Post # 1
I’ve seen a wide range of topics here~ those complaining about bridesmaid’s lack of work and help. i am just wondering what bridesmaid jobs should be in this generation.
Daughter’s all live out of town, they came in for a shower and a bach. party~ but distance prevents them from doing a lot more. They are wonderfully emotionally supportive, good friends and were there for her many years.
What are you expecting your bridesmaids to do?
Post # 3
My Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid will help set things up the day before and will show up on time to the wedding. Other than that, they were responsible for purchasing their dress and shoes.
Post # 4
Buy their dress, help plan the bachelorette party (just plan, not pay for), and show up to the wedding on time. And listen to me vent and complain about wedding related stuff, lol, which they’ve all been great about!
Post # 5
Buy their dress (which one of them couldn’t even do – had to order it for her and it took her almost 2 MONTHS to pay me back) and show up for the wedding (fingers crossed).
My BMs all live in different states, and only 1 lives Pittsburgh where we’re getting married (which is not where WE live), so I couldn’t have really expected them to do much. I did the dress shopping alone (my mom & entire family is in PIttsburgh), invitation stuff alone, all my DIY projects alone. Really though, even if they were local to me I don’t see me expecting much of them. I’ve rather enjoyed the peace and solitude of my solo activities!
FI’s aunt is hosting my shower, and while the 6 BMs can all make it in town for the shower itself (just as guests) because of various obligations and necessary travel arrangements most can’t stay for a bachelorette activity. I’ll prolly just sleep over my bff’s (the only local girl) with a chick flick and bottle of bubbly. Or maybe not even that since I don’t really drink=)
Post # 6
5 of my bridesmaids are out of town, except my moh and fsil. i’m lucky because my fi is very involved, and both my and his parents are very supportive and involved as well, so there hasn’t been much need for hands-on involvement. my moh and fsil came bridesmaid dress shopping with me, and we discussed via email the dresses with everyone else. my moh is organizing my bachelorette and fmil is organizing the shower, all on the same weekend so it’s easier for the oot bms to come in. my moh came with me to one dress shop after i’d narrowed my dress down, and we’re going shopping today for a longline bra. she’ll come to fittings too if she can. she’s going to help me address envelopes too.
but for the oot bms, the main thing they’ve done is buy the dress, and be emotionally supportive via phone/email. my sil is a bm and photography is a hobby for her, so she helped me chose between photographers by looking through their blogs. i just the other day talked through some guest list drama with another bm. about 1/2 of them are coming to the bach/shower weekend, and then all of them obviously for the wedding weekend itself!
Post # 7
My BM’s are responsible for buying their dress and shoes (but I’m making sure it’s affordable). I don’t care if they get their hair and make up professionally done so that’s up to them. I would like them to be supportive throughout the process, but I don’t need them to be there 24/7 and I have my mom to help with DIY stuff so I don’t really need them for that either. They are just my closest friends and sisters so that’s why I want them up there with me.
I’m hoping that they will all be able to come to my bachelorette party and bridal shower but if they can’t it’s not a huge deal. And of course they need to be able to be there for the rehearsal and the wedding 🙂
Post # 8
This generation, a BMs “job” is to buy a dress, stand up at the alter with you, and just be a friend. Most people are going to say differently, but that’s my opinion. My BMs have offered to help with things for me, and I truly think that’s because I haven’t demanded things from them.
Post # 9
Based on my experience as a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, we bought our dress, paid to get our hair and makeup professionally done, planned and paid for the bridal shower and bachelorette party and helped the bride get ready on her big day (and not hallucinate)
Post # 10
I don’t know what their job is. I guess buy their dress, be a good friend, pay for their hair and show up on time. Just wish I would have had this expectations at the beginning so I wouldn’t be so disappointed right now (even though 10 months ago I still didn’t know what to expect). I just wish they were all “good” friends and there for me when I need them, which most of them haven’t been. Ohhhh well!
Post # 11
i’d like them to pay for their dress & shoes, try to attend the bridal shower & bachelorette party, show up on time to things. And just enjoy the day with me. Thats about it. projects and such i’ll have my mom and sis to help, but they def aren’t expected to.
just be their awesome selves!
Post # 12
krissybee, i wish I had my mom and sisters here to help me on projects =/ lol you’re lucky!
Post # 13
@tatiepoo- aww, i’m sorry to hear you are bummed / disappointed right now. I def feel lucky to have my family to carry alot of weight and help me. i appreciate it so much.
Have you asked for help? Maybe they are in the mind set that everything is going as planned and you don’t need help. couldn’t hurt, right 🙂 and the gals here in the hive are always here to chat and help in any way too!
Post # 14
IMO (which I don’t think many on this site agree with) the ONLY job of a Bridesmaid or Best Man is to stand up there with you at the alter and smile.
EVERYTHING else is icing on the cake that they can do if they want, but is NOT required.
Post # 15
I love the input
It was my opinion too to stand up for you and be supportive, pay for your dress and accessories.
We are so dang happy they are willing to arrange their busy schedules and fly in we could shout from the rooftop! I’m footing hotel bill, hair and travel in limo to wedding….. just thrilled these wonderful girls are standing by my daughter.
Post # 16
i expect my bridesmaids to buy the dress, not wear hooker heels, smile at the altar, keep my champange glass full, and dance their butts off.
seriously, this was pretty much discussed with each of them, prior to actually accepting the job.
however, all of them (except 1 who is technically a junior BM) have wanted to be very involved, even though all but one are out of state.