Joint Finances – Do you or Don’t you??

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

our accounts are joint, and we both are very happy with it. I’m better at tracking money, budgeting, investing, and spending (e.g. buying xmas stuff when it’s on sale in July rather than waiting till Dec.. which is DH’s MO)

we both have some privacy in that I don’t see his itemized credit card bill and he doesn’t see mine. we talk if either one is strangely high. even this can be frustrating.. I’ve been waiting for Darling Husband to tell me how much he spent at Lowe’s for our spreadsheet for over 3 months. gah. he is just super forgetful about these things.

a couple nights ago he was like “oh I think we should stop and look at our accounts I feel like they are low” after some discussion it became clear he didn’t know I worked on my spreadsheet and budgets for our 3 year plan on a weekly basis. he also did not actually remember our plan and somehow mixed up my projection for next summer with my projection for now. it also revealed that if left to his devices checking if our budgeting was on track would happen once every 4 months or so, since he didn’t know i was doing it for us. oh and this spreadsheet is in a joint Google drive: he could have looked all this up at any point.

so.. yeah.. I manage our money. -_-” he is awesome and his lovely brain makes him the primary breadwinner.. but that man doesn’t know what to do with money long term.

Post # 18
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

rez123 :  just wondering, if a couple makes a decision to have a stay at home parents, it seems like your assumption is that the stay at home parent isn’t allowed to have any discretionary income to do anything? 

If your spouse makes 5x more than you do due to more advanced degrees/skilled profession, you would say that they can spend their hard earned money on things without consulting you? Or at that point, how would you determine the cutoff for when to consult and when it’s fine? ($500? $1,000? $5,000? Weird discussion to have if he can “afford it”.)

 

Honestly just wondering because there are obviously exceptions to every situation, and tons of variables, but seems like you have some pretty strong feelings about this. 

Post # 19
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I joined his account after we got engaged and got rid of my own, so none of our finances are separate. 

Post # 20
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

Joint. Works perfect for us 

Post # 21
Member
2811 posts
Sugar bee

No joint accounts for us! We lived together for quite a while before getting married so we already had a system in place. We planned to get a joint account and then keep separate accounts for ‘spending money’ but it kind of just seemed more complicated than it’s worth. 

I like to be able to buy myself things without feeling bad, and buy things for him that he’s not actually half-paying for haha. We ‘share’ money though. We go back and forth with paying for things without really tracking it and the only thing we split down the middle is bills. 

It might change when I go on maternity leave or if one of us starts making a good deal more than the other, but for now this is the simplest way for us. 

Post # 22
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee

We have joint and separate. It works really well for us. 

lwchang :  I just spent $100 on yarn I didn’t need and didn’t have to ask my husband if if was okay. We trust each other to have enough for bills and the rest is for whatever we want. The separate is more for us personally. Yes we are a team, but we’re still out own person with our own interests. Asking for permission seems silly but if it was joint money I think we’d feel we have to as we would be spending OUR money. 

Post # 23
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

mrspuppylove :  ah I see! Never thought about the “permission” piece of it. Makes sense!

Post # 26
Member
2333 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

We have had joint everything from the point where we got engaged and bought our house together. We’ve had periods of one earning more or not working but we’re a team and all money is our money.

Post # 27
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My husband and I have separate accounts and probably always will for two reasons:

1) He’s a server and gets paid cash tips. The only local branch of our bank is a far enough drive away that he will never go there to deposit money promptly. So I pay our bills out of my account, and he gives me the cash to deposit later.

2) He’s pretty terrible with money. I’m pretty sure if I gave him access to my money (I’m the breadwinner), he’d go apeshit and accidentally spend it all. He’d never spend my money maliciously or anything, but he spends every cent he makes (aside from what he gives me for bills) and then ends up surprised when he has no money.

We agreed pretty early on in dating that I’d be in charge of our finances. It might not work for every couple, but this setup works great for us. Darling Husband never has to stress about money or bills, and I get to spend the money I earn however I want. 

Post # 28
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

colourmeyellow :  well weekly is just inputting expenditures.. the rest is monthly, heh.

Post # 29
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We just joined accounts last week.  One checking.  One savings.  We each have citi credit cards to earn airline miles and those aren’t attached to each other, and we put everything on them and they pay off every 2 weeks at payday, and that comes from out of our checking.  That way it’s all the same but if he buys me a gift or vise versa the other one won’t know because our credit cards are separate, but in the end it comes out of the same pot.  Hope that makes sense! 

Post # 30
Member
10670 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

colourmeyellow :  

We had a joint account for many years exclusively for our rental properties.  We didn’t close any of our personal accounts and open joint accounts until we moved across country and went with local banks/credit union.  We’d already been married about seven years by then.

It really didn’t have much of an impact.

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