- 8 months ago
Daisy_Mae : Ok, comparing child abuse to waiting for a proposal is pretty insane so I’m not even going to touch on that.
To your general point re: not being able to understand something cause you personally haven’t experienced it….really? I haven’t experienced this particular saga either, but after reading story after story on here, seeing the pain and confusion so many bees go through while waiting, I don’t see what is so hard to understand about it. These women are in love with their partners and they want to be with them forever. In many cases, their partners are paying lip service to the idea of wanting to get engaged too…but then for whatever reason, they keep delaying the actual proposal. Someitmes they eventually come around wholeheartedly, sometimes they never do.
So if youi’re the girlfriend in that situation, you have two choices: take your boyfriend at his word and wait a little longer in the hopes he will get there; or walk away from a seemingly wonderful relationship , have your heart broken, and start all over again. In many cases, leaving is the right choice, but it’s really hard! I have never been a waiting bee, but I’ve had to walk away from a relationship in the past in which I loved my boyfriend but coudl tell he just wasn’t ever gonna step up and be the kind of man I’d want to spend my life with. It was so hard! I did it, but I’m not gonna sit here all smug and act like I’m some super woman because I (eventually, after years!) decided I deserved better than that, while many women on these boards haven’t gotten to that point yet in their relationships.
Again, it’s not so simple as “waiting around for somene who doesn’t want to marry you.” Many of these men, including the OP’s bf, claim to want to marry their gf. It’s not like these men are telling their partner, “I don’t want to marry you and never will, deal with it!” and the gf remains year after year in a state of total denial (well, that can happen too but that’s not what we’re talking about here).
I just don’t undersatnd how you can read story after story on here about this type of thing and not get it, even if your own path to engagement was completely angst-free.