(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 571
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1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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Andthepupmakes3:  I wish it meant the same thing to me too.  I was excited this last time thinking oh there is no way I can MC again.  I was wrong.  So next time I will not be excited and I’m sure my doctor will be monitoring from the very beginning. 

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minniemluv:  Sorry you are having a hard time.  My EDD for my first MC baby is next month and I have two friends who are due around there.  It’s going to be hard especially because I don’t think we are going to TTC right away so I won’t be pregnant.  : (

Post # 572
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392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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phoebephoebo:  Thank you! So sorry for your losses! Glad to hear your testing was positive and you have some answers. Praying for a less bumpy road ahead. Also, that poem is so sweet. I have a (unofficial) birth certificate from baby J with his foot prints so that really touched me.

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MrsNebraska:  Thank you! I feel like no matter where you’re at in the pregnancy, a loss is such a tragic experience. I have one friend who had a MC and she was able to start TTC as soon as she was given the go ahead. My sister on the other hand needed months to recover emotionally. As for myself, I get anxious just thinking about it, so I know I’m nowhere near being ready to TTC. Even if I am dying to be a mom, I know I wouldn’t be able to handle another loss at this time. I’m sending all of my sticky baby making energy to everyone else TTC! At least I can share in the triumphs of others 🙂

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whitums:  I’m very sorry for your loss! It’s definitely true that it’s hard to imagine when it hasn’t happened to you. One one hand, I wish people would be a little more understanding, but on the other hand, I’m sooo happy for them that they have never had to deal with a loss or struggle with TTC. At least we have the Bee 🙂

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Andthepupmakes3:  Crossing fingers good and tight for you!! 

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desertgirl:  Thank you! Same to you!!

Post # 573
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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minniemluv:  I know exactly how you feel. It seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant or giving birth. I’ve been annoyingly emotional these past couple weeks because I’ve had to buy lots of baby presents. It sure does sting. Sending you hugs!

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Andthepupmakes3:  I see those posts and think, “well, that must be nice.” Seems a little bitter, but to those who have dealt with struggles, that seems to be a normal response. I know I’ll never be one of those girls who gets a positive and can be completely happy and in the moment. There will always be caution and anxiety mixed with that happiness. 

Post # 574
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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desertgirl:  
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PetuniaPie:  Thank you both so much. It helps to know I’m not alone in these feelings

Post # 575
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Have any of you ever purposely avoided someone who was close to you soley because she was pregnant? My DH’s cousin’s wife had an oops and is expecting a month after I would have been due. It’s very hard for me to be around her particularly, even over pregnant friends and coworkers. I think it’s because she’s in my family and I wanted to be the next one expecting in the family…and would have been if not for the MC. DH keeps trying to get together with them and I’m just constantly putting on this fake smiley mask for him because I don’t want to be rude or let him see how much it affects me. I dread…absolutely dread, seeing her with a bump. I feel bad but it’s how I feel…can anyone commiserate?

Post # 576
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925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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MrsFairyBee:  Totally. I’m not going to DH’s friends’ wedding this weekend (distant friend, we’re not very close.) The main reason is that my moods are still very unpredictable and I don’t want to bring that to someone else’s wedding. But another factor is that we would have been sitting with DH’s best friend- his wife announced her pregnancy the DAY BEFORE I would have been announcing mine. We got pregnant just days apart from each other. I absolutely dread having to see her, as terrible as that sounds. I also deactivated my facebook for the time being because I couldn’t stand seeing people’s announcements and baby pictures. You are not alone. I felt guilty for it, until I received a lovely private message from a graduate of this thread, who told me its ok to be selfish right now. So I guess that’s what I’m doing!

Post # 577
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

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MrsFairyBee:  Yes. I definitely feel that way most of the time. I’m forcing myself to spend time with my pregnant best friend though, because I know that someday I will be pregnant too and I will regret having created distance over jealousy and my hard feelings. But god. It’s really hard. 

Post # 578
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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MrsFairyBee:  yes. i have a coworker/close friend who was  2 1/2 months along when I found out about my first preg.  We were so excited, stayed up late on a business trip talking about how awesome it would be to be on a maternity overlap together, etc..  Then I lost it 2 weeks later. I couldn’t look at her below the eyes for months. It hurt to ask her about all her exciting stuff that was happening. And then I lost another, and it got worse for a bit.  But, now I can’t really avoid the big belly but somehow it’s helped me put more distance between what happened to me and what’s going on with her.  Trust me though, I hated myself and our situation when I had to see her every.single.day and still be a good friend to her despite my agony.

Post # 579
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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MrsFairyBee:  Yes, I have 3 other friends that are due on my first or second EDD of my miscarriages.  I have not tried to avoid them and I’m happy for them but I’m not sure how I will feel once they have the babies.  I hope I will be pregnant before my April date.  I think I’m going to wait 2 or 3 cycles so I will not be pregnant for my Nov EDD.  I just have to tell myself that I will have baby.  I see the doctor today for my follow up so I hope I can get some answers. 

Post # 580
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well I’ll be leaving to the OB for my follow up.  I don’t know how I’m going to make it with all those happy pregnant people.  I already feel like I’m going to cry.  Actually I am crying.  Anyways,  any ideas on what I should ask my doctor?  This is my second MC in a row.  Last time I saw him he said testing was expensive and that most insurance does not cover it so I’m thinking he is not going to give me answers unless I have specific questions.  Thanks ladies. 

Post # 581
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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desertgirl:  I’ve lots to catch up on here and don’t have time right now but I said I’d respond to your message. I’d definitely suggest testing after two MCs. Ive had 2 MCs and a cp so know where you are coming from. At least with testing you will have an answer or peace of mind. I dont know exactly what tests we got done but I know there was genetic testing done on me and DH and on the last baby as well as tests for clotting and killer cells. Maybe ask for a list of test with price breakdown so at least you can make an informed decision. Have you tested your AMH And progesterone levels? That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. Best of luck and let us know how you get on x

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by phoebephoebo.
Post # 582
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

On my phone, but I have to share this with someone other than my husband because it’s just so hard to deal with alone. Most of you know we announced to everyone on FB that I was pregnant at 12 weeks. Then a week later we found out about the mmc. Well I was at the eatery at my work today and one of the students that works as an RA in a campus dorm asked to see my shirt (I was wearing a jacket). I asked why and she said she wanted to see if I had a baby bump… Well I told her I wasnt pregnant. she asked if I had lost it and I said I did. She immediately started crying and felt awful. She said she was such an ass hole and wanted to crawl in a hole. I tried to tell her we didnt announce it publicly that i had a mc so it wasnt her fault. I teared up as I was leaving. Last week someone asked me when baby was due.

I would be somewhere well over 22 weeks now, I lost track of my progress on purpose. Just when I think people wont ask they come out of no where with it. Ugh…I’m so down over this now. I was so happy for my POAS next week, but now all my bad feelings are back. I will never announce before 12 weeks again. It’s too much.

Post # 583
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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MrsFairyBee:  Sadly, yes. Now that I’m living out of state from my family and friends it makes it easier to avoid people. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is pregnant or cuddling babies. I’ve been avoiding FB lately, too. 

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MrsNebraska:  I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. A loss isn’e something you want to announce to the world and yet, if you dont, this type of situation can happen. It’s like you can be doing so well to keep it together and then, bam! you’re thrown to the sharks. Dramatic, but I’m sure you understand. I can definitely relate. Months and months after my loss I was going through a drive thru for coffee and a girl that I went to college with asked me about the baby. Instantly, I felt like crap. It was so out of the blue that I replied, “great, thanks.” I couldn’t pull myself together for work after that and took the day off. Another time, I was at Walgreens and a girl who was a friend of a friend (so I really didn’t know her) stopped me and said, “Didn’t you have a baby?” Just like that. Nothing else. I told her no and got in my car as fast as possible. I moved away about a month later. 

Post # 584
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/miscarriage

Hi ladies. I just came across this article, and I wanted to share this with you all. I know that there are often no answers, but I was struck by how many little things I had/have working against me. I went to a RE after only 1 MC and 6 months of trying. They found hypothyroid, celiac, and vitamin D deficiency. My doc had ordered a vitamin D supplement before she even tested me since “almost everyone is somewhat deficient.” Turns out I was very deficient and needed to double my dose. I know that most often there’s nothing we can do to prevent MC, but it never hurts to have information about optimizing our chances of it not happening again. I hope you all are doing well. I think of you gals daily.

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