(Closed) JOP replied YES!!! (huh?)

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Our officiant, his wife and son are invited to our reception.  While it is not nessisarily required, I think it is nice to include the person who just married you in the fesivities.  If you sent them an invite, she may have thought you were inviting them to the reception.  Talking to her about it is probably a good call.  Is there room/budget for her and her husband?  Or is this just a surprise? 

Post # 4
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

interesting… they will probably leave after dinner. i think if you invited them and they responded “yes,” you need to assume they will stay for the party.

Post # 5
7490 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think its too odd that she responded yes- since by sending her the invitation you did technically invite her.  Not sure why she would want to come when there will be no one there she knows though.  I would just play it off and not say anything so as to not cause hurt feelings if they assumed that they were invited to the whole thing.

Post # 6
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yes, our officiant and his wife as well as our ceremony musician and his wife are attending our reception.  I believe it’s proper to invite them and not uncommon for them to take you up on the offer.  I wouldn’t be surprised.

Post # 7
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Sometimes officiants do reply “yes!” Their rsvp indicates that they will be attending the reception. Just try to seat them with a family/guests who they will likely be comfortable with.

Post # 8
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

why is it odd that they accepted? i just think i’m missing what is odd…you DID invite them…

Post # 9
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When we booked our JOP I asked him if he normally stayed for the reception, because I would have wanted him to.

He told me up front that no, he doesn’t stay for the reception, but when I asked him if he would come for the rehearsal dinner he said for sure, because he gets to see everyone interacting together on a more intimate level.


Post # 10
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yeah, I completely don’t understand what is odd. It’s nice to invite them, and you did invite them…so why is it odd they accepted?

Post # 12
1696 posts
Bumble bee

It is fairly common not to know people at a large formal affair. Judges, consular officials, military officers and so on often attend formal functions as part of their social life auxiliary to their careers, and can be quite at home at such events. Making conversation with interesting new acquaintances and enjoying casual socialization with people you have just met can become, with a bit of experience of such events, quite enjoyable.

It is generally the less-experienced socialites who rely on already knowing people, in order to feel comfortable at a social event. Too many such people in the same room, and you find guests clustering in little cliques that don’t circulate, staring at each other through awkward silences, or breaking up into couples and chatting about the same things they’d discuss at home over breakfast. You will probably find that your surprise guest turns out to be skilled at making acquaintance and inspiring the other guests to enjoyable conversation. S/he may be just the person to help the two sides of the family merge a little over coffee and desserts.

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