(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 301
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

MrsNebraska:  Thanks hun, DH found last friday rough too, so decided to book a spontaneous weekend away for us πŸ™‚ Can definitely advocate a change of scenery for a few days if you are able… did us the world of good and we’re both feeling stronger today.

Hope you managed to get through DH’s birthday without too much pain and your going a little better today too. FX your doctors can take you out of the limbo soon if your body still refuses to co-operate. Oh and one of my counsellors said that apparently tears contain heaps of endorphins for about the first 6 weeks – our body’s natural pain killer and feel-good hormone, so told us to just freely let it all out as it actually helps do our mental state a world of good. So definitely keep celebrating little wins and positive moments that happen, but don’t feel like you have to hold it all in. Tears are good for us- if anything it just shows how much you cared. I’ll be here if or whenever you need to vent too though. Sending gentle hugs xx

Post # 302
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry I’ve been away for a few days and haven’t responded to each of you who has taken the time out to offer me your support and shared your stories.  Being able to read each one of your posts has helped me tremedously, knowing that so many women have gone through exactly the same thoughts and feelings I’ve been having.  I hope you don’t mind me sharing my story here, I think it may help some other girls who are still in the waiting stages.  It’s probably going to help me too, writing it out.  This is my story.   

My miscarriage started naturally on Thursday evening, ironically just 6 hours after I asked my doctor for a D&C and exactly 2 weeks after finidng out my pregnancy wasn’t viable.  I would have been 11wks this weekend.  Since I had no spotting or cramping leading up to this point, I thought a natural mc was days away, and I didn’t want to wait any longer.  Well that evening the bleeding was heavy and the period like cramps began.  They continuned all day Friday getting stronger and passing more clots.  It was like a heavy period and I was happy to have stayed home from work.  I called the hospital and they agreed that because I was already in the process I could cancel my d&c and continue naturally.  This was a relief as I didn’t want the procedure unless it was completely necessary.

By Saturday morning, the clots became bigger, the size of a toonie (Cdn $2 coin) and I started having contraction like cramps that happened every 4-5 mins.  This lasted for a few hours at a time, giving me a couple hour breaks and then starting up again.  Honestly it was an excruciating pain like I’ve never felt before and all I could do was try to breathe through them.  But still nothing significant was passing, I knew I was waiting for the sac to pass.  That evening the cramps strangley declined and my flow got lighter.  I was even able to go out for dinner with friends. 

Sunday morning came and I was woken up multiple times throughout the night with horrible cramps, worse than the morning before.  I waddled to the washroom, waiting for something to happen but still only clots.  I took multiple Advils and went back to bed.  At 10am another huge contraction woke me up again, I breathed through it, went to the washroom and back to bed.  (this may be tmi but), on my way back to bed, I felt it.  A big warm gush told me I just passed my sac.  Relieved and scared at the same time, I went back to the washroom.  Luckily I had a pad on and was able to see my sac before passing it into the toilet.  I contemplated keeping it and giving a burial but because I had a blighted ovum, I knew my baby was long gone.  I was happy to be able to to say a prayer and a goodbye.  From then on, my cramps were 100% gone and the bleeding has significantly decreased. 

I knew that this was what I was waiting for and I’m glad to mentally move on.  I will make a follow up appointment for later this week but am looking forward to healing, although I know it will be a long road.  I hope this story will help someone else who may be going through or waiting for a natural mc as I know I had no idea what I was in for.  If anyone wants to ask any questions, feel free to PM me πŸ™‚

Post # 303
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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MrsBananas:  Thank you for sharing your story. It will be healing for others as well as yourself after writing it all out. I’m sorry you had to go through all that and am glad the worst is over and things seem to be slowing down. I’m glad you were able to pass it all naturally as well. Continue to take it easy and be kind to your body and emotional state for the next few weeks.

Post # 304
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

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GrannyPantiesRock:  yeah, I know you’re right about expectations. I’m such a planner and apparently a control freak, so I just want to know! I went back to work today though, so that will help me to not dwell on things all the time. I’m sorry you bled for so long! πŸ™ that must have been really, really hard.

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peachcake:  that link is wonderful! I spent an hour looking through it… I like how it tells you about different types of normal situations and about non-normal situations when you should call your doctor. I’m so sorry for your loss too, but I’m happy that your cycle seems to be regulating!

Post # 305
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Hi all,

thank you to everyone who has shared their stories in this thread; reading them made me feel less alone. This morning I had a follow-up appointment for another ultrasound since at my first the fetus measured small. The fetus hadn’t grown at all and my doctor instantly said that the pregnancy wasn’t viable.

She gave me two options: a D&C in her office (not general anesthetic) or chemically-induced miscarriage. I am scared of having a D&C since I know from experience that it’s very hard to dilate my cervix (when I was younger I couldn’t use an IUD for that reason). So I chose the chemical. But now I am second-guessing myself. Any thoughts? 

This was my first pregnancy and I was so excited, but I have been a mess for the last two weeks since we found out the fetus was measuring small.  It provides a modicum of comfort knowing so many other women have gone through this and survived. 

Post # 306
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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fauxfatale:  I’ve never heard of a D&C with out general anesthetic.  I was pretty sore after my D&C so I can’t imagine being awake for it.  I’m assuming she’d give you some sort of local anesthetic?

I had a natural one with my first, but it was early and wasn’t bad, more like a heavy period.  I would have done a drug induced one for the second, but I lost twins @ 9 weeks and midwife was concerned about blood loss plus part of me couldn’t bear to see them.  Are you ok with doing it at home? From what i’ve read the medicated range from bad period to horrible cramping/bleeding.  It’s all a guessing game to how your body will react and process it all.  The healing time for a medicated one would be shorter than with the D&C, but the D&C is over quicker in the sense you know when, how long it will happen. 

Either way recovery will be ups and downs for a while.  Expect to feel completely fine, horrible, sad, happy, sore, tired and if you do end up getting an anesthetic take some laxitives (that was the worst part of my recovery). 

Good luck!

Post # 307
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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fauxfatale:  I’m so sorry. I did the chemical route. I had to take 2 doses because I found out on a follow up ultrasound that the fetus hadn’t passed the first time. The cramps were very srong.. probably more like contractions. But it was manageable. I also had a script for Vicodin, which helped. I wouldn’t just want to have a D&C without any sedation, but if given the option I would have probably chosen a D&C under anesthesia. My job is to aminister anesthesia in the OR and I’ve done tons of D&Cs. The procedure itselfs isn’t bad. It took forever for the lining of my uterus to thin out, so I bled for a LONG time after using the pills and my Hcg was + forever as well. I would have just preferred everything to be over quickly. There’s no easy option. It just sucks. If I may ask, how many weeks along did the fetus measure? It can make a difference because generally the chemical method is easier if things are still early.

Post # 308
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

the fetus measured 6w1d, so pretty early. 

 

The doc said she would give me Motrin and Valium, but no painkillers. I could probably go somewhere else to get the D&C under general anesthetic, but she did not present that as an option.

Post # 309
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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MrsBananas:  I hope you are doing well. When I read your story it helped me through this week of waiting for my doctor’s appointment. Unfortunately I don’t have any progress on the natural mc front. I hope you weren’t in too much pain from it all.

AFM, I just want to thank all you ladies for your support. This past week has been very emotional and mentally taxing. I had a very dark day yesterday, and my husband took the brunt of it. I have never felt so down and felt such dark feelings. I was able to eventually talk through it with my DH though. I also had my doctor’s appointment today after waiting a week to see if my natural mc progressed. I had some slight cramping and some clot-like spotting throughout the week, but none of it was painful. My doctor was ready for me to just keep waiting it out. But I told her that I was mentally and emotionally struggling and I was not “ok.” So she offered me as d&c after telling me the risks. My DH and I agreed that this would be the best option for me, given the emotional struggle I have been going through. I’ve reached the point where I cannot grieve any farther because I am still carrying our baby. I want to close the chapter of this book so my DH and I can both have closure and move on. So my doctor left for about 15 mintues and came back with news that I would have the surgery tomorrow morning. So I am going to the hospital tomorrow morning with my DH and I should be out and done after noon. I’m very sad that this is the outcome to our very wanted and planned pregnancy. However, I am hopeful that after I heal physically and emotionally, we will have a rainbow baby. My DH is ready to try again, and I am hopeful that after my 1st period returns, we can try again.

Post # 310
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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fauxfatale:  I’m so sorry for your loss. I wasn’t given the option of chemically induced mc. I can’t imagine not being under some sort of anethesia though. I know some people don’t go fully under if they do it at their doctor’s office. I tried to MC naturally over the last week, but no such luck. I don’t know anyone who has taken anything to jump start it though. Can you check with your doctor to see if you can get anethesia? It really comes down to what you are comfortable with. I am not comfortable waiting any longer for this, and I don’t think I could deal with it at home.

Post # 311
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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MrsNebraska:  Good luck tomorrow hun! Thankgoodness it’s Friday; I hope you can relax this weekend afterwards. Thinking of you!

Post # 312
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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peachcake:  I also wanted to say thanks for posting that website! It’s helping me feel normal. I still havn’t had my first period after my MC and am having some fertile signs like EWCM and higher temps while at the same time getting neg. OPKs and having a low, firm, closed cervix. I was confused if I was ovulating or not. This passage from the website helped me greatly:

When the spotting ends, you will get strange symptoms. If you use a fertility monitor, it may say you are ovulating, but you are not. You may see lots of cervical mucus coming out, sometimes still brown or yellow, but it is not a fertility sign either. In fact, most of the time, you will not ovulate in this cycle.

These symptoms are due to the body’s attempts to regulate its hormones again. It may kick into gear right away, and you will get a new period in four to five weeks, or it may struggle a bit, and the period will not come for seven weeks. If you chart your temperatures, they will be all over the place. This is all perfectly normal and expected. Eventually your period arrives and can be either light or heavy. There is no “normal” right now.

Post # 313
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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MrsFairyBee:  Thank you so much! I appreciate you thinking of me. It’s so nice of you. I have my fingers crossed all goes well tomorrow.

Post # 314
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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fauxfatale:  I’m sorry for your loss and that you’ve found yourself here.  II have never heard of a d&c without going under and I don’t think I could do that.  Being aware of the sights and sounds involved would be really hard, I think.  For your own emotional state I would really recommend requesting a procedure where you will be under anethesia.  I wish you good luck with whatever way you choose. 

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MrsNebraska:  Good luck today!  I hope you get some closure and can take time for yourself this weekend to heal.  For what its worth, if I had to do this again (God-forbid), I would opt for the d&c right away.  Best of luck to you.

I’m glad to see that I didn’t kill this thread.  After posting my mc recap, I was worried I scared everyone away.  Sorry for that!  I’m happy to update that in the last few days my bleeding has seriously plummeted, to very light spotting.  I’m still testing posititve on hpt’s but am not surprised about that, but the line is quite a bit lighter.  I have a follow up appointment next Monday and will be requesting hcg blood draws to track when I get to below 5.  I’ve also started temping again but still have elevated temps.  I’m prepared for my cycle to be totally wonky but I still want to be aware of whats going on.  Before I ask my doctor, when is it safe to resume sex? 

Post # 315
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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MrsBananas:  Aww, you didn’t kill the thread! πŸ™‚ I think a few of our regular posters just got BFPs and, as one of the long-timers, I just don’t have as much to post about as time goes on. (And I started a blog, so I’m doing most of my venting there!) I’m still sad about our loss, especially as the due date approaches, but I’m pretty well through the worst of the grief… Time really does heal so much. 

I think two weeks after the bleeding stops is a good rule of thumb re: when to resume “marital relations.” πŸ˜‰ I think my doctor asked us to wait for the first checkup, just to be sure my cervix was closed. I hope you’re on your way to boot knockin ASAP! πŸ™‚

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