Post # 17
we waited until after the wedding for practical purposes (i.e. living in different states) as much as personal reasons.
It hasn’t been as difficult as I thought, but we made it a point to discuss throughout our engagement that we were going to be really communicative about our money. It’s really difficult at times because we’ve both lost freedom as well as most of our discretionary incomes (b/c we were both living with our parents prior to marriage, and DH quit his job to go to school), but we found that honesty and transparency is the best policy.
Every couple is comfortable with, and handles things differently though. There is not necessarily a perfect formula!
Post # 18
We currently have individual checking accounts and a joint savings. The joint savings is more of a rainy day fund, but we intend to keep it this way even after we’re married. It has worked for 4+ years we have been living together, so why change it? We each have specific bills we pay and that’s that. 🙂 Also, I don’t have to worry about him buying something that he forgets to tell me and I overdraw the account. I am the only one who uses my account unless I give him my checkbook or card for something specific, so if I mess up and overdraw, it’s my problem.
Post # 19
We opened up a joint account when we moved in with one another. Right now its just money being put aside for when we purchase a new house, but after we get married, we plan on further combining accounts. We will still each keep our own spending money accounts.
On the plus side of merging accounts, I don’t know if it is our sharing of financial info or that he can see what I spend, but since he’s moved in my spending has gone way down. It’s pretty nice to have some “extra” money right now!
Post # 20
No joint account for us…but we have a joint credit card! The conjoined spending helps us rack up miles & rewards, as well as regulate credit – we pay ours off completely every month (neither myself nor Fiance has really ever carried CC debt – I feel really proud of that). Fiance created a pretty easy to use Excel Sheet where we input ALL our expenses & it figures out what we owe each other each month – although, that’s easily solved through expenditures (I pay the CC bill, he pays the rent & other monthlies – comes out about even). Mostly, we keep up the Excel Sheet for budgeting…I think we’ll keep it up even after we’re married. We’ll join accounts, COMPLETELY, after we’re married…when it’s “officially” OURS – no separate accounts.
But it sounds like I’m in the minority about that…
Post # 21
We opened a joint savings account right away, to start a honeymoon fund, but we each still have our separate checking and savings accounts as well. Now that we’re back from the wedding, and my time isn’t taken up as much with planning, I’ll start working on our budgets and financial planning a bit more.
Post # 22
It IS a big step – and what your exBF did sounds HORRIBLE!!! No wonder you are feeling nervous about it!
We haven’t merged money yet from a banking perspective, but are slowly meshing and melding our finances together as we plan. Both of us are paying for the wedding alone, so that’s helping. I’ve set up a separate wedding fund, but I think I’ll end up setting up a separate account and that will remain our joint account.
Take baby steps and have lots of communication with your Fiance about expectations and accountability, etc.
Post # 23
We started a small joint account together (we kept our individual ones) in order to pay for the wedding stuff. It made it easy to pay for “our” wedding AND, plus, keep track of what we spent all the money on since it only came out of one account. Once we got married, we put all the wedding money into that account, which was easiest since the checks were 99% made out to both our names.
sit down and just explicity go through what the money will be used for. Set up an online account with the bank so you can each see what you take out for what. I left my checkbook once and had to buy groceries with our joint account (which i don’t ever do b/c well, i live alone and he doesn’t have to help me buy my food so i use my own account) but i let him know….last week his personal bank card wouldn’t work so he let me know he pulled out money for lunch. The only reason we informed each other is b/c its outside our set notions of what the account is for–now, it’s for HOUSE stuff, like appliances or whatever. So as long as we are both open with each other it is fine. He stays out of my personal spending account and I stay out of his–we like our privacy and ability to spend what we want personally–i buy makeup, he buys videogames, to each their own. So stuff like that would never come out of our joint account, and we both acknowledge and have agreed to that.
so as long as you both agree what the joint account is for and keep each other informed of spending and the limits of the account so you don’t accidentally overdraw or anything, you’re good! Decide beforehand what you want to put into the account–DH dropped a chunk in to start it off, and I began chipping away at it every month when I got a job so that we “evened” out. He was always in the loop, as was I. I agree with the PP who said honesty and transparency is best. Let him know your qualms about it though, otherwise he won’t know how you feel!
Post # 24
We have a joint account that both have all our money going into. We have never had any issues at all. Pretty much if either of us is thinking about getting something we just consult the other person. I know a lot of people say its a big deal, for us it really wasn’t. We decided to do it 3 months after getting engaged. Its over a year later and we’re still smooth sailing.
Its kind of exciting too i think! have fun!!!
Post # 25
We also waited until after the wedding. We wanted to be realistic: while we were sure we were going to make it, what WOULD happen if we broke up and had merged finances? There’s not as much legal recourse for an unmarried couple. We agreed we’d wait until after the wedding to merge finances.
Post # 26
We have had a small joint savings accout- for trips and things like that. Only now that we’re engaged have we started merging accounts. I was waiting for him to pay off some debt, so now that we’re on the same page I felt ready. It actually takes a long time with paperwork in diff. banks etc. so it’s good to get it out of the way and be all set once we’re married. If you’re nervous about it, how about a joing savings account like some of the pp suggested?