(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 31
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Roll call: hi ladies

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): recently diagonsed with a missed miscarriage @9 weeks With twins.  Having a d&c tomorrow.

MC History: had a miscarriage @ 5.5 weeks in jan, had one cycle got pregnant again at the dating ultrasound we found out there was no heartbeat and it was twins. Heartbroken right now.  But can’t wait for it to be over, I couldn’t handle waiting around for it to happen naturally or go through it at home.

Issues (if any): none, but OB recommends thyroid testing after this.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): have to wait a few months according to OB

Link to chart: nt active right now but can post later.

What are your biggest challenges right now? Getting through the d&c, quite nervous about it.  Then just hoping it doesn’t happen again. 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: really just resting right now, not looking forward to starting again.

Post # 33
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I suppose I should roll call since I’m having a crappy day and can’t really explain it to anyone in real life… I was all excited because I got out of work early enough to go give blood only to get there and be rejected because I had my MC 5w and 2d ago, not “at least 6 weeks ago,” and the woman got all weepy and then almost made me cry saying how sorry she was that it’d happened to me, and then I walked home (in the pouring rain) only to find that in my excitement to go give blood I had left my keys at work… So I think okay, we have a hide a key, but my DH (who’s out of town) has CHANGED THE COMBO and doesn’t remember it! and my neighbor with a spare key is out of town! Needless to say, when my other neighbor comes into the building I am a mess and she looks at me like I’m crazy but luckily she’s sweet and took me in until my coworker came and brought me the keys… Now I’m home alone and feeling ridiculous for being so upset and at the same time still feeling sorry for myself… I think I need to tell my mom so I have someone on this continent to talk to when I’m having such a bad day (other than my DH who bounced back pretty much right away and doesn’t quite get it)…

 

Sorry for the book but I just wanted to vent somewhere….. 

 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): MC early March but still no AF so…. ?

MC History: This was my first MC and first pregnancy

Issues (if any): None that I know of… I’m pretty healthy and 27 so I hope I don’t have any… 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): OPKs and not being terrified of it happening again? 

Link to chart: I don’t have one

What are your biggest challenges right now? Figuring out how I feel I suppose… Most days I feel fine and think it’s a fluke and won’t happen again, other days I feel miserable and think I’m broken and shouldn’t even try again… 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: None really…. What’s interesting to me is that I’m happy with my life and job so it’s only when I’m reminded of my MC or hanging out with babies that it hits me… When it does though I just go along as if everything is fine and nothing happened (we only told my sister who is 8000 miles away) and hoping to fake it til I make it! I read somewhere that you actually feel happier if you consciously try to be happy, so I’m hoping it works! 

 

Post # 34
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

hey ladies, been away for a while – we managed to get away for a few days on our theme park holiday. It was fun but super upsetting, i never realised how many babies there are at these places and pregnant ladies and knowing that i should have been one of them just sucks! I cried almost every day and couldnt sleep too great but the break did help overall and i think im in a better place now. 

 

So sad to see more ladies here now 🙁 im so sorry for your losses!! 

 

So im starting slimming world tomorrow and just taking each day as it comes, i need something positive to focus on until we get these test results back and losing weight/getting healthy will really help i think. Each day seems to last 100 hours each its awful right now i just want to get on with my life already! 

 

Anyways i am feeling better right now i dont have the urge to cry every day and i managed to return to work on sunday so i kind of feel like the past 6 months never happened. If it wernt for me screaming on the inside every waking moment and having this huge hole in my life i could actually believe the past 6 months didnt happen its crazy. 

Post # 35
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

hey ladies, been away for a while – we managed to get away for a few days on our theme park holiday. It was fun but super upsetting, i never realised how many babies there are at these places and pregnant ladies and knowing that i should have been one of them just sucks! I cried almost every day and couldnt sleep too great but the break did help overall and i think im in a better place now.    So sad to see more ladies here now 🙁 im so sorry for your losses!!    So im starting slimming world tomorrow and just taking each day as it comes, i need something positive to focus on until we get these test results back and losing weight/getting healthy will really help i think. Each day seems to last 100 hours each its awful right now i just want to get on with my life already!    Anyways i am feeling better right now i dont have the urge to cry every day and i managed to return to work on sunday so i kind of feel like the past 6 months never happened. If it wernt for me screaming on the inside every waking moment and having this huge hole in my life i could actually believe the past 6 months didnt happen its crazy. 

Post # 37
Member
32 posts
Newbee

I’ve been having a rough time too. Just wanted to express my thoughts and compassion to all you other ladies who are going through this. 

Post # 38
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I feel bad wishing away these weeks and months of my life. Since my MC in December, I feel like I’ll remember everything I’ve done with the MC in my mind. “That was the movie we saw 2 weeks after the MC.” “That was the wedding we went to 4 months after the MC.” I hate being in this state of mind. I never thought that it would last this long, or that I wouldn’t be pregnant by now.

It’s also cruel how so often you’re left with an F’d up cycle… just for extra fun. I NEVER had a late period and I could have set a clock to my cycles. Now everything is all over the place at a time when you just want to feel normal and move on. I can’t find any hard research as to why this is. Every Google search just leads me to miscarriage forums, and from those it sounds like sometimes your cycle never returns to what was normal for you. What a bite in the ass.

Post # 39
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hi ladies,

I’ve noticed lately that I keep meeting women that are older like me, who weren’t trying or thought they could not conceive in the first place, and they have had a surprise baby.

Since I’m in my fertile window right now, we are BDing and trying to make it happen. But if things don’t work out this cycle, I plan to stop “trying” and just get on with life.  No more charting etc. After the MC I did get a little consumed and started feeling desperate to right the wrong.  I want to be myself again.

Post # 41
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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banana330:  I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m hoping your d&c goes as easy as possible today. I had one in January, and the physical part of recovery was much easier than I expected. Definitely take it easy for at least a few days, though. The emotional part is certainly tougher. I’m so sorry for your losses… what an incredible blow. 

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4littlekitties:  I LOL’ed at your frog joke! I actually can’t think of any good jokes right now, though – which is probably the result of my depression-y brain fog. I was doing really well for a while there, but I kind of feel like I’m sliding back to “crappy.” I’m sorry you’re feeling crappy, too. I guess we can feel crappy together!

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lazybee123:  Oh man, your day sounds so rough! I definitely believe in “fake it til you make it” – I mean, sometimes you’ve got to acknowledge that things are difficult, but mostly I think it’s smart not to dwell on them, if you can. 

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bouncybee:  I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better. Sending hugs!

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hellodahlia:  I’m really sorry you’re going through a rough time too. It will get better, and I hope it gets better soon for you. 

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GrannyPantiesRock:  So much about this experience is just fucking cruel and unusual. And yeah, I honestly thought I’d be pregnant again by now, too. I know it has only been three months, but… urgh. Feels like 300 years. 

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Jen-in-GA:  I totally wish I could get to a place in my head where I was okay with not “trying” – or at least not the guns-blazing, all-hands-on-deck capital-T TRYING that we’ve been doing this month. I’m hoping your BD this month does the trick, but it sounds like no matter what happens, you’re coming to a place of peace, and that’s so awesome. 

AFM, I’m 6 dpo and holding. Feeling super slacker-y and depressed. And obsessed. I had made my peace with getting a BFN last month, but this month was Clomid and really good timing and… I think I’ve always just pinned my hopes on this Clomid cycle. If it doesn’t work, I just know I’m going to feel so hopeless. 

Post # 42
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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4littlekitties:  Sorry about your recurrant MCs.  When there’s no black and white answer as to why we MC, it is enough to drive you insane and it takes a lot of strength to keep going.   Hopefully the RE will uncover some answers for you guys.

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KatieBklyn:  Are you keeping yourself busy?  Sorry youre depressed.  Even though I don’t do it enough I’ve been trying to workout about 3 x week.  It makes me feel better.  I hope this Clomid cycle is successful.

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banana330:  So sorry about your losses.  Sucky reason to bring us together but the ladies here make things easier to deal with. 

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GrannyPantiesRock:  My cycle used to be like yours, so very predictable.  Now every time I think I’m done bleeding, I find out I’m wrong.  Buying black panties in bulk is on my to do list. 

Post # 43
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hey ladies

So the D&C went well yesterday.  I was out for maybe an hour and a bit tired, the hardest part was not eating or drinking all day. 

<br />I’m a bit sore today, and definitely swollen tender belly area. but I’m up and walking around.  I feel pretty at peace with it all.  The hardest bit for me would have been seeing everything, so having it done this way really helped me.  They are going to some testing on the tissue to see if there was a chromosomal issue and I have a follow up in 6 weeks. 

I was so sick through my pregnancy that it’s a bit of a relief that I can see friends again, and eat more than crackers.  Also looking forward to being able to exercise again. 

I’m sorry you ladies are having a hard time. I’m sure some days are going to be tougher than others.

Post # 45
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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banana330:  I’m glad to hear the d&c went well and that you’re on the road to recovery. 🙂

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4littlekitties:  Haha, I know! Chelsea, how could you? Lol. I’m super into Parks & Recreation, and in the last episode, one of the main characters on the show found out that she was pregnant. I was like, “noooooo!” That was my mental escape! I got through the first part of this season, where another character was pregnant, and she had the baby on the show and I thought the pregnancy/baby stuff was over for a while… but nope, there it is again! I mean – it’s fine, I’m not really upset but… it’s comical at this point. 

8 dpo today and trying not to ramp up the anxiety. On the bright side, my husband and I just put in an application for our dream apartment, so lots of my brain is now devoted to hoping we get approved, making arrangements to move and decorating the new space in my head. It’s nice to have something exciting to look forward to! 

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