Joint Finances – Do you or Don’t you??

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 61
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

fromatoz :  well and like, someone has to do it.  I do it for my family, as do a few other bees in this thread.. but in others the man will do it.  *Shrug* that’s equality for you.

I think it’s only scary if the other partner doesn’t have access to the accounts themselves.  But in most cases, I assume, the non-managing partner is still perfectly able to see the accounts, access the accounts, notice if large amounts of money goes missing, etc..

Post # 62
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

We will probably keep our separate accounts even if we open a joint one for bills later. I don’t like the idea of spending any money that I didn’t earn on the more frivolous items that only I would use (shoes/bags/etc). Those should come out of my paycheck, not our combined income. His ex was fully joint and cleared all accounts and credit cards leaving a 6 figure debt in his name before she disappeared so he’s not likely to ever argue that we need more joint accounts. 

Post # 63
7886 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

yourhandinmine :  to me the thing with loans brought into the marriage is that you should work as a unit to pay them off because you will both be better off for it. He is already subsidizing your life by paying for shared expenses based on salary (otherwise you would live according to the lower salary, split everything equally, and he could sock away his excess like roommates do) so even if the dollars from his paycheck don’t go to Sally Mae he is still helping you pay them in a sense. As soon as we were married we combined finances and then paid of my husband’s school and car loans FAST. It saved tons of money on interest and we have been able to save so much. 


Post # 64
670 posts
Busy bee

We opened a joint account when we moved in together for expenses and then added each other’s names to our separate accounts after we got married. We can see and view money in those accounts and transfer it as needed. If something happens, like one of is hospitalized, is important that we have access so we can ensure bills are paid – lien our mortgage. Once we were married, we worked to pay off any debt together as one unit. DH’s parents split everything and now that they’re retired, one saved more than the other and it’s a bit awkward to hear them talk about purchases. I would never want to be at he point where either myself or Darling Husband couldn’t “afford” to do something with each other because we didn’t work as a team to save money.

Post # 65
1766 posts
Buzzing bee

Everything is seperate for us. We divided up our bills 50/50 based on our similar incomes. We sit down and pay our bills together. So for example, I’ll transfer him my half of rent, he emails me the receipt once he transfers it to them. We sit together to pay the rest, the amounts stay even and we each pay from our own accounts. He handles the grocery money since we shop at costco and their computer hates me and I haven’t been able to get added to hsi membership. 

He spends his money how he wants, I spend mine how I want. As long as we can each cover our bills no big deal. I watched my mom be in a financially abusive relationship to my dad as a child and I would struggle to hand over complete control and he knows and respects that.

Post # 66
9756 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

anniediamondlover :  I think each to their own. Different things work for different couples. This just feels like what’s right for us.

Post # 67
1631 posts
Bumble bee

Our plan is to just add each other to each other’s accounts and then do whatever.  I consider all of our money mutually owned and outside of major purchases like a car or a house don’t think it warrants discussion or notice. 

Post # 68
394 posts
Helper bee

We have separate everything–checking, savings, retirement, credit cards…When we have a mortgage that will be our only joint. It works for us and it makes it easier with the way we file our taxes. He keeps track of all of it though and does our budgeting. By the time I got married I had had to do all of that for years and frankly didn’t like doing it. Our bills have a sort of division to them and I pay about half. But when one of us needs help the other one pitches in because we although we aren’t a single unit we are a team.

Post # 69
46 posts

I think having a joint bank account is a good idea. It’s important to have accountability!

Post # 70
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My FH and I do not have joint accounts, but it’s more because right now it is easier for us to do it that way as right now we do not have joint bills.  The minute we have joint bills we will have a joint account.  Regardless, we consider any money “our money” but I will most likely controll the accounts, because FH and I agree that I am better at managing money than he is.  I still want to keep my own account with a bit of money in it, but that’s more for things that are just for me, or for surprises for my FH.

Post # 71
212 posts
Helper bee

colourmeyellow :  hey buddy – the only thing I’d say here is BEWARE pre-divorce of combining finances. If things were to get nasty with the ex, she can take your cash/claim spousal support

Post # 72
212 posts
Helper bee

To answer the question though, we have a joint account that is used soley for bills and rent. And currently I’m the only one earning so I transfer the precise amount in each month and it’s all gone out again by the 5th of the month. In future we want to obviously be depositing 50% of expenses each into the account each month, plus some exra money so we can have a couple of dates a month. I don’t know if I’ll ever want to go fully combined with money… but as our lives meld more and more I can definitely see how it’s a bit redundant to have deperate accounts. Once my personal debt is paid and we’re married I guess we’ll consider it.

Post # 74
590 posts
Busy bee

Me and my partner have separate accounts and a joint account. We get paid into our separate accounts and then transfer a set amount across into our joint account to over rent and bills. We are considering once we are married in getting paid into our joint account and not using our separate accounts. It makes life complicated when we do anything together (which to be honest is the majority of the time) or when we buy anything for the house, even food shopping. I feel stupid saying ‘I’ll pay for this meal, you pay the next time’. I very very rarely buy things for myself so most the time I am spending money it is because we have having dinner out together or we are buying food, or we are having a drink with friends. I think it’ll also make it easier once we have kids to only use the joint account…I don’t want to be saying ‘I bought the last diapers, your turn now’ haha. Plus we are both really good with money so we don’t have to worry there 🙂 We already have the idea that we both earn is ‘ours’ so it makes sense. 

Post # 75
1064 posts
Bumble bee

colourmeyellow :  I work in finance and I would NEVER give up my own accounts. I have encouraged my Fiance to keep his own. Because:

If you have joint everything, you are at risk for having a little or damaged credit report. In Canada, banks report joint debt to the credit bureau under the name who signed it first on some products (like a mortage). On most contracts the man signs first.  If the woman signs second and doesn’t keep her own accounts, she is “invisible” to Equifax and Tranunion. 

When he dies, or if they divorce, it’s very hard for the woman to establish credit since all of her stuff was reported under his name. Which means she might be unable to get a new home, a loan, a car, a job…

100% joint credit is a TERRIBLE idea. It has nothing to do with trust or believing your love will last forever. Even if it does last forever, one day the husband or wife is going to die and the surviving spouse is screwed.

We each have our own chequing and savings account, plus one joint account. Each of us gets our pay in our own account.

We have seperate credit cards, plus one of my cards which he is added as an “authorized user”, so he has a card for that account to use for any purchases for our home (but it’s only reported to my name with the credit bureaus, I am 100% responsible for the debt). All our monthly bills like home insurance and phone go onto that card.

Every two weeks we split the bill 50/50, and he sends me his quarter of the rent which comes out of my account.

We keep a joint account for monetary gifts addressed to both of us. 


If a cheque is made out to John Smith AND Jane Smith, neither party can deposit that cheque to their solo account.

Through my work I’ve spoken to many annoyed couples who got wedding cheques they couldn’t cash, because if they didn’t have at least one joint account they couldn’t cash the cheque. Plus they can’t cash the cheque until Jane has changed her name.

I always tell people to issue the cheque to one person for that reason.

Either issue it to the brides maiden name, she won’t be changing her name immediately. Or issue it to the groom. Not both of them. (Of course some twits get offended. “Aunt Myrtle didn’t address the cheque to both of us. She doesn’t support our love. What a bitch! Wah!”

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