(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 46
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I did it, i joined slimming world and my vow is to never ever be this weight again. Im gonna share it with you ladies here … 17st 11lb. Horrifying. Still half a stone lighter than i was just after my second miscarriage which is good but by the time were allowed to start ttc again i want to be at least a stone lighter. I also set myself a mini goal of losing 7lb before my birthday on the 6th May. It feels great having something to look forward to and also knowing that if they cant find a reason for our mc they cant have a go at me for being so fat if im doing something about it. I dunno it makes sense to me anyway. 

Post # 47
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

So I know it’s technically still too early to call it, but cycle #3 since the MC is looking like a bust. I just took an FRER today, at 11 dpo, and got a BFN. My chart still looks awesome, but I think it’s probably just the Clomid helping my progesterone out. Booooo. I’m so pissed. Between Clomid, pre-seed, great timing and the novena I was saying, I feel like SOMETHING should have worked. But – no dice. The little insert in the FRER package says it’s 99% accurate at 11 dpo, so I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’re on to the next one. 

Post # 48
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

(The worst part is that, as I was watching the pee run across the test window, I could have SWORN I saw the pregnancy line forming… and then it just disappeared! But for like five seconds, I was like, “YES! I KNEW IT!” and I was so excited. Oof.)

Post # 49
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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KatieBklyn:  That blows. I remember thinking before the MC that it would have sucked to have done everything right and not get a BFP… if I only knew.

Finally got a +OPK for this cycle, again on CD 18. I’m taking a little comfort in the fact that it’s at least the same CD as last cycle, but it’s still late and annoying. And my cycles are still only 29 days, so it’s shortening my LP also. CM is bone dry for added fun. BALLS!

Post # 50
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle):  MC cycle

MC History: Started bleeding on Thursday. Baby’s heartrate was low and was not progressing. I should have been 9wks but baby was measuring only at 6wks.  Today I found out baby had died. I’m scheduled for a D&C tomorrow. 

Issues (if any): No issues that I know of. 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): No alcohol during TTC for me and husband and no alcohol for me during waiting time to see if TTC worked.  I’m going to try and lose a few pounds before we TTC.   

Link to chart: Will post once I start. 

What are your biggest challenges right now? Just accepting that I’m not pregnant anymore and telling my mom what happened. I plan to tell her tonight.  At least I will have someone to talk to.  I was suppose to have my pregnancy reveal on Easter but of course that did not happen so I have not told anyone yet. 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: Just knowing that I can carry a pregnancy full term and knowing I can get pregnant gives me hope for the future. 

Post # 51
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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desertgirl:  I’m so sorry for your loss. Having to deal with this around a holiday is extra crummy. I had a loss around the same time, and while I did not do a D&C (had MC induced with meds), I can tell you that what you’re going through now was the worst part for me. The “in between” where you know the news but have to wait for everything to be over. Definitely ups and downs afterwards, but generally gets better. I wish you comfort and a fast recovery.

Post # 54
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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desertgirl:  hope you’re recovering well from your d&c.  

Im 7days post d&c, I felt pretty good for the first 5 day, minus terrible constipation, but Monday I over did it, started bleeding again and was in a lot of pain.  My advise post d&c, take it easy (no lifting, short walk, no vigorous exercise) for longer than you think, even if you think you feel fine.  I think I just wanted to get back to normal so badly it made things worse. And take stool softeners! Don’t be afraid to use some help to get things moving again.  You’ll feel so much better.

 

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4littlekitties:  wow you guys have had a rough start.  it’s hard to really get the emotional connection for men because they haven’t been feeling the pregnancy.  My dh always said it didnt feel real until he could see the ultrasound or see the bump, neither of which ever happened for us.  I also think the hormone changes make us much more sensitive to the changes happen to our bodies, that might not be visible to the naked eye.  While he’s been great, I think the majority of his reaction is actually based on seeing me so sad, sick or in pain and not the loss of the babies.

Post # 55
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Thanks ladies for your kind words and advice. The procedure went well yesterday. I’m happy to be over with it and ready to move forward.  I know I will have ups and downs but hoping for more ups. I’m worried about what to tell people at work. I just told my boss I am out for medical reasons. Any ideas on what to say? I think I will ask to work from home tomorrow.  

Post # 56
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

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desertgirl:  I got a doctors note, that said I was off dealing with a medical issue.  I don’t think legally they can ask. 

Post # 58
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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desertgirl:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m really glad to hear your d&c went well, and I echo 
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banana330 about taking it easy for a while. If you can take a week off, I’d go for it. As for what to tell folks… I was pretty open about having a miscarriage, but I’m also pretty close with my coworkers. For anyone that I wasn’t comfortable telling, I just said, “Oh, I just had a little minor surgery… all is well now!” Folks usually won’t pry after hearing that. 

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4littlekitties:  Yeah, the loneliness of grief is one of the harder parts of this. My husband knows how I feel and he does the best he can, but he doesn’t really get it. That is a super difficult start to your marriage, though – seems like it’s a new crisis or trauma every time you turn around. I really hope this rough period passes quickly and that someday it’s a distant memory. Yay for pulling the goalie today. It’s a really brave thing to do, and I hope it’s rewarded with a happy, healthy pregnancy. 

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banana330:  How are you feeling now? I think a week after my d&c was when the shock started to wear off and I started feeling extra crappy. I hope you’re getting to avoid that phase, but just checking in in case you’re going through it. 

AFM, I’m 14 dpo, negative pregnancy tests all around and no sign of AF. (I usually have a 12 day LP and get my period on 13 dpo.) I know I’m not pregnant and it’s just the Clomid lengthening my luteal phase and/or the universe fucking with me again, but I am so miserable. It just feels mean. I’m like, come on body, just start bleeding so we can get this show on the road again. And then of course part of me is terrified that I am pregnant but it’s not showing up on tests because it’s a non-viable pregnancy (late implanter, low hcg, something along those lines) and I’m about to start this whole shitshow over again. One more time, from the top! 

Post # 59
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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desertgirl:  I did end up telling my boss because my MC was over the Christmas hoilday when everyone was trying (and failing) to get time off. I didn’t want him to think I was calling off just to avoid working the holiday. I think a blunt “I’ve had a miscarriage and need ## day(s) off” is the best explanation. He was very agreeable and asked no further questions. As for coworkers, tell them whatever you want (appendix, tonsils, gallbladder, GI bug). I think you get a freebie on white lies with this one. Do whatever is easy for you.

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4littlekitties:  Old librarian?!?!?! Puhshaaaw!! I’m just your average 32-year-old who enjoys gigantic underwear. Although I had to bust out something “cheekie” for the under 50 crowd alllllll the way back in my panty drawer so DH could stand to hump me for the umpteenth time in the last 2 weeks. He’s tired of being used for TTC sex. We’ve also had a crappy first few months of marriage. And no, they don’t “get it” at all. To men a MC is just a delay, not really a loss of an individual baby. I’ve given up on holding DH accountable for the same grief that I feel. He’s just not wired for it. I’ve worked in the ICU as a nurse… so I know how horrid the circumstances of a long term stay in that unit can be.

My DH lost his mother a year before we met and I can tell you that the sadness of my MC in no way competes with that loss in his mind. It’s just something that’s different for men and women.

And not that this is any consolation, but I once took care of a woman (she was having some kind of minor outpatient surgery) who had a history of 15 miscarriages/pregnancy losses…. She also had 3 healthy children. I think you’re right that women give up on trying. But despite what happens in my future, I will that in my mind. It’s incredibly rare for someone to miscarry every pregnancy if they keep trying.

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KatieBklyn:  That sucks donkey dick. I took about 10 FRERs last cycle and I just stared at the test as though I could burn a second line with the intensity of my eyes. It was really crushing. It was just so damn easy the first time, I feel like something else must be wrong with me for it not to happen again. I’m sure this being your first cycle on Clomid only added to that crummy feeling. I keep telling myself the statistic that even with a perect cycle and perfect timing, there is only a 20% chance of conception. It’s just hard to believe when so many girls seem to have beginner’s luck or get pregnant by accident.

Post # 60
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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GrannyPantiesRock:  Yeah, at a certain point I wouldn’t have even trusted a line on an FRER because I’d know that it was only burn marks caused by the lasers emanating from my eyes. I just don’t get it – it worked the first time with an obviously defective egg, we had good timing this cycle and I definitely ovulated… so what the fuck? I feel like I’d even be ok if I knew for sure it wasn’t going to happen for a while but it was going to happen eventually – like if God parted the clouds and was like, “Thou shalt conceive in February 2015” I’d be like, “Okay, cool! Thanks, God!” because then I could just fucking relax and stop the whole scheduled sex, anxiety-filled two week wait, spending zillions on FRERs cycle. 

Also, I’d like to send an extra special Fuck You to the Mother’s Day ads piling up in my email inbox. I plan to spend Mother’s Day this year hiding under a blanket with a bottle of wine and a box of Kleenex. 

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