get married anyway. Waiting isn’t going to help you find a job. 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    10363 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    How about dipping your toe in the water with the family and mention to them that you are thinking about postponing due to financial issues. See how they react. See if that’s a reaction you’re willing to live with. If it isn’t, i’d scale the wedding back to something that is doable on the money your families have already given you. SOmething lower key – like a dessert reception instead of dinner, for example, could make the $$$ difference!

    Post # 29
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee

    Could you look into doing a quiet legal wedding now so that you can get insurance, etc., but still have the “real” wedding next year?

    The topic ‘Jobless Bride Wants to Postpone Wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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