(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 5

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 91
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1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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Black_bird:  Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.  I remember you from the November board.  Do you have a follow up Dr. appt coming up soon?  I did not have a natural MC so I’m not sure what you should expect.  Hope the bleeding and cramping subside soon.  Thinking about stuff you can do now is what helps me too.  

Post # 92
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62 posts
Worker bee

 

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desertgirl:  Yes, I remember you too. I don’t have a doctor appointment coming soon. The doctor in the emergency room only told me to call if I still bleed a lot on thursday or if I have a lot of cramping. I am kinda going crazy thinking I may be still carrying a dead baby in my belly. On the other hand, I know that if I have to flush it, it will be so hard. Either way it is sad and disturbing. I’m looking forward to see all this behind me.

And I’m sad for all of you too. Those things should never happen.

Post # 93
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62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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banana330:  hey, I can’t help but keep an eye on your posts since I’m in the same boat with losing twins around the same time. I’m 18 days post d&c, I finally quit bleeding/spotting a couple days ago. My pregancy tests are still positive though. I already had my follow up appointment. I didn’t know what to expect, they didn’t run any tests or do blood work. The doctor just talked to us to see how I was doing suggested we wait til after I get 1 period to try again. Just to reset the body. I have no patience though and it is killing me to think I might ovulate in a few weeks and we have to “waste” it. I keep thinking if we struggle to get pregnant again I will then convince myself that this upcoming ovulation would have been the lucky one lol. This whole ttc/miscarriage stuff is truly making me a psycho. I’m right there with you on the hurry up and wait feeling. 

Oh and if I am still getting positive hpts next week I might call and see about having my blood drawn. I imagine that my hcg levels were extra high because of two babies……but does the body eliminate it just a quickly as one baby or not? 20 years from now they will probably have drug store pee sticks that tell you your exact hcg levels lol. 

Post # 94
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371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

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TigerLily13:  I’m actually surprised my levels are dropping so quickly, i’ve read anywhere up to 4 weeks for them to go down.  They aren’t doing any follow up blood work for me though, so it’s just based on dollar store tests.  I would think b/c it’s twins it would take longer, but I did kind of feel like it was pregnancy in reverse.  My symptoms reversed, morning sickness disappeared, then sensitve boobs appeared like it did in early pregnancy, it was strange.  

I’m pretty sure you won’t ovulate until after they’ve dropped, then two weeks later get af.  From what i’ve read sometimes it can hang around at low levels for a week or two.  Worth an ask to see if they will check them to ensure they are dropping correctly. 

The OB I saw said they dont’ normally do testing until after 3 MC but was willing to do some thyroid and ultrasound testing (but not clotting disorder or other testing), and they tested the products of conception from the D&C so we’ll hopfully get the results when I go for my follow up (6 weeks post D&C!). 

I know that frustration, you just want to start again, NOW! My biggest fear is at my check up they will say wait longer. 

I do somehow feel like it would be good for my body to have one natural AF just to make sure things are good to try again.  I worry that if I didn’t and got pregnant and then something happened it would be too much.  After my last miscarriage even though I ovulated about a week later than normal and had great timing, I still didn’t get pregnant until after my first natural AF.  So maybe my body knows if it’s ready or not. 

How are you doing emotionally? I’d say 90% of the time I’m ok, but sometimes a commercial or even just a wandering thought will make me sad and cry.  Same goes for my frustration, some days i’m great others I just want to move forward and try again!

Post # 95
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hi all, I’m unfortunately joining you all here. ๐Ÿ™ First of all, just wanted to say how sorry I am about everyone’s losses—such a terrible situation to be in.

Here’s my quick story: My husband I got married in November 2013, and started trying in January. We were so excited to get pregnant on our 3rd cycle trying (first cycle charting using temps) with a BFP in early April. A couple blood tests early on looked good—HCG levels were rising normally. No spotting, bleeding, etc. Last Friday I went in for my first US–I was around 7 and a half weeks. Unfortunately, the US showed an empty gestational sac. They did an internal US as well, and the same—sac but no baby–blighted ovum.

The past few days have been really hard on my husband and I. Today is the first day I haven’t spent most of the day crying. Still, we know we want to start TTC again as soon as possible–we are ready to be parents. My D&C is scheduled for tomorrow.

Those of you who charted right after—did you count your D&C day (or day of natural or medically induced miscarriage) as CD1? I’ve read that some people do that, but others set the first day of having back to normal HCG levels (I guess <5?).

Also, did you try right away, or wait one full cycle? My midwife reccomended waiting a full cycle, but said I could talk to the doctor performing the D&C about it. I had long cycles before (38-40 days), so letting any chances go by feels like torture. If the doctor is really firm about there being a medical reason to wait, then we will wait one cycle, but if its just for dating purposes, I don’t think we will prevent before the first period. 

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): MC cycle

MC History: diagnosed with blighted ovum on 5/2 (first pregnancy)

Issues (if any): The doctor thinks this was just a chromosonal fluke, so hopefully no issues.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): charting using BBT–that’s it for now

Link to chart: not sure how to link this

What are your biggest challenges right now?: Just coping with this loss emotionally–getting over the idea of our Christmas baby. Being happy for those around me who are having healthy (unplanned) pregnancies—horrible of me I know, but it’s hard not to be bitter sometimes. Planning my sister’s baby shower.

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: N/A

 

Post # 96
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2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Magpie86:  I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your D&C goes smoothly tomorrow… I found the physical recovery from mine even easier than I’d expected. Be sure to take it easy for a few days afterwards, though – whenever I moved around too much, I got a lot of discomfort. Snuggle up on the couch for a little while and just take it easy. 

I counted the D&C as cycle day 1, but I also noted when my hcg had dropped low enough to no longer get a positive on an FRER. I ovulated about 17 days after getting a negative test. As far as I know, there’s no medical reason not to TTC before your first period; that is, your risk of miscarriage is not any higher than normal. It is important, though, to make sure that you’re emotionally ready to try again, and I think it’s also a good idea to chart if you’re going to TTC again before your first period. If you don’t know when you conceived, your doctor won’t be able to tell if your baby is measuring behind or on track, and that can cause a lot of needless anxiety and confusion. But if you know when you ovulated, it’s probably not as much of a concern.

We chose not to really try again until after my first period. We did have sex one time about three days before I ovulated, but that was just sort of by chance. I have to say, I appreciated the closure that first period brought – I’m sure I would have been thrilled to be pregnant, but it was nice to have that sort of symbolic end to the post-miscarriage period. (No pun intended.) But you should definitely do whatever works for you – if trying again right away is what’s best for you, go for it. 

Hang in there, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 

Post # 97
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1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

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Magpie86:  I’m so sorry for your loss.  It’s been almost 2 weeks since my D&C.  Try to take it easy and take as much time off from work that you can.  I ended up in the ER because I was bleeding and had lots of clots.  Everything was fine but I think I probably over did it and that is why I was bleeding.  That was a few days after the D&C.  I’m going to wait till July to TTC.  Maybe earlier depending on my cycle.  I started charting and started my calendar on the day of my D&C.  I didn’t take my temps till a week later.  I’m hoping that my cycles will stay the same but who knows.  I hope everything goes well tomorrow. 

Post # 98
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371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

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Magpie86:  Sorry for your loss.  I wasn’t too sore from my D&C right away, and I found myself eager to get back to normal life.  Unfortunately I over did it, and was bleeding, spotting and sore for about two weeks.  I’d take it easy (really easy) for at least a week then slowly add exercise etc back.  Also, not sure this will be an issue for you but I was super constipated after surgery, I took stool softeners but should have done more to get things moving quicker. 

My doc said pelvic rest until 5 days after bleeding (about two weeks), and i don’t have my follow up until 6 weeks and i’m to wait until then.  I’d ask what they reccommend. 

My first MC was early and natural, I counted the day I started bleeding as cd1, I ovulated 5 days later than normal.  We tried that cycle but it didn’t work.  Who knows if it was my body not being ready or not.  After my first AF my cycle went back to normal and we got pregnant again.  I made it til 9 weeks when the twins died.  I marked the D&C as CD 1. 

I know how you feel about wanting to just get back in to it.  For me, I think after a D&C, the amount of healing your body needs, a full cycle would feel like a clean start and ensure there is a healthy environment for conception.  I don’t see an issue with not waiting, because I think your body will only do what it’s ready for.  We’re going to wait, just to make sure. 

Good luck tomorrow. 

Post # 99
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1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Black_bird:  Oh that is the absolute worst!! I had to take pills to induce a MC, bled all over the place, and then went for an ultrasound 1 week later and had to repeat because it was still there. I totally understand where you’re at. it’s such a ghastly feeling. I hope this will be over for you soon so you can have closure and begin to move forward.

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TigerLily13:  I did not have a D&C, but it took 2 months so get rid of the Hcg. I once took a FRER and had a blood test on the same day. Faint positive on the FRER with an Hcg of 6… I shit you not…SIX! Now I’m POAS addict because I’m convinced those things can give you at least a faint poisitve about 20 minutes or so after implantation. I began using OPKs and temping during my MC cycle so I knew when I ovulated, which was comforting, and we tried against doctors orders. I think a lot of it has to do with them wanting to be able to accurately date your next pregnancy.

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banana330:  I’m glad you’re able to get at least some testing done. I wish I had known what/if something was wrong with mine. I bullied my doc into doing all the fancy blood testing and got some annoying borderline hypothyroid diagnosis. My levels weren’t even outside of normal ranges, but they prescribed some low dose levothyroxine.. for good measure I guess.

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Magpie86:  Oh geez. It seems like everyone here has a sister, SIL, or best friend with a healthy pregnancy. Don’t feel bad about being envious, jealous, etc. Those feelings are totally normal. I sometimes feel like other people are pregnant just to be spiteful to me, which of course isn’t true. I found it helpful to chart and use cheap OPKs because I then knew when I ovulated and when to expect AF two weeks later. You can delete the chart after the MC cycle if you don’t want ti to mess with your averages on FF.

Post # 100
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528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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KatieBklyn:  
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desertgirl:  
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banana330:  Thank you all so much for your kind words and for sharing your experiences. It’s so nice to hear from other people who are also going through this—I think it’s really a difficult thing to understand unless you’ve been there. I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, and my fingers are crossed for you all moving forward.

I will definitely take it easy for a bit after the surgery. I’m an adjunct instructor at a couple colleges, so I’m lucky in that the semester is over, so now I’m just working from home on grading, research etc. and don’t have to go in to work at all.

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GrannyPantiesRock:  Thanks for validating my feelings about this stuff. ๐Ÿ™‚ Obviously I’m happy for all of them, and would never wish a miscarriage/complications on anyone, but it’s hard to not think, “why them and not me?” especially the people who weren’t trying for the pregnancy and didn’t really want it at this point in their lives…again, not that that makes them less deserving, but it doesn’t feel fair. It’s nice to just get these feelings out here so I can let them go a bit. Thanks for the advice about charting too.

Post # 101
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hey ladies. I want to wish everyone here a happy Mother’s Day, whether or not you have any children here on earth today. I know that not everyone is comfortable thinking of themselves as a mother after a pregnancy loss, but I think we are. We carried our babies in our bodies while they were here, we loved them and love them still. That’s what mothers do. 

I hope everyone is taking gentle care of themselves today. I’ll be having a nice glass of wine with DH when he gets home from work, and spending some quiet time cuddling up with him too. 

Everyone here is in my thoughts today. <3

Post # 102
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62 posts
Worker bee

 

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KatieBklyn:  that is so toughtful, I cried reading your message.  But you are right. Happy mother’s day to you too.

Post # 104
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

Thank you for that wonderful message, happy Mother’s Day to you and to us all.

Post # 105
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

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GrannyPantiesRock:  on an aside, do you know how to reset FF? I’ve just started temping again who knows where in a cycle just to get restarted and in the groove, so I’m on cycle day a million ๐Ÿ™ I saw your post above and figured you might know ๐Ÿ™‚

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