Joint Finances – Do you or Don’t you??

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 46
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Jacqui90 :  I think this is much better, a joint account of bills, mortgage, etc etc.. and have separate personal account

Post # 47
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

When we first married we shared expenses but kept our separate accounts. After going through a divorce and being a single mom for quite awhile, I saw having no bank account that was just mine as an alarming loss of independence (not judging others who join everything, this is just where I was coming from). But splitting up the costs of everything- not nickel and diming, just generalized- even amicably, it started to feel like more work than necessary and more like roommates than a married couple. 

So now we’ve found a combination of joint and individual that works for us. Both our paycheques go into a joint account toward mortgage, utilities, groceries, gifts, vehicle expenses, home repairs etc. As a few others have mentioned, I keep this on a spreadsheet, budget book Darling Husband has full access too. Each week we both get individual money from the joint account to do what we want with- so if one of us wants to save and one wants to splurge, that’s our call. lol so if he wants to be addicted to the local coffee shop or I have a slight penchant for Amazon, it doesn’t cause friction or leave the other person shorter of money. We have a joint VISA with a fairly high limit but we don’t use it on a regular basis, mainly family vacations or major home repair, and we pay it off out of the joint account. 

Post # 49
Member
6442 posts
Bee Keeper

colourmeyellow :  We keep ours completely joint and I never once think my husband is going to take money or steal or whatever worries people have about making a joint account.  I manage the money though.

Post # 50
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Once we’re married we’ll have a joint account for bills, savings, emergency money and such. We’ll also have our own “allowance” every month to spend as we choose.

Post # 51
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

We have joint everything but I HATE doing the bills and tracking finances. Darling Husband does all of that and I just ask if I have enough money to go to Sephore and pay for my horses stuff. I know that probably scares a lot of people, but him handling it and being good with money makes my life 1,000% easier

Post # 52
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee

We share everything. We have pretty similar spending habits, which probably makes it somewhat easier. We do ask the other person when we make non-standard purchases. I don’t say anything to my husband when I get gas in my car, do our weekly shopping trip, or anything basic. He doesn’t talk to me about paying the water bill or paying his gym membership or whatever. I do talk to my husband before making an expensive purchase and he does the same with me. The process of asking isn’t like really asking permission, but more just saying “I want to spend $200 on some new heels for work. Do we have any other big expenses coming up? Were there any big purchases you were wanting to make this month?” and we talk through it. We never tell each other 100% no, but its more like “do you really need it this month? do you really need $200 shoes or could you get some for $150?” and I do the same with my husband. Talking through it probably helps both of us keep our spending pretty reasonable, but also gives us ‘permission’ to splurge every so often without feeling guity. 

We have a monthly budget, which includes all our normal expenses. We don’t ever talk about purchasing things that go inside this monthly budget, and we just check at the end of the month to make sure we are within budget. 

I know a lot of people wouldn’t like this arrangement, but it works for us. 

Post # 53
Member
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ours our joint although I manage them and our budget.  We usually put all expenses on our credit card (joint) and pay them off for points every month. I do all of the spending though since I’m in charge of menu, groceries, kids, etc.  My husband doesn’t buy much for himself outside of haircuts, some lunches, maybe an audio book or game here and there. I even buy his clothes lol.  My account became the joint one so he does have a personal account he keeps some money in I think, not much.  I don’t think he knows the amounts I spend on groceries or shoes or clothes so that works for me (haha), I guess he trusts me a lot.  We have 2 kids so I can’t imagine trying to keep truly separate accounts.  Things are just too mingled and the majority of our expenses are household expenses anyway. And when I’m doing 95% of the spending it makes sense for me to do the budgeting.

Post # 54
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

I actually am currently trying to figure this situation out. SO I will be looking to get engaged in the next 10 months and some change, so we don’t have to make the decision just yet. But I’m not sure what our best set up would be. I’m just starting out in my career (graduated last December) so I don’t make much. My annual income is $40K, but I also have about $38K in student loan debt. SO makes $70K and has NO debt. But because of his higher salary and less financial restrictions, he has the ability to spend his money on whatever he wants. I have to be much more careful with my money, because I have more restrictions to deal with. So I’m not sure what the best outcome would be? We’ve VERY independent from each other, financially. We split rent according to our adjusted salaries, we split the check down the middle when we go out, when we go to the store, etc. I also think we like the freedom to buy whatever we want without having to discuss. SO can buy grand, huge things that I think are a waste of money, because it’s HIS money. I can buy stupid things that he may not agree with because it’s MY money. SO and I have a very, very easy relationship. It’s always been really effortless. But this situation is going to be tricky for us. I’m not sure how to handle my student loans in a marriage, too. They’re not his loans or responsibility, so I don’t want him paying it. Anyone have an insight on the best way to handle this, when the time comes?

Post # 55
Member
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Joint everything works for us.  We kept all our previous accounts and added each other onto each one.  We use what used to be my checking account for most of our bills, and I’m on what used to be his old checking account too.  He admittedly uses his old checking account more than I do, but I have access to it.

I will say it would be really difficult with our merged lives to try to spilt everything from separate accounts.  I know it works for some people, but think of all the bills that are shared — rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities, household items, furniture, kids expenses…  It seems like a lot to have to keep all that straight and split it up.

For us we have a lot of financial trust in each other.  We have always been on the same page.  No matter what the financial situation — joint everything, yours mine and ours, or separate everything — it takes a lot of trust in each other and a lot of conversation to come up with a household budget and make financial priorities, whether that is paying down debt, saving for a house, retirement, whatever.

Post # 57
Member
14947 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

All joint.  We are on the same page financially and live well below our means.  Budgetting issues have never come up with our spending, so we dont see the need to have a personal free spending account.  As long as there is money in our checking account, we’re free to spend it and have never even come close to spening all of it.

Post # 58
Member
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

We’re all joint and it works for us. Though this is something that is different for every relationship. 

We put everything we buy on credit cards and they pay it off each month, it’d be far too complicated to separate out how much was spent on bills/joint expenses and how much was spent on personal expenses.

We also consider our money and our debts to be all “ours” and not mine and his. My student debt is our debt. His car loan is our debt. Paying these off are good for both of us. I don’t believe in two partners in a relationship having different lifestyles because one makes more money or one has more debt. 

Post # 59
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We have our own seperate accounts, however, I am listed on his bank account so I can take out bill money or get money orders made for husband if he needs me to.

We like having our own money.

Post # 60
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

A few months before we got married we decided to get a joint checking, savings and credit card.  Before that we were doing everything separately and always paying each other back for things like dinner out, the electric bill and groceries.  We currently use the joint account for all household expenses, date nights, vacations, our pets, our cars…almost everything. 

Our paychecks go into our own separate checking accounts and we transfer 70% to our joint checking/savings.  We then keep the other 30% for our own spending/savings money.  I do not want to have to justify getting pedicures each month or sneakily buy birthday gifts and neither does Darling Husband.  This way has worked great.  I do think there will be a day that we just do joint everything.  We already occasionally put those sorts of things on the joint account and haven’t had any issues.  I think we are both interested in having our own money though.  Keep a piece of independence.

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