(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 271
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

After being sure I was pregnant, then being sure I was out this cycle (BFNs), I got my BFP a couple days ago. I am really hoping so hard to not have to rejoin/roll call again here, but I’ll be checking back to see how you all are doing. I can’t explain how helpful this thread has been for me. Sending out positive thoughts to all of you.

Post # 272
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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Magpie86:  Congrats again! Thinking of you and your little bean!  FX!

Post # 273
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Magpie86:  Congrats!

Post # 273
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m coming over from the January ’15 board. I hope this is ok that I am here. I was just told yesterday that I had miscarried. I was suppose to be 13w2day but after my doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat on the doppler she ordered an improptu ultrasound that minute. The technician and doctor confirmed there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 9w2d, just 2 days after our first dating ultrasound. I am currently waiting to miscarry naturally. I did a blood draw after my appointment so they can look at my hormone levels and make sure they are going down. I have an appointment next week again to see where I am at. I don’t know when this miscarriage will happen, as it has been 4 weeks since the baby has passed. Does anyone know how long these can take on their own? I am so scared to do this. I don’t really have anyone to talk to that understands the emotions right now.

 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): Currently waiting for my natural MC. Then we will rest as long as my doctor seems fit, which she said was 2 months after my period returned normally. Then we will TTC.

MC History: None.  This was my first pregnancy and first mc. We had gotten pregnant immediately after I stopped the pill in April.  

Issues (if any): None that we know of. I was not experiencing any strong pregnancy symptoms, so I often wondered if my hormone levels were off this entire time.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): Nothing different. We got pregnant so fast, so I assume I’m extremely fertile and so is DH. We are both young and no family histories of anything.

Link to chart:  I never charted, and I don’t think I will start when we TTC again.

What are your biggest challenges right now?  Waiting for my miscarriage to happen. I don’t understand why I haven’t had any bleeding or cramps in the last 4 weeks since my baby has passed away a while ago. It’s hard knowing I still have something inside me. I’m struggling emotionally. I feel crippled with sadness.

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: I’m looking for help on this one. I’m hoping that talking to people will help me, especially talking to those that understand. I’m also going to start working out again. I’m hoping that once I get through this miscarriage, I will be able to feel better.

 

Post # 275
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

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Magpie86:  congratulations!!! Thinkinst good thoughts in your direction!

Post # 276
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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MrsNebraska:  I am so, so sorry for what you’re going through.  I was a Jan 2015 mom too but luckily had an early MC, so I don’t have any experience to give you. Please just know that you’re allowed to be crippled with sadness, for however long you need, and that one day you’ll shockingly find yourself feeling better and seeing the positive side of things again.  Just take it one day at a time and you’ll get there.  Hugs.

Post # 277
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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Magpie86:  Omg, congrats!!! I’m so glad you decided to share your great news with us. I can only speak for myself but it gives me great hope that there is a light at the end of this waiting tunnel for us all. What DPO was it when you got your official BFP? All that said, I will be sorry to see you go as you have been so supportive and insightful when talking to all of us on this thread. H&H 9 months to you!

Post # 278
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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Magpie86:  Congratulations, may this bean be your sticky little baby!!! You give us all hope. 🙂

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MrsNebraska:  I am so so sorry to see you here, especially since you were so far along…after a while you assume you’re safe and out of the woods. Darn it! My MC was early at 6 weeks so I do not know exactly how you’re feeling…having already spread the good news I imagine…that will make your emotions all the worse. I’m so sorry that your baby didn’t continue growing, I’m so sorry you’re stuck in limbo waiting for these horrible things to happen, and I’m so sorry that you have to feel these emotions and don’t know where to turn. I found great support in sharing with my mom, DH, closest friends, and especially my sister, who was the lucky one to hear the news first and when it was so raw. Find someone you love who can support you as you cry, who can comfort you and love you unconditionally to share with. It helps to talk about it. To share your joy and sorrow, to let someone know the depths of your pain. Again, I’m so sorry you have to feel this saddness and that your first babe didn’t make it. Praying for rest and a smooth MC for you. Keep in contact with your doctor and do not bottle up your emotions. Let them out now while they’re fresh. Yell, scream, cry…let them roll out, as I’m sure you have been. Luckily you are young (like me) and I believe that these experiences will only make us stronger and wiser as future mothers someday. All the best to you dear. Please come here for anything, we all, unfortunately, understand the grief you’re feeling now. And after a time, the clouds will diminish and the sun will shine again, I promise.

Post # 279
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Magpie86:  That’s wonderful news, congratulations.  Sending you lots of positive thoughts that this will be your sticky rainbow baby!

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MrsNebraska:  I’m sorry you have found yourself here.  I’m also waiting to miscarry and it is harder than I thought it would be.  It’s hard to say how long it will take, I think everyone is different.  I wasn’t as far along as you though, so I can’t imagine what you are going through.  Big hugs to you.  For me, I was 1 day shy of 9 weeks when I found out that I stopped growing at 6.5 weeks.  That was exactly 2 weeks ago and I still have not passed anything.  I have an appointment on Monday to see where I’m at though.  I hope that you don’t have to wait that long but on the other hand take as much time as you need to grieve.  This is one of the most amazing threads on the bee and I hope you find comfort here. 

Post # 280
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Andthepupmakes3:  
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banana330:  
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Frohike:  
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mojitolady:  
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MrsFairyBee:  
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MrsBananas:  Thanks so much for all your well wishes, ladies! It really means a lot to me.

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mojitolady:  You are too sweet! I was 12 DPO when I got my positive (after BFNs at 9&10 and skipping 11).

Out of respect for the ladies on this thread who are in various stages of grief and healing, I don’t want to discuss this too much here, but if anyone else has questions please feel free to PM me.

Post # 281
Member
2898 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Magpie86:  Congrats! H&H 9 months! 

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MrsNebraska:  Welcome, and I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know how long it will take for the miscarriage process to begin – I was diagnosed with a MMC at 11 weeks, but because the baby was measuring 9w5d, my doctor wanted me to have a d&c. The baby’s growth had been measuring behind at all of my earlier scans, so we calculated that it had passed about five days before the appointment, and the d&c was scheduled for five days later. The day before the surgery (so nine days from the likely fetal demise) I started bleeding a little bit, but I had the surgery before it progressed any further. Were you measuring correctly for dates at your first ultrasound? I have to say, I’m not a doctor but I’m a little surprised your doctor hasn’t offered you a d&c – between the size of your baby and the length of time it’s been since it passed, I’d think surgical intervention would be a good idea. Maybe they will bring it up at your next appointment, if things haven’t started on their own by then?

And as far as inspirational quotes, this is one that really struck me in the first few awful days after my miscarriage:

Post # 282
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

A coworker just announced her pregnancy to a few of us girls who are close friends at lunch. It was so hard to sit and listen to all the happy things I myself thought I’d be talking about. I was nice and had a happy face on for her. And I am happy for her. But the other two at lunch knew I’d just had a MC and this preg. girl didn’t… I felt so bad. She missed the lunch where I told the other two about it last week…I was going to tell her as well today at lunch…but then she had such happy news I couldn’t bring myself to tell her and bring down the mood. She didn’t deserve that, she deserved to be happy and share her happy news, so I let her, then went to the bathroom at work when we got back and had a break down. Like it all just came flooding back. God this sucks…these feelings uber suck!!!

Post # 283
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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MrsFairyBee:  Ugh, so sorry you had to sit through that.  I know how heart-breaking it can be when everyhting comes flooding back.  It just hits you like a ton of bricks and there is nothing you can do.  I’m sorry you had to go through it and hope that it continues to get easier each day. 

I’ve actually had something somewhat similar happen today.  I don’t mean to take away from your story MrsFairyBee: in any way, and am only sharing thing to let you know you are not alone in your feelings.  Today I decided that I no longer want to  wait for a natural miscarriage and went to the doctor to see what to do.  They agreed to give me a d&c and the hospital will call me with an appointment time to get it done sometime in the next 3 days.  Literally, 5 minutes after leaving the maternity clinic (which being there itself was hell), I get a text from my best friend.  She is at the hospital in early labour.  They have since sent her home but is expecting to give birth in the next day or so.  We could easily both be at the hospital at the same time for very different reasons.  My heart is breaking thinking of my procedue and how it is the end, and I so want to be happy for her, but it’s hard.  I too came back to work and had a breakdown in the bathroom.  When will this get easier??

 

Post # 284
Member
2898 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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MrsFairyBee:  
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MrsBananas:  If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey, it’s that the universe has a really sick sense of humor. I’m really sorry you guys are going through it right now. 🙁 If it’s any consolation, I’m feeling so much better now, at six month post-MC, than I felt even a month ago – so it does get easier. Probably not anytime soon, but it does. Hang in there. You’re definitely not alone! 

Post # 285
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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KatieBklyn:  Thanks!!

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