(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 46
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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Tarsier90:  So sorry that you have to join our sad little group.  But it’s also an awesome little group with the most supportive and understanding ladies on the internet.

I agree with Kay, is there someone else you can share with?  Even though we only told my mom, my BFF and his BFF we were preg before the first time we MC’d, I ended up sharing my experience with other friends that I would come in contact with right after it happened.  So even though we hid the pregnancy while it was going good, I still could talk to anyone about the loss who I considered a good enough friend to share the struggle with.  That really helped. I didn’t want to pretend everything was great in our lives when I was absolutely destroyed on the inside. That doesn’t help me cope, and it doesn’t help a friend know when they should be supportive.  Anyway, obviously I’m pro-sharing the experience and think if that’s a really hard part for you right now, call up a good friend and make it a little easier on yourself 🙂

My only other piece of advice which I say pretty much every time someone roll calls here, is that you should do whatever it is you need to do or want to do right now, with no shame or regret. If you want to stay in bed for 2 days and eat takeout, do it.  If you want to turn your phone off and ignore the outside world, do it.  If you want to drink a bottle of wine and cry with sad music on, do it, just don’t drive or put yourself in any other danger afterwards.  Take this one day at a time, do not push yourself into social engagements if you’re not ready, and KNOW that it does get easier.  And, over time, if it’s gotten easier and suddenly you’re slammed with grief again, know that that’s normal and OK too.  Hugs.

Post # 47
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): <br />No heartbeat on utrasound today. D&C scheduled for this week.

MC History: <br />Started TTC last November. Got pregnant on first try and had a MMC on the ultrasound at 9 weeks. Baby measured 8w3d with no heartbeat. Took cytotec and had a miserable experience. Had to repeat because first round was unsuccessful and I bled for almost 3 months. Nine cycles later and we got a BFP in September. Had lots of early scans by fertility doc, but baby measured more and more behind each week. I knew what was coming. No heartbeat today and going the D&C route later this week. They will do genetic testing this time.

Issues (if any): <br />

Subclinical hypothroid (just a tad too low for TTC), celicac disease. We had a full round of testing from RE and everything was normal prior to this MC. We both had blood drawn for a Counsyl screen last week so we’re waiting on those results and whatever comes back after the D&C.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):

Ugh, who knows?

Link to chart:

Not charting. My cycles were somewhat regular and OPKs seemed to nail down my O date fairly well. 

What are your biggest challenges right now?

Dealing with the fact that 2 miscarriages make a MC in the future even more likely. I feel like time is slipping through my fingers. I spent that last year grieving my MC and stressing over TTC… and I hate that that’s what’s in front of me again. I feel like I don’t know how to enjoy myself with this void in our family. DH and I try to enjoy ourselves and our DINK lifestyle, but it just feels so empty for me. I also hate that we’re going to be “older” parents (DH is 39, I’m 32).

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes:

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”>I’m not a poster child for appopriate coping. Just today I’ve consumed buckets of gluten-containing fast food that I’ve been cravings. Also lots of alcohol.<br /><br /></div>

Post # 48
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Thank you for your kind words, I have a lunch planned with my mum tomorow so I think I might tell her then, we’re pretty close and I know she had a MC between me and my brother so she should understand perfectly what i’m going through. I don’t feel like I can tell my closest friends, I’m 24 and most of them are not in long term relationships/having kids and are still more about partying etc so I feel like they won’t understand or will feel akward about it, the only one I could really tell is my BFF and she just moved to Australia so we’re now in complete opposite time zones! (I’m currently living in Bulgaria)<br /><br />GrannyPantiesRock: I’m so so sorry for your loss, If you don’t mind me asking does Celiac disease have a link to MC? I’m also a Celiac and had no idea.<br /><br /><br />

Post # 49
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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Tarsier90:  Yes! Depending on what sources you look at, women with Celiac have up to 4 times the risk of miscarriage and bad pregnancy outcomes like still birth or preterm labor. This increased risk is eliminated with a strict gluten free diet. I was diagnosed by my RE.. I had no GI symptoms and was clueless, but it’s such a major factor than she routinely screens all patients with infertility or a history of miscarriages.

Post # 50
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

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GrannyPantiesRock:  I’m sorry, GPR. I know there’s nothing I can say, except that I will be thinking of you and wishing you peace and happiness and answers and a baby. 

Post # 51
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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GrannyPantiesRock:  I am so, so sorry you have found yourself back here. It’s simply not fair. I can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling, or give advice, but I’ve been following your story and thinking of you. I really hope you have a happy ending to your journey in the not-so-distant future. I think you’re entitled to the fast food and drinks right now! I’m hoping for the best for you.

Post # 52
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

4littlekitties: Andthepupmakes3: A little late to comment, but I totally understand. I was recently sitting at my desk when a co-worker that I haven’t seen in a while came over. She kept looking at my stomach and almost asked if I was pregnant. Then I mentioned putting on an addition (to our house) and she said “… to your family?” Uh, no.

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GrannyPantiesRock:  I’m so, so very sorry for your loss. I was quietly rooting for you over here.

Post # 53
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

And I’m going to Roll Call.

oll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): 6 DPO into my 6th cycle post MMC.

MC History: MMC in May (9 weeks), followed by D&C

Issues (if any): Just found out about DH’s morphology of 2%. Couldn’t figure out why it was taking us so long to conceive, especially because our first BFP was our second cycle. 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): BD EOD or ED, Baby Aspirin, Vitamin D, Prenatals, OPKs, Charting (although I don’t find this very useful), possibly the stork, and first cycle of clomid next month.

Link to chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/545116/

What are your biggest challenges right now? Getting used to the idea that we may need to move on to IUI or IVF. Hard to imagine for just a low morph issue. That and the fact that everyone is pregnant around me. SIL, BFF, other BFF will starting trying for her second in January and her DS was a one hit wonder, 1000 coworkers.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: Does excessively googling morph issues count?

Post # 54
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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redux:  
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Kay1126:  
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alove31:  Thanks everyone. It’s really a shit sandwhich being here again. But the support from this thread is fantastic.

Post # 55
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve officially broken a record. POAS 6 DPO. I’ll let you guess the outcome. 

Post # 56
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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alove31:  LOL hate to tell you but you are so not the first to POAS on 6DPO.  I think I’ve done it twice now! 

Post # 57
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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GrannyPantiesRock:  I am so pissed that I have to see you roll call here again. But know we’re all here for you when you need to rant, or type through tears, or whatever else you may do during these awful times!  Also, I know what you mean about it feeling “empty.”  I am the same age as you and while I do enjoy our DINK-ness, I’m SO ready to focus on spoiling a little one instead of myself.

 

Post # 58
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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alove31:  

…but I’ve totally done that more than once. Just wanted to see a line so bad.

Post # 59
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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Andthepupmakes3:  
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GrannyPantiesRock:  So glad I’m not the only one living in crazy town! 🙂 And I couldn’t love that squirrel more!

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