(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 197
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

<div>I’m at work so I’ll respond to others later but…</div>
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auggiefrog:  I had to respond to you. I would call your doctor. Not to scare you, but I had a missed miscarriage as well. I waited 2 weeks and started miscarrying naturally. About a week later, I got a few gushes of blood to the point that I felt it coming and couldn’t get to the toilet in time. I was hemorrhaging and needed an emergency D&C. Definitely not trying to scare you or tell you this is what is going on, but I would talk to your doctor and make sure this is normal. Good luck hon.</div>

Post # 198
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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auggiefrog:  Is what you’re passing clots? With my first MC I was only 5w1d and had the same thing you did, several days of spotting followed by a natural MC. I had heavy bleeding for several days than it tapered off to spotting and started up again. I actually bled on and off for almost two and a half weeks, during which time I would pass blood clots randomly throughout the process. If you’re concerned call your doctor, they can always order an ultrasound to make sure that everything has passed and also blood tests to confirm that your HCG levels are going down, anything less than 5 is considered a negative pregnancy test. 

Post # 199
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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auggiefrog:  I’m sorry if my response was over the top! When I saw “dark red pooling” I got concerned. If it’s clots, that makes sense.

Post # 200
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): TTC, cycle 8 post MC, CD 6. 

MC History: MMC in May, TTC ever since (on 8th cycle)

Issues (if any): This is interesting and frustraing. We got pregnant our 2nd month trying, miscarried and now we are going on cycle 8. I’ve checked out fine. Only issue is potentially morph (2%), but DH’s urologist assures us that it’s nothing to be concerned about.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): OPKs, Temping, Prenatals, Vitamin D, Baby Aspirin, Clomid, Mucinex

Link to chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545116

What are your biggest challenges right now? Staying positive while everyone seems to be getting pregnant but us.

 

 

Hi ladies, hope you don’t mind if I join in. I’m struggling a bit right now. My friend and I shared the same due date, except a year apart. My EDD was the 12/15/14 and her Dear Daughter was 12/15/13. Her baby turns one today and I’m still trying to get pregnant again. I’m feeling frustrated and hopeless as I don’t know what is taking so long this time. I never would have thought back in May that I’d still be trying to get pregnant when that date rolled around. It happened so easily the first time. I’m trying as hard as I can not to be bitter.

My mom called yesterday and was saying how my aunts were disappointed because my SIL (5 months pregnant) wouldn’t be at Christmas because they have a gift for the baby. This just set me off. My poor mom. My actual baby should have been getting presents, f’ing MC. I feel bad because I’m happy for my SIL and brother, but I don’t want to hear about it. My mom is excited to be a grandma, but everytime she brings it up, I always have to wreck her excitement bc I’m sad and bitter. *sigh*

Post # 201
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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Kay1126:  

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GonnaBeAFind:  Thanks girls.  It’s not too much blood, and it’s not really clot-ty, just thiick.  I’ll keep an eye on it for now. I’m just so sick of bleeding already.  I think I’ve been spotting or bleeding in one form or another for almost a month now, I should be out of stuff to billed out!   I’m out of town for Christmas, so I’ll just keep my FX that it goes away.  I already ‘passed’ the fetus on Monday, is there anything left in there that could be left? 

Post # 202
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

augiefrog: thank you and understand the feeling of wanting all of it to be over! With my last chemical, I felt so sad every time I had to go to the bathroom, is a constant reminder.

I have had two D&C with different doctors and they were totally different from each other. First one almost no pain and no blood from the surgery. Second one, lots of blood and clots. I also bled for like 2 weeks. 

All this sucks big time and I am so sorry that we have to go through this hell.

 

Post # 203
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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PenelopeQ:  
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alove31:  Welcome and I’m sorry you find yourselves here. I skimmed both of your posts because I’m on a quick break at work, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for your losses. I totally understand the “bitterness” and sadness, eespecially when others’ pregnancies are mentioned. My EDD is in March. I’m dreading it and praying I’m pregnant by then. Maybe that will soften the blow.

AFM, I swear my coworkers and other acquaintances can sense when I’m in a good place and ruin it. Darling Husband and I were going to wait to TTC again until next month so I could get these last 5 pounds off , but I had fertile CM yesterday and felt like ovulation was about to happen so we went for it. Because we’ve both been alternating being sick, it was our first time christening our new home (we closed 12/2 and moved in 12/14.) It felt so symbolic and special and I was floating today. Then out of nowhere today, a nosy coworker started a seemingly innocent conversation, “All done with Christmas shopping for the hubby?” I replied that we weren’t doing much in the way of gifts this year because we just bought a house and have been practically spending any extra money at Home Depot. She responds with, “Oh! You know what’s next! A baby, right? How old are you, girl? Better get started!” Ugh. Thanks a lot. For the record, I’m only 28 but really? You never know what peoples’ struggles are- that should never be an okay topic of conversation. Ugh rant over.

Post # 204
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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auggiefrog:  I think you should probably be ok then. I never actually passed the fetus, I just started hemorrhaging and when they went to do the emergency D&C, everything was still in there… So I don’t know why I had been bleeding for a whole week! Fx this is going to be the end of the road for you so you can begin the physical and emotional healing process.

Post # 205
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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Kay1126:  Thanks for the welcome and sorry about the nosy coworker. Ever since the MC and TTC, I’ve become super aware of what not to say to people. And I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve probably asked someone that a time or two before. Congrats on the house and the christening! 😉

Post # 206
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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alove31:  Haha thanks girl. 😉 Yeah I’m definitely more aware of what NOT to say now that I’ve been through this. I had a similar convo with this same coworker about 2 weeks after my D&C and it was not well-received so I’m not sure why she’d try it again. I guess she forgot. Oh well, Happy Holidays I guess!

Post # 207
Member
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Hi ladies… hoping it’s okay if I join.

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle):  MC cycle

MC History:  On Saturday (10w) I started having some brown spotting.  Called the midwife’s office on Monday, and they had me come in.  U/s found no heartbeat, and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks.  We’d had an early u/s at 5w6d due to spotting/bleeding, where baby was measuring 5w5d, and we were able to see the heartbeat.  Yesterday they said that it could take weeks to miscarry naturally, so I had a D&E today.

Issues (if any):  None known.  We’d gotten pregnant on our first cycle TTC in October.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):  Not sure yet… I charted for a year before getting pregnant (first TTA, then TTC) so will probably do that again.

Link to chart:  N/A

What are your biggest challenges right now?  Getting through the day and processing this news.  I still can’t believe that we’re not going to have a baby in July, and am sad/angry/frustrated/etc etc etc.  I feel like my emotions are this crazy roller coaster right now.  There are still moments where I can’t believe that this is happening… it kind of feels like I’m in a movie or a bad dream rather than real life.

One of my best friends had a baby today, too- when I told her about the MMC yesterday she couldn’t talk because she was in labor.  I am trying to sort out my feelings about that.  I am so, so excited for her and her husband, but it’s hard to figure out what all of my feelings are given our current situation.  DH and I are going to go see them and meet the baby tomorrow.  I think it will be hard but I guess I’m trying to separate the two events– I don’t want our loss to ruin sharing this time with them.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes:  Just trying to go with however I’m feeling at the moment.

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 208
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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PenelopeQ:  I have the same feeling everytime I go to the bathroom right now as well.  It is just a reminder that I am still dealing with this MC.  I know there are many reasons this baby did not live, but I just feel like it was my body that betrayed me.  

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Kay1126:  Congrats on the new house.  Some people can be so unsensitive.  I agree that I am a lot wiser about what to say, or not say to people know as well.  

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SaltedCaramel:  I’m sorry to see you here.  Hopefully your recovery is quick and you get your sticky bean.  

My worst two days are coming.  We were planning to announce to our families tomorrow and on Christmas.  I got a little emotional on the car ride back to my SIL’s tonight with a car full of people.  Luckily it was dark, so no one noticed.  I am so afraid of breaking down in the middle of festivities though.   I thought I was past the emotional stage.  The only one who knows about the MC is Darling Husband.  My goal is to focus on the people around me for the next few days.  

I finally got done editing some baby photos for a friend today.  I took them right after I found out I was pregnant, and I was putting off finishing them because of school, and also because I was emotionally dealing with my MC.  While I was taking them I was so excited thinking about taking my own babies photos come August, and now I am just sad, but relieved that I can be done with these photos.  I love my friend and her baby, but it is just a reminder of what is not going to be for me.  

Post # 209
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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GrannyPantiesRock:  I heard you were feeling lonely & decided to come back.

For some reason it cut off the rest of my comment. I was 6w2d this morning when I started to spot. I had an ultrasound at 1 pm (saw the sacs and a small fetal pole ~5 weeks) and passed the fetus at 5. I now have light cramping and bleeding. It’s happened so quickly, which is a blessing, but I feel like I don’t know which way is up. I dont have the energy to roll call, but like GPR, I also miscarried this time last year. This was mc #4 since last thanksgiving. 

Post # 210
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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SaltedCaramel:  I’m so sorry for your loss.  I was part of the July 2015 Mama’s with you and found out about my MMC at the end of November. 

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4littlekitties:  I’m so sorry you’re going through another loss, I couldn’t imagine how hard this must be for you.  I hope you have a speedy recovery.

Post # 211
Member
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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GonnaBeAFind:  I remember.  I’m sorry for yours as well.

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4littlekitties:  I’m so sorry.  This is a crappy time of year for MC.

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auggiefrog:  I’m sorry to see you here as well.  I totally hear you on feeling that your body betrayed you– I am struggling with feeling that way on and off too.  Sometimes I feel like I can be more rational about it, and other times not so much.  Good luck in getting through the holidays– it sounds so hard that only Darling Husband knows about your MC.  We’d told our families and close friends, so are in the process of telling them this news.  We’re spending Christmas with my family, and I’m so glad that it will just be immediate family, and that they know everything that’s happened.  It’s still going to be hard, though.  Would you consider telling any family members that you’re close to?  It’s still very recent for me, but so far it’s been nice to have the support of others (or at least you could feel like you don’t have to fake being fine).

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Kay1126:  That is unbelievable about your coworker!  Though not surprising, I guess.. the other day, a few of my staff were chatting about babies and wanted to know if Darling Husband and I were planning on having them.  At the time I was thinking that I’d probably tell them I was PG in a few weeks once I got to the second tri.  Obviously everything is different now… hoping that it doesn’t come up again at work anytime soon.

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alove31:  So sorry to hear about your loss.  That sounds so frustrating about your mom.  Does she know about the MMC?  Maybe you could let her know that it’s really hard for you to talk about this right now?  Or maybe you already have but she’s not listening.  This just sucks all around, I don’t think there’s any great solution.

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