Joint Finances – Do you or Don’t you??

posted 2 years ago in Money
Post # 76
Member
919 posts
Busy bee

Fiance have our own separate accounts and finances and one joint account for shared bills (mostly house related). We are both well-established financially with our own businessess and investments and have children from our first marriages and will not be having any children together (neither of us wants more children).  I want my estate to go to my children and he wants his estate to go to his (down the road), so it’s easier and cleaner for us to keep most of our finances separate. Add in the confusion of my kids’ child support, his paying for his kids’ college – it would get messy. We keep track of bills and such through an app called Splitwise so that neither of us feels as though things are unfair as far as splitting bills, though we each have a tendency to pay for things and not put it in the app.

 

FWIW, my ex and I had joint everything and in the last part of our marriage, he used that to control me. We followed his job (several moves) and I had to take time off to have our two kids, so he made a whole lot more money that I did, and he would hold that over my head and tell me I couldn’t buy or do things I wanted to do if he didn’t “approve”. So, the thought of having joint finances ever again with anyone never crossed my mind. I always encourage women to have some of their own money, just in case.

Post # 77
Member
647 posts
Busy bee

We don’t have joint accounts because our finances are very different and we are still figuring out how best to manage our situations. I do know that by the time kids come around, hopefully in about 3 years, we will have some kind of joint situation going on. Hopefully by then my fiance’s debt will be gone, and I definitely don’t want to be sending each other invoices for half of diapers, the birth, etc.

Post # 78
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Fiance are I are just switching to joint accounts in January. We’ve been engaged for a year but the big factor in joining our accounts now is that we’re looking to buy a house next year. I think it’s just easier to have one checking/savings. I primarily use cash for spending + groceries also. 

Post # 79
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

colourmeyellow :  I think that if you open your joint account it is mean that you trust each other and this is one of the most import in the relations

Post # 80
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

There is no “his money” or “my money”.  We have a joint account where my entire pay is deposited and we have a savings account where his pay is deposited and about half is automatically transferred to the joint account.  The surplus that accumulates in the savings account acts as an emergency fund.

We each have our own credit cards which get paid from the joint account, and a joint card we collect points on for groceries.

If my credit card bill is high, occasionally he’ll ask me about my spending and I’ll show him, or vice versa. 

Post # 81
Member
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We do joint banking, but I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom so I have no income. I’d be pretty screwed without it haha. Our mentality is very much ‘we are a single unit’, so even before our son it was all combined, with a set amount each month to spend as we will individually. 

Post # 82
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Finances are currently seperate and have been for the few years we’ve lived together unmarried. It’s actually going so well that we plan on keeping things as is after marriage. We each pay half of the bills. We use the app venmo to exchange money when needed. If it wasn’t for venmo, we’d probably have a joint checking.

Post # 83
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

We have joint everything. Except for credit cards. 

Post # 84
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Elliston Vineyards

We opened a joint account when we moved in together. We have always used it for bills, mortgage, etc. We also have a joint savings account (I added him to the account when we got married), that we both contribute to, however, we do keep our spending money separate in our own accounts. I think this just prevents any unnecessary arguments in the long run. 

Post # 85
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We have two joint accounts – spending and savings. I have a buffer account that is in my name and I use that for gifts, unexpected costs etc. It’s been great having joint accounts… We saw it as the epitome of trusting one another and made the decision that the money we earn individually is ours together. This doesn’t always work for other people and that’s fine too.

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