(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 181
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1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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Andthepupmakes3:  Haha THANK YOU! It’s the easiest step in parenthood so it’s kind of alarming. Hope all is going well for you. I have my fingers crossed for your rainbow baby! I hope to be able to join the sister thread in the coming months as we will resume TTC next month! Eek!

Post # 182
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

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Andthepupmakes3:  Your comment about the pregnancy tests made me laugh so much. I think I posted my positive one in the June Mamas thread but I did not start my own thread lol 

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Kay1126:  I love my little furbaby but he tends to favor DH! He barely cuddles with me lol he has been coming up to me a little more these past few days. I told DH last night that if I am not PG by memorial day that I am getting another dog. Our lease only allows our one dog so I really can’t get one now anyway. I was just going to hide it from them. My landlords are in Europe for 90% of the year lol I have summer Fridays where I get out at noon so at least I could be home with the pup a bit longer on the weekends.

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MrsNebraska:  Sorry I didn’t see your posts about moving a few pages back. I know a lot of couples where deciding where to live is a HUGE stressor on their relationships.  My girlfriend’s husband had refused to leave Brooklyn – where he grew up – for years and she wanted to live in the suburbs. It took a bunch of stuff breaking around the apartment for him to seriously start considering the move lol I bet when it is closer to May and you are forced to decide to stay or go that he will finally decide. Men are sometimes like that…they don’t like plannign and they don’t like doing things unless they HAVE to. At least my husband is like that. It sucks when you want to know where you will end up. It’s stressful thinking about it Hang in there!

Post # 183
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s been a while, thought I’d see how everyone is doing. This is my first holiday season on this thread and if the way I’m feeling is any indication, this can potentially be a difficult time. Seeing people you don’t normally see, family and friends, can bring painful reminders or questions about very personal things. DH and I took a break from TTC after my mmc in August/D&C in early September. I feel like I’m in a better place, though there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how far along I should be. Since then, we’ve moved into our first house and I’ve lost 13 pounds, working on losing a little more (I’m slightly above the normal BMI for my height.) We plan to TTC again after this cycle (I’m currently on CD12). I will be seeing a few pregnant friends/relatives I’ve managed to avoid and it makes my stomach turn that I have a hard time being happy for them without being jealous or bitter. My mom also seems to think I need more time to heal “emotionally” when I think getting pregnant is the only thing that will truly make me complete, so I am choosing to keep our renewed TTC attempts to myself. Overall though, I feel like I’m in a better place. How is everyone else doing?

Post # 185
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Andthepupmakes3:  4littlekitties:  Wishing you two the very best!  You both deserve it.  I will be stalking you both. : )

SoontobeMrs0831:  So sorry for your loss.  I’m glad your surgery went well and I hope you are healing nicely.  I too had to wait for my doctor who was late for my D&C.  They did not tell me why he was late but I do remember the nice pregnant lady taking my blood before the procedure. It’s just not fair how life works sometimes.  

MrsNebraska:  Ugh!  What a jerk!  Some people just should not talk!  Sorry you had to go through that. 

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Kay1126:  Congrats on the house and losing the weight.  That is so hard this time of the year.  I lost weight and then gained all back with Thanksgiving.  oh well.  Good luck this cycle.  Sometimes it’s better to keep to yourself instead of getting unwanted opinions.  Glad you are feeling better. 

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GrannyPantiesRock:  Sorry this is such a crap time of year for you.  I thought I would have a baby for Thanksgiving this year but of course that did not happen.  I’m glad your HCG is going down and you will be able to TTC.  Wishing you the best of luck! 

AFM: I had my RE appt yesterday and most of my blood work came back good except my Vit D was low.  He has a 45 day plan for me that includes several supplements and medications to try and get my immune system up because he thinks that might be the cause as well.  So I will not be TTC till Feb or March now but if this is what is needed for a sticky baby I will take it.  Hope everyone enjoys their holidays as much as you can.  Heres to hoping 2015 is our year! 

Post # 186
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1831 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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desertgirl:  My Vit. D was low too. I started taking supplements (whatever the standard dose is in OTC pills), and 1 month later it was still too low. I was told to double it and have been ok since. Apparently just about everyone tested for Vit. D turns up deficient. It’s a common thing and often overlooked. There’s some study I saw that had an overwhelmingly better result for IVF transers when the patients took vit D.

I think I’m officially the only one from last years board to still be here.

Post # 187
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1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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GrannyPantiesRock:  Couldn’t agree more. My mom has been through a lot of loss in her life, but never the loss of a child. She saw how hard I took it and I think she’s trying to prevent me from more hurt if this were to happen again. I love her dearly but it’s definitely unsolicited advice. I don’t really bring this up around her. A healthy pregnancy and a baby to hold is really all I want and the only thing that would comfort me right now. As for you, I’m really sorry you’re still around here. I wish nothing but good things for you in the new year, and that this will be your last holiday season spent dealing with this. I hope you have your rainbow baby really soon.

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desertgirl:  Thank you so much. The weight loss was/is definitely hard, but I’m still beating myself up that I’m in this situation to begin with! I had been at my goal weight for 2 years and it all went to hell after my wedding. Shocking, right? And yes, I’m definitely keeping to myself about TTC but still seem to be getting unwanted opinions from my mom! But we’re super close so I guess that’s what I get. I’m sorry you have to wait a couple of months to TTC again. I hope it’s all worth it and that you get pregnant easily once you start again. I’m really hoping this will be the year for all of us. You’re all in my thoughts. I don’t know what I would have done without this wonderful group.

Post # 188
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions lately. My dad came down and took DH and I out for lunch this past weekend. He straight up asked us if we are trying to get pregnant again. I told him no. He was asking about us moving and I told him we weren’t sure what we would do, which is unfortunately true because DH and I have stopped talking about moving because it always ended in fights. So I told my dad we weren’t TTC anymore because we weren’t sure what we would be doing in May. Then he asked me if I was ok medically to TTC. Sigh. I get that he’s concerned but last time he visited he asked the same exact questions. I could not regret more telling everyone about our 1st pregnancy. I regret it every day, which sucks. And a girl I graduated with just announced her pregnancy on FB and she’s due on my birthday, 6 days before my 2nd EDD would be. I’m just struggling through emotions that I should be pregnant now from the first time and then pregnant from the 2nd time.

And we will be around our baby nephew over Christmas eve and Christmas morning (his first Christmas). And my Brother-In-Law wants us to drive 4 hours for his 1st birthday. DH wants to go but I honestly don’t because it is right near my EDD. I am feeling angry, selfish, and emotional. I wish EVERYONE would respect that I don’t want to be around babies or children, and I don’t feel like I should have to hold my nephew at all. I tell DH this and he says he understands but he doesn’t help deflect questions or baby holding! He encourages us to go to the stupid birthday party. I wish they’d leave me out of the baby stuff. 🙁

Post # 189
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

So I’ve been MIA because honestly I just couldn’t handle being on the boards and seeing the BFP and am I pregnant threads right now.  Last week my cousin passed away, so after loosing my dad 4 weeks ago, finding out about the MMC, my cousin passing and my DHs family being jerks (we haven’t been on speaking terms with his parents for almost a year) we were told by his grandparents that we weren’t welcome for Christmas because if we go my ILs won’t attend.  On top of all that I started misoprostol on the weekend.  I know the OB said it would be painful but honestly it was a nightmare.  I couldn’t even hold water down, when I tried to take the pain meds they would come right back up.  I’m still dealing with a lot of guilt as well, even though I know that my baby had passed and had no heartbeat, I can’t help but feel like I killed my baby. 

So I’m just laying low for awhile, wishing that the holiday season passes as quick as possible so a new year can start that is hopefully a lot better.  I thought I’d want to take a break from TTC to honestly I think I’m ready next cycle, at this point I feel like I could use something happy to look forward too and so could my family.

Post # 190
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1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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MrsNebraska:  Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. I totally understand not wanting to be around babies and children. I’m with you. Fortunately for me, there are none in my immediate family- DH’s brother, my sister and my brother are all either single or in casual relationships with no babies on the horizon unless an accident occurs. Chances are, your DH doesn’t fully understand how much it bothers you simply because he’s a guy. He didn’t have the same attachment that you had to the pregnancies. I think all you can do is try to explain your feelings better when you are calm/in a better state and maybe he will understand a little better. I’m struggling with the idea of being around a few pregnant women (friends) this holiday season and DH is reluctant to pass up on seeing people because of that. He’s skipped out on invitations up until this point and we’ve told some of our friends what happened so they’d understand, but I think I need to be the one who starts compromising now, as difficult as it will be. Sigh… Can’t we all just fast-forward to a point in time when this stuff won’t be an issue for us anymore?!

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GonnaBeAFind:  I am so sorry about your cousin. I really hope you get a break from all of the tragedy and can get a fresh start in the new year. I definitely shyed away from these boards in the beginning to avoid BFP threads. I also deactivated my Facebook and haven’t been able to get myself to re activate it yet because I don’t want to see pictures of peoples’ babies. Just do what you can to help yourself. I needed time away from TTC to cope and get in a better place, but if TTC right away will do it for you, then go for it. I hope the worst is behind you, I really do.

Post # 191
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193 posts
Blushing bee

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Kay1126:  I love Christmas but  this year it is definitely difficult. I am not enjoying it as much as usual. I was planning on announcing to everyone on Christmas eve/day. I was so excited to have a little belly. Instead of excitement I am an emotional wreck.  I don’t like all the Christmas cards I see with everyone’s babies on them. I don’t want to go out to public places or parties. On top of the emotional part the physical part is not fun. Last week after the D&C I was tired and I had some really bad cramps a few days (that kept me up almost crying). This week I am bleeding. I hate wearing pads and its a constant reminder of the loss..and I am not worried it won’t stop or that it will last longer and I wont start my cycles.                  Congrats on the weight loss!  i wish I was allowed to work out but doc said no physical activity for 2 weeks after surgery. I gained 5 lbs post wedding on my European honeymoon then 10 lbs while i was pregnant. I am so fat its horrible. It is much worse being fat and not pregnant then gaining weight while pregnant. Now I just feel like poo and I eat when i am depressed so the number on the scale is not getting any lower. I am doign a juice cleanse after Christmas and then no carbs. I am hoping to lose all this weight fast. It took me 6 months to lose and keep off 15 lbs for my wedding! I am only 5’0” tall so this weight shows on me a lot 🙁 

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MrsNebraska:  I know exactly how you feel. MY best friends and I have a “friends” christmas dinner every year. We plan it 6 months in advance. These friends of mine ALL had babies over the past 6 months. 3 babies one toddler actually were supposed to be at this party. I wanted to not show up but I couldn’t back out. I had to go to it 5 days after the surgery. I drank almost a whole bottle of wine to keep it together. I usually go upstairs with them when they breast feed but I could not handle that and I actually told them I was not comfortable holding the babies. They understood that. It killed me the whole time.  I think that is why I don’t want to go places and just stay home. i don’t want to see babies if I don’t have too. I didnt go to DH’s best friends birthday dinner cuz i cant see my bridesmaid who is due on 12/31. I don’t think I can visit her in the hospital. i will just send something to their house. I am sure she will understand. I am now dreading christmas eve because I am worried my cousin may be pregnant and annouce. I think I will lose it. I’m going to try and see if my mom knows anything about the situtation. I actually started balling watching Nashville mid season finale seeing Hayden full on PG. I jsut want my little family too. In regards to your dad, it must be real hard to have him asking you all the time about TTC. I have a really strong personality and if that happened twice i would tell my dad to not mention it to me again in a very serious tone. Parents can sometimes be way to overbearing. They are concerned for your welfare but sometimes they don’t think before they speak.

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GonnaBeAFind:  I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. I hope 2015 is a better year for all of us!  I hear you on the PG announcements…One of my friends from highschool announced on Fb that she was pg and due in june…it sucked to see that post ..that was supposed to be me! 

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GrannyPantiesRock:  Having a MC or a MMC during the holidays is the worst.  I feel like it would have been easier to deal with if I had actually miscarried when the baby passed at 8.5 weeks .. not 4 weeks later. it would have given me more time to heal (emotionally) instead of having Christmas around the corner. Plus I would have stopped eating like a pig.   I want to tell myself to have hope that I will have a baby by next Christmas but I can’t. My besties are like – oh you will be super fertile after a MC , you are so going to have a baby soon.  Of course that is easy to say when you have a baby in your arms 🙁  Not as easy to believe when you don’t know why this happened to you ya know.  In regards to waiting after a D&C. My doctor said to wait until after you get your first period. and start the next cycle. . My friend had a regular MC and her doctor told her to wait but she didnt listen and got pregnant befor her period came. her baby is fine. I think I will start right after my period comes (if that happens cuz I also read that for it to count as your period you cant have bleeding for 20 days straight after the d&c and I am still bleeding so it may be a while. ) I think you should be good to go as long as you have had one regular period since the surgery. Lots of luck ttc in the new year!

Post # 192
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I feel silly roll-calling in this board, so many of you have gone through much more than I have, but I don’t feel like I belong anywhere else right now. And I just want somewhere to vent and ask questions if needed.  

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): MC cycle

MC History:  This is my first MC.  We were TTC for 6 months when I finally got a faint BFP on Thanksgiving.  I went to my GP to confirm the following week and had two good HCG levels.  Later in the week I started spotting brown and had some mild/ medium cramping.  I went back into my doctors the following week and was told that my HCG level had dropped, and that I will likely MC.  I finally MC on December 15.  

Issues (if any):  shorter LP (9-11 days on average) 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):  Lose some weight.  B6 for my short cycles, possibly Vitex, more playing around with vitamins and supplements.  I’m so sick of feeling like a science experiment.  I was so happy to be done with that.  

Link to chart:  http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4aea00  

What are your biggest challenges right now?  Getting through Christmas.  I was so excited to be announcing our pregnancy to our families for Christmas, and now I just feel empty.  I am a little fearful that my family will ask when we are planning to start a family and so on.  Normally they stay off our backs about it, but with this MC happening so close to the holidays I just have more anxiety.  I also finished up/ am finishing up other things soon with school and my student teaching placement, so it feels like everything is ending all at once.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes:  I’m trying to focus on getting healthier and losing some weight before we can officially start trying agian.  I just want my sticky bean.  

 

Post # 193
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): rest cycle

MC History: I have a 13 month old daughter but have had 2 consecutive MC’s within the past 6 months.

Issues (if any): My OB hasn’t noticed any definite issues. He only says I may still be recovering from having my daughter…I think there may be an underlying issue though.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): Not really sure what else I could do. I’ll continue taking my vitamins, eating healthy, drinking lots of water, etc. If there is anything else I should do to help then I’m more than willing

Link to chart:

What are your biggest challenges right now? I am no longer sure when I want to TTC. I would love to have at least another child, but I’m afraid that I’ll miscarry again. I’m not sure that I’m emotionally ready to handle another loss. My last miscarriage happened on my birthday, and my husband had bought me “pregnancy-related” gifts, which made the situation even worse for the both of us. He’s ready for another try, but I am now more hesitant. I think right now it’s just a matter of being emotionally ready before trying again.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: I am grateful for my little girl. She has definitely taken my mind off of both MC’s, and I feel like my normal self when I’m with her.

Post # 194
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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SoontobeMrs0831:  I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I bled on and off for a week after my D&C. It was definitely a terrible reminder of everything. I started to heal a bit emotionally once that was over. I stress/emotional eat as well. I had gained a little after my wedding, then quickly gained 10 lbs after stopping the pill, then gained a few during pregnancy and a few after due to emotional eating. It took a long time for me to get it together enough to do anything about it. My motivation is being healthier for the next pregancy. Everything will come with time. 

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auggiefrog:  Don’t feel silly! A loss is a loss. I’m so sorry you’re going through this at this time of year. It’s especially difficult. My mc was months ago and, while I won’t say I was 100% ok, the holiday season has definitely set me back a bit emotionally. Just take it one day at a time. We’re here for you.

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MusiqueEstVie:  I’m sorry for your losses. I totally understand having mixed feelings about TTC. I found out I was going to miscarry in August (had D&C early September after I failed to miscarry naturally), and it took me until now for the good thoughts to outweigh the bad, as I was/still am terrified of miscarrying again. We will finally resume TTC after this cycle. Maybe take some time off, enjoy your daughter, and go back to TTC again once you’ve had some rest from it. I hope you get your second child soon. 

Post # 195
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

 Hi girls, 

I am in desperate need of support. 

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): rest cycle after chemical 

MC History:

missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks D&C 

second miscarriage at 5 weeks, no heartbeat, second D&C

third miscarriage, chemical. Progesterone at 4 weeks was 6.4!

Issues (if any): MTHFR homo; insulin resistance, low progesterone

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):last cycle I used baby aspirin, metformin, 5 mg of folic acid, prenatals, omega and it didnt f$&@ work! 

Next cycle, we will try femara or clomid and progesterone injections 100 mg of progesterone in oil every day. Or…. the other option is go to an RE . 

Link to chart:i mainly use opks

What are your biggest challenges right now?

I feel hopeless. I get pregnant relatively easy, but I have never seen a heartbeat.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes:

Reading the messages in this board. It makes me feel that I am not alone. That am not a freak because you girls are wonderful, strong women and just like me you have suffer loss. I go to therapy too once a week, mostly to cry in front of a stranger

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Post # 196
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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PenelopeQ:  I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that.  Stay strong and FX you get your sticky baby soon. 

 

So I thought my bleeding was tapering off around Friday, and I started just wearing panty liners.  But now I am seeing this thick, dark red pooling.  I usually don’t feel it drop, it just does whenever it feels like.  Sometimes it doesn’t even really stick to the pad, just me. us this normal?  I just want this to be over so I can move on. 

So far I only had one question about when we were planning on having kids, from a male cousin just a little older than me.  So even if I did answer suspiciously, he probably wouldn’t have picked up on it.  I usually love Christmas.  This year I can’t wait to get back home after it’s all over.  

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